The first time I took MDMA was completely different to any other time I've taken it. I felt so happy and euphoric, and loved everyone around me, even though the high only lasted about an hour, it was still one of the best experiences of my life.
I'd relied on my friends to be able to guide me through the night, as they'd had experience with drug before - some had taken it many times, some had only taken it once or twice, but for some reason everyone decided they were going to do a 400mg bomb, which I now know from my own experience is ridiculously, excessively big, and me not knowing any better, agreed to this. The 400mg bomb was followed by a much more reasonable 100mg bomb about an hour after the come up.
The second time was 4 days after the first and I did two 250mg bombs and the effects were similar, but nowhere near as strong, which I presumed to be caused by a lack of serotonin having rolled just a few days before.
But the third time was about a month later, when I did one 200mg bomb, where I came up and had no positive feelings at all. I felt agitated, wired and completely weird. This lasted for about an hour until I crashed and felt reasonably chilled but really, really tired.
Since then I've rolled about 5-6 times (2x 100mg bombs, spaced on average 3-4 weeks apart) with varying levels success, but no roll has ever been similar to the first one - I've never had that feeling of euphoria and empathy. I've felt good and wanted to dance but nothing special.
So I did a bit of research, and it led me to wondering if I've 'lost the magic' of MDMA? And if so, was it because of the ridiculously large dosages I started with? Will I ever get that feeling back? Have I been doing something wrong?
Edit: On each occasion any friends I've been with have had brilliant nights on the stuff that I'd taken. I'm also not on any medication or have any psychological problems. Nor would I say have any form of long term depression - just feeling a down for a few days after each roll, but I quickly go back to normal.
I'd relied on my friends to be able to guide me through the night, as they'd had experience with drug before - some had taken it many times, some had only taken it once or twice, but for some reason everyone decided they were going to do a 400mg bomb, which I now know from my own experience is ridiculously, excessively big, and me not knowing any better, agreed to this. The 400mg bomb was followed by a much more reasonable 100mg bomb about an hour after the come up.
The second time was 4 days after the first and I did two 250mg bombs and the effects were similar, but nowhere near as strong, which I presumed to be caused by a lack of serotonin having rolled just a few days before.
But the third time was about a month later, when I did one 200mg bomb, where I came up and had no positive feelings at all. I felt agitated, wired and completely weird. This lasted for about an hour until I crashed and felt reasonably chilled but really, really tired.
Since then I've rolled about 5-6 times (2x 100mg bombs, spaced on average 3-4 weeks apart) with varying levels success, but no roll has ever been similar to the first one - I've never had that feeling of euphoria and empathy. I've felt good and wanted to dance but nothing special.
So I did a bit of research, and it led me to wondering if I've 'lost the magic' of MDMA? And if so, was it because of the ridiculously large dosages I started with? Will I ever get that feeling back? Have I been doing something wrong?
Edit: On each occasion any friends I've been with have had brilliant nights on the stuff that I'd taken. I'm also not on any medication or have any psychological problems. Nor would I say have any form of long term depression - just feeling a down for a few days after each roll, but I quickly go back to normal.
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