Emme80
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 30, 2013
- Messages
- 233
I was previously on Methadone for too many years. I managed to taper off on my own with my take homes. The anxiety has been amped up & cold/hot sweated are still there- not massive now, but nonetheless THERE. And that alone has been freaking me out.
So, where does this turn to guilt? I was steady, determined(still am) and focused. 30+days distance between me& methadone, 10days away from the pain meds I was using to jump off the 2mg. Of methadone I was on-this was due to a foot reconstruction surgery I had.(it was 15 mg. ER Hydromorophone for a first 4/5(?)days as pain was more than excruciating(foot), then an oxycodone, then a Vicodin to end the taper). 10 or so days separated from that & a slight "oops". Set back. Pushed through.
I decided to throw down the drain all of remaining methadone. I want it out of my life. No matter how bad my foot feels. I wish if a doctor I could talk to about this but I don't. And how do you just ask for clonidine??? I've had it before- bought in line.
What did I do so bad? Before I tossed that methadone, I took a few mgs.(under 5mgs....didn't feel much of anything. A headache and worry...and disappointment)
I'm worried I threw away all I've fought for, if I'm set back all of the way now...I can't tell what damage I've done as I've still got chills. That's not changed in quite sometime, unfortunately. Hope a Dr. can find some kind of Grace upon me& script me clonidine.
Anyways, any thoughts on what I may or may not have royally jacked up? Will I be back at day one?
So, where does this turn to guilt? I was steady, determined(still am) and focused. 30+days distance between me& methadone, 10days away from the pain meds I was using to jump off the 2mg. Of methadone I was on-this was due to a foot reconstruction surgery I had.(it was 15 mg. ER Hydromorophone for a first 4/5(?)days as pain was more than excruciating(foot), then an oxycodone, then a Vicodin to end the taper). 10 or so days separated from that & a slight "oops". Set back. Pushed through.
I decided to throw down the drain all of remaining methadone. I want it out of my life. No matter how bad my foot feels. I wish if a doctor I could talk to about this but I don't. And how do you just ask for clonidine??? I've had it before- bought in line.
What did I do so bad? Before I tossed that methadone, I took a few mgs.(under 5mgs....didn't feel much of anything. A headache and worry...and disappointment)
I'm worried I threw away all I've fought for, if I'm set back all of the way now...I can't tell what damage I've done as I've still got chills. That's not changed in quite sometime, unfortunately. Hope a Dr. can find some kind of Grace upon me& script me clonidine.
Anyways, any thoughts on what I may or may not have royally jacked up? Will I be back at day one?