-help please- Wanting it wrong

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i can relate to, but i think that for me i sooner or later have to grow up because my goals in life arn't to become a junky. I need to grow up and stop wanting to be a little rebel so much. Trying new drugs that people havn't and just going too far. theres more things i believe in life that are better than dancing with the devil all the time.... I am attracted to the illicit lifestyle of no inhibitions, but its just because it's the only world i know right now and have been knowing. I need to open up more doors instead of making more walls to block all my oppertunities. I feel if i don't turn around soon, i don't know if i'll be able to turrn around later. It seems like it's quickly going downhill. and I'm getting more desperate.