took 2.5 mgs last night- earlier (had been having trouble falling asleep but had been dosing at like 3 am, so I dosed at 10pm instead- I figure it takes a bit to kick in). Slept off and on but that is nothing unusual and was up for a couple hours at night. Problem is now I'm feeling like I'm not really having any major WDs and I have a bit left (probably 30mgs) and am tempted to take more (also people around me have been fucked up but I have no cash till tuesday (my wife may come home with some somas and kpins (another benzo- I know, should avoid but fuck when it is the only thing around!). Also stress going on around me, it is hard. But I'm thinking if I taper to 2, 1.5, 1, 0.5, 0.25 then wait a few days maybe I can take a dose. And I've thought about "well, I could order more tuesday maybe" but they really aren't euphoric anymore (basically benzos only seem euphoric to me if there is like none/little in me and suddenly I put some in).
But physically not bad- more worried about my suboxone actually. Appointment on the 30th and will have 3 8s left at around 5-6pm. I've been injecting them now to make them more effective (to me 1mg injected is like 6 under the tongue but only lasts a few hours (I actually can get high if I have been shooting after like 6 hours after the last shot (or less)). But then I'm probably switching to the methadone clinic in like 10 days (sister who is a nurse practitioner said due to my back, which she looked at the MRI's, it could be helpful although once daily dosing is far from ideal for pain- but if I was stable (clean urines) for 6 months or so at the clinic, and got my dose to around 60mgs (would prob go up to 80 the first month, maintain that a month, then drop 20-30mgs over 4 months) I could likely get on pain management due to my back.
If they still run the clinic like they used to the testing there is a joke- unmonitored urines (no running the water only rule) so people just bring in urine with methadone in it and use hand warmers (and they tell you the day before you have the test). May have changed though. Even if there is no way around it I actually used to be able to take my adderall on 80-90mgs of methadone.