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Guilt: Methamphetamine vs. Other Drugs

I agree methamphetamine (especially higher doses) can often result in a sweaty, trembling mess of neurotoxic punishment. I think a lot of the paranoia from the residual stimulation/psychosis effects from the m-amp can be translated into a sense of heavy guilt. The prosexual properties often lead to prolonged sessions of porn and masturbation, which for some individuals can induce strong feelings of guilt and shame. After long runs of being twacked the fuck out, I always feel like everyone around me could tell right away (not unlike schizophrenia and the paranoia which entails. I was on methamphetamine specifically (or coming down from) towards the end of the run when it certainly just becomes insane and dysphoric. The dopaminergic fuckery is painfully obvious.

I also found that neuroprotective supplements/vitamins post-loaded before dosing makes a huge difference on the quality of the actual high, preventing neurotoxicity (i.e. melatonin, ashwaghanda, chelated magnesium, L-tyrosine, fish oil) and other substances (i.e. clonazepam, cannabis, and nicotine- MOA-ihibition from the harmala alkaloids in tobacco)
 
I feel guilt for the horrible things I've done to get drugs, but not simply for using the drugs.

It's my body why should I feel guilty for using drugs.

I SHOULD feel guilt for the lying, stealing, and manipulating I've done because of my heroin addiction. And I do. But before things got that bad, I never felt guilt simply for using drugs in itself.

I don't use methamphetamine much and so its never cost me as much so I actually feel much less guilty using meth which hasn't cost me anything, as opposed to heroin which has cost me almost everything.
 
Fuck I can relate to this, meth is the only drug that gives me an intense sense of guilt for no reason. It's like I start to guilty about everything, right down to absurd things like feeling guilty about the amount of music I listened to whilst I was high . I get this feeling that I'll ruin music when I'm sober if I binge tons of it when I'm high on meth wtf (and that's the only thing I seem to wanna do on meth for some reason).

That's one of the main reasons I quit, the guilt was happening at the same time as I was high and became ridiculously intense when I would come down, even off a day's worth (I never went over a day's worth bar once) . Just ended up either ruining the high or ruining my perception/memory (when I'm sober) of getting high on meth. My brain imprinted this perception of meth as being dirty and guilt-inducing and that put me off the drug after a while, despite the euphoria
 
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