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Has anybody made a conscious decision to eliminate or cut down on sarcasm from their words/thinking? How did it go?

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wareika

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 4, 2021
Messages
1,158
I saw a chalkboard in front of some groovy bar with various bits of timeless advice. One of them was "dont speak sarcastically".

It's not the first time i've heard that & i understand that it is functional. In brings us a bit closer to silence, humility, turning inward rather than getting caught up in the fun frolicking fireworks of words & opinions & blah blah. You don't tend to find a taoist or buddhist or quaker or devotee of god, barking up the sarcasm!

I'm quite open to modifying habits of the self & personality. It's all garbage really. No matter how flashy & brilliant we convince ourselves we are.

I'm a long lapsed catholic (possibly even while in utero..) but a lifelong sarcastic Breatharian.

It feels like an inevitable change. Sometimes ya gotta go in the opposite direction to your personality. I wondered if others have focused on sarcasm in particular when it came to self-change. I suppose my own exp of sarcasm is things like black humour, bile, oppositional wit, cynicism, absurdism. friction.
 
Sarcasm is a true art and not many people master it successfully. Used right sarcasm is witty, makes a point and does so without hurting the other persons feelings. Most people try and use sarcasm and it just comes off as passive/ aggressive insults.

My Grandmother was great at it. Once I got old enough to understand it I loved listening to her speak because she said so much without the other person even realizing they had just been had. So many people think they are using sarcasm correctly and all they are doing is either insulting someone elses intelligence or they are actually just being mean spirited. That's why they always have to say " Oh, I was only kidding ( or joking ). Or " I didn't mean it that way " . Or " Can't ya take a joke ? " Because they aren't really using sarcasm correctly......all they are doing is disparaging someone.

A true master of sarcasm is lovely to listen to. There are a few on here that are very good at it and I always smile inside when I read their comments.
 
Nurse Ratched said:
Sarcasm is a true art and not many people master it successfully. Used right sarcasm is witty, makes a point and does so without hurting the other persons feelings. Most people try and use sarcasm and it just comes off as passive/ aggressive insults.
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100% agree - sarcasm can be the 'lowest form of wit' and really destructive - or can be creative, illuminatory, playful, educational. We can also employ sarcastic action as opposed to just speech.

On topic, I've never really focussed on it regarding self change, but have definitely become more aware of how destructive it can be (oftentimes as much due to how the sarcasm is received/perceived as opposed to delivered). So, I've become less outwardly sarcastic I guess, certainly when not just around close friends. Quite tricky when one's inate personalilty is deeply sarcastic.

I might even erase the 'sarcastic' bit from the sign altogether and just write "don't speak". So much speech is just verbal diarrhea which just serves nothing of value to speaker or listener.
 
Nurse Ratched said:
Sarcasm is a true art and not many people master it successfully. Used right sarcasm is witty, makes a point and does so without hurting the other persons feelings. Most people try and use sarcasm and it just comes off as passive/ aggressive insults.

My Grandmother was great at it. Once I got old enough to understand it I loved listening to her speak because she said so much without the other person even realizing they had just been had. So many people think they are using sarcasm correctly and all they are doing is either insulting someone elses intelligence or they are actually just being mean spirited. That's why they always have to say " Oh, I was only kidding ( or joking ). Or " I didn't mean it that way " . Or " Can't ya take a joke ? " Because they aren't really using sarcasm correctly......all they are doing is disparaging someone.

A true master of sarcasm is lovely to listen to. There are a few on here that are very good at it and I always smile inside when I read their comments.
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What a slammer comment. blesssss
 
ageingpartyfiend said:
100% agree - sarcasm can be the 'lowest form of wit' and really destructive - or can be creative, illuminatory, playful, educational. We can also employ sarcastic action as opposed to just speech.

On topic, I've never really focussed on it regarding self change, but have definitely become more aware of how destructive it can be (oftentimes as much due to how the sarcasm is received/perceived as opposed to delivered). So, I've become less outwardly sarcastic I guess, certainly when not just around close friends. Quite tricky when one's inate personalilty is deeply sarcastic.

I might even erase the 'sarcastic' bit from the sign altogether and just write "don't speak". So much speech is just verbal diarrhea which just serves nothing of value to speaker or listener.
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Thanks. You have a real beautiful way with words, very crystal i luurrrvvve it...:

('can be creative, illuminatory, playful, educational.')
And that certainly sounds like my own experience of sarcasm anyway. I'm going to write a disclaimer here to clarify...and i guess it was inevitable anyways, gimme momento

ageingpartyfiend said:
We can also employ sarcastic action as opposed to just speech.
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Ah, wld you elaborate on that? Sarcastic action. Sounds intriguing.
 
A word about myself. I don't find my sarcasm necessarily destructive or toxic or gangrene or whatever. (very occassionally, and even then it mostly brings fruiful results. ie Friction "friction leads to fire yo !!")

I have a functioning sarcasm, it's great. I mean, it works, it's workable. Entertaining. I know very well that my sarcasm irl serves me first, it's to keep myself laughing basically. And whatever percentage others find funny, well ok but who gives a fuck. I blackface my soul with humour for mere "sticking around humour". Which is kinda like a metaphor for Working For the Dole /Welfare, perhaps. Idk, see.

I have friends who feedback my humour enough (always want more) & keep me guessing too. It's amazing what one or three dark IRL mofos can do for one's life expectancy)

I can't amputate my sardonic dry wit, so i'm not naive enough to think i'll wash it off with some stoopid spiritual shampoo. I feel deadly sorrowful for the people that walk into any auric school (very often, just rape schools s.t.s) that don't have senses of humours. That really is like, an abbatoir situation. (fortunately those people, at that stage are either so leechingly boring or doughy [straight Pink], that it's pretty easy to roll your eyes and not worry. Goats and chickens & ducks & cows are more Holy/Entertaining - it's the double pack that Maverickk works his whole life to turn backwards.

I remind y'all, this thread is meant sincerely and i appreciate the feedbackin'
 
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wareika said:
Ah, wld you elaborate on that? Sarcastic action. Sounds intriguing.
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Quick examples could be clapping someone for doing something dumb or dangerous or perhaps putting your daughter's phone on the dining table next to her plate before serving up...the options are endless!
 
Snafu in the Void said:
I can't help it. I do it unconsciously.

It's a bit of a problem sometimes, as my sarcasm often goes undetected and people think I'm being serious, which backfires on me.
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Snafu in the Void said:
as my sarcasm often goes undetected and people think I'm being serious, which backfires on me.
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That can be taken 2 ways though can't it? (i do relate:cool:)

You may have a pov which is slanted towards the negative outcome(s)..? But surely there are tangible positives from it. Is it a collective thing perhaps, some neurosis that makes us a bit rigid to accept that good stuff results from our "flaws" ?

Forgive me i might be fishing, brother :) But i can see how that wavelength of dry / alienating humour that others are unsure about has 1 distinct advantage, the best kind. Its a wavelength rarely be detected, but the more folks that get to hear your expression style, it can be like a homing signal. 80 or 50 or 99 % idk get filtered the fuck out. Which makes your recognition committee uniquely enabled to notice You as you notice Them. Like, the new jokes that i instinctively feel like pressing around new people. I cldn't care less for group but i do deeply value that one "oddball" or haha "Stray Cat". We find each other and they may just be the deeply weird committee that you both are Board Members of, yknow. who knows.

Anyway, i'm single and have no social responsibilities. I do understand that others have a more intricate path to tread. ie. feelings, managemant, partnerships, careers, children etc etc.
 
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ageingpartyfiend said:
Quick examples could be clapping someone for doing something dumb or dangerous or perhaps putting your daughter's phone on the dining table next to her plate before serving up...the options are endless!
Click to expand...
Wicked wicked gotcha hahaaaah:p
 
wareika said:
That can be taken 2 ways though can't it? (i do relate:cool:)

You may have a pov which is slanted towards the negative outcome(s)..? But surely there are tangible positives from it. Is it a collective thing perhaps, some neurosis that makes us a bit rigid to accept that good stuff results from our "flaws" ?

Forgive me i might be fishing, brother :) But i can see how that wavelength of dry humour that others are unsure about has 1 distinct advantage, the best kind kind. Its a wavelength that might rarely be detected, but the more folks get to hear your expression style, it can be like a homing signal. 80 or 50 or 99 % idk get filtered the fuck out. Which makes your recognition committee uniquely enabled to notice You as you notice Them. Like, the new jokes that i instinctively feel like pressing around new people. I cldn't care less for group but i do deeply value that one "oddball" or haha "Stray Cat". We find each other and they may just be the deeply weird committee that you both are Board Members of, yknow. who knows.
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Yeah, pretty sure it's my dry/dark sense of humor combined with high functioning autism.

I think it's really just more of an annoyance for me when it happens, I don't think it's such a bad thing. I love my sense of humor.
 
Opi_Kid_Rock said:
Sarcasm that hurts others could be categorized as not following one of the eight fold paths that lead to freedom from suffering; namely- right speech.
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I was thinking of the same 'fence posts' as i posted this; right speech [especially] / right action / right thought :)
 
Snafu in the Void said:
Yeah, pretty sure it's my dry/dark sense of humor combined with high functioning autism.

I think it's really just more of an annoyance for me when it happens, I don't think it's such a bad thing. I love my sense of humor.
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Can you give me an example of a 'backfiring' situation, where it doesn't work for ya?
 
wareika said:
Can you give me an example of a 'backfiring' situation, where it doesn't work for ya?
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I honestly can't recall any specific examples... it happens so often I quickly forget about it.

But it's usually me talking about how bad/dumb something is, or some sort of strongly worded opinion of mine about something, but the person involved takes it seriously and sort of looks at me weird, when in reality I'm just making a joke.

It backfires by making the person think I'm weird or a very negative person. If anything, I am usually a very positive guy, even in the darkest situations.
 
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