HELP! Am I possessed or crazy?

[Aranok]

(it'll be really odd)

Since February, I get depressed very easily and really often, about twice each month, and when I'm depressed I don't wanna even live, just lying in the bed and sometimes crying for no reason (the last time I cried before February was about 6 years ago, so I didn't cry that much before that), and since that it's easier to make me angry, I was really peaceful before, I didn't even shout an anyone, but since February I punched my friend once for a very pity reason (when I said which direction the train will go, he told that I'm wrong, but it turned out that I was right), and there were more times I got really mad and just stayed away from my friends all day long sitting alone.

But today something really strange happened, I woke up at 2 AM after a nightmare, (I warn you in advance, it'll be really strange) in that nightmare a Succubus was torturing me, and as it's a succubus, you know what else...
So I woke up, and tried to sleep back, because I slept only a few hours and I ususally sleep till 9AM or so...
But no matter how hard I tried I couldn't fall asleep.

And after that... Even I don't know why I did that, but I started to find something fun on my mobile (related to succubus). I really feel ashamed and I REALLY don't understand why I did that...

It was this text game where you can make choices, and those will determine the end of the story.
http://www.editthis.info/create_your_own_story/Go_to_Hell

And at the end there's a quote: "you have to assign some of them at least to Earth to collect souls of people dumb or horny enough to fuck them"
and I still don't know the reason of doing it, but I was like "alright, bring me to hell"

I slept back for about 5-10 minutes, and since that I'm feeling really shit. My mood is just totally ruined, but I'm not tired at all. I feel like I want to be alone, and I don't even go online on skype, because I absolutely don't want to talk to my friends, and I know that my godmother would call me, because they set up the pool yesterday, but I don't want to do anything, I just want to be alone, and it scares me pretty much.

I didn't believe in this ghost/demon possession stuff, whatever, I didn't believe in this whole spiritual thing, only on evolution, because it's logical, but it was too much for me and I started to think that there are evil creatures besides humans too.

Thanks in advance for helping

 

[-=SS=-]

Crazy? No. Given that there is no real definition of what sanity or sane thinking is I would not bother yourself with those thoughts. If you could see inside other peoples minds you would probably be more shocked than what's in yours haha!

Possessed? Really unlikely. Sometimes we move to do things we later regret and wonder why on earth we did that. That's not possession.

Depression can have a powerful affect on your perceptions, as you're experiencing. Without you giving us your history I can't say this for sure, but, depression is usually quite a legitimate response to circumstances happening to a person. It's a natural reaction. Your mind and body is responding as it should. You're thinking and dealing with something, trying to sort it out. The people like your godmother and friends would more than likely give you an ear if you told them you were feeling depressed and wanted to talk about your situation. Talking can really help snap you out of a funk. There is no need to suffer on your own.. reach out and ask for help from those who care about you.

 

[Aranok]

First of all: thanks for your reply!

You may be right, but it's really hard to talk about such things, especially with people who are close to me. I'm afraid that they'd worry too much or the way they treat me would change or something like that.
There's something that could've made me depressed (a really bad quarrel), but I got over it, so I don't know why I'm feeling like this, but now I'm a bit calmer.

And I really appreciate that you could give me a decent answer and not laughing at my situation.

 

[Xorkoth]

You definitely don't sound crazy... I've done "crazier" stuff plenty of times. You had a nightmare and couldn't sleep so then you found something to occupy yourself related to what was on your mind. No need to feel ashamed of that.

As for the depression, it really does help to talk to people. They may be worried, but if you're not wanting to live when you're depressed, then something needs to change.A great first step would be to talk to someone you trust about it.

We could move this to The Dark Side if you'd like, they deal with this sort of thing more than this forum, but if you want me to leave it here, I will.

 

[(Kelso)]

Hi Aranok,

thats a tough place to be in, and I can understand how bad you feel as I've been in similar positions in my life. I'm am now in a great space personally because I talked to a professional and they helped me understand where a lot of my personal beliefs come from and gave me tools to deal with it. As such I would strongly recommend seeking help.

Ultimately for me I had to do a lot of the hard yards myself. This involved getting consumed by being with family more, working towards defined goals (work/study/etc) and funnily enough exercise. I also found Stocism and that helped me a lot as well. It didn't happen overnight, but eventually I looked up and found I was happy.

anyway I feel for you, and wish you all the best

 

[RichardMooner]

I second the former posts, if you feel depressed, talking to somebody you trust can be of great help. If you don't feel comfortable speaking with friends or family just yet, you might try a counselor? Many times, counselors are not quite what we want them to be, but they are someone to talk to at the least.

Kelso also mentioned exercise, this is very good advice if you are not particularly active, as of now.

Best wishes, hope and love.

 

[jetamine]

Definitely neither possessed or crazy, so put your mind at ease by dumping them thoughts.

Sounds like to me your going through a phase of mild to moderate depression, which is totally normal (sounds odd saying it's normal), what I mean by this is that so many people go through things like this in their life. There is usually a reason for depression, if you don't think there is then there is a possibility it's in your subconscious, I read an interesting article on this but cannot remember who wrote it.

I'd suggest going to a GP, don't try battle through it on your own.