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Growing up in my family, I used to think it was normal that ...

^ Alcohol or beverages in general?

Growing up, my brother and I typically weren't given drinks before/during the meal or else we'd fill up on those. 8)
 
Actually, there are whole cuisines where beverages aren't a traditional part of meals at all.
 
Growing up, my brother and I typically weren't given drinks before/during the meal or else we'd fill up on those. 8)

My family as well. I used to chug a big glass of milk and only eat half of my dinner. Then the no beverage rule came into play.
 
I never thought the way I was raised was 'normal'. As a small child, I knew very well that there (a) was no such thing as 'normal', and (b) my family was raising me in a way that, although loving and done with the best of intentions, was actually quite foolish and not conducive to growth. I was raised in a very overprotective yet oblivious household. When I say oblivious, I mean that my family was so neurotic that they didn't know how to handle basic issues that arise when raising a child, and that they had their own issues and thus could not help me navigate my life, or my issues growing up. My mum was a single parent living with her parents while attending college. My grandparents played a large role in raising me, my biological father was 'absent', and my acting out and boughts of depression were constantly unrecognized and masked with material possessions. I knew that the other children were able to play outside with the other children, ride bicycles, ect...and that it was an overprotective response for my family to shelter me. I also knew that the 'C's get degrees' attitude I continuously received did not seem right. When I would knowingly and intentionally fuck off homework assignments, and get a certificate of participation for an extracurricular activity, I knew it was not an appropriate response for them to act as though I won the Nobel Peace Prize. The only area I developed a baseline for 'normal' was in later years as a teenager, and that was where emotions were concerned. I then began realizing that not everyone was as governed by emotions. Still to this day, I find that when I am open about my emotions with friends, many of them give unsympathetic responses. Having come from a very enmeshed family that constantly stated/states how depressed, nervous, and pissed off they are, I still to this day have to remind myself that not everyone came from a family that talks about (and often dwells on) their feelings.
 
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The only area I developed a baseline for 'normal' was in later years as a teenager, and that was where emotions were concerned. I then began realizing that not everyone was as governed by emotions. Still to this day, I find that when I am open about my emotions with friends, many of them give unsympathetic responses. Having come from a very enmeshed family that constantly stated/states how depressed, nervous, and pissed off they are, I still to this day have to remind myself that not everyone came from a family that talks about (and often dwells on) their feelings.

I relate to this very much. It took me a long time to realize that those fabled dads who never talked about their feelings and hard-assed practical moms who dished out tough love were extremely common, and not going away. I remember assuming, I'm not exactly sure how, that this was the wave of the future, and my family's emotionally frank style was just ahead of its time.

It took me a long time to realize that in most instances it's not necessary to verbalize my emotions at all, and rarer still articulately or elaborately, because my face, my body language, and just the circumstances of the situation usually say it loud and clear to all but the thickest of folks.
 
I thought it was normal to yell, scream, cuss, hit furniture and be angry all day, everyday...

Seriously now, I dont think I ever think it was really normal, but I remember the first time I met a friend's family, I was so baffled by the peace. I thought "oh my God, people in general are so much calm and peaceful"
 
It's funny how the most hardcore addicts usually had what many would consider an "ideal" childhood
 
Total ideal childhood here. Never had to talk about our feelings, thank god.

I used to think it was normal for parents to constantly give their children money.

No drinking at dinner time...?! What lol
 
Growing up I thought it was normal for grandma to have a tumbler of scotch for breakfast when everyone else had tea of coffee on Xmas morning. Scotch is still grandmas perfume in my eyes even though the malicious old bitch has been dead for years. Then again I wonder how I would be if I drank a bottle or two of scotch & handfulls of barbs for daily 50+ years?
 
growing up in my family i always thought;

- question authority and think for yourself, dont believe a word you are told
- dads were disabled
- dads were drug addicts
- mums were the bread winners
- it was normal to be abnormal, we always did everything differently, didnt matter what it was we always stuck out like a sore thumb
- manners were essential, not that anyone else ever used them, spose that was part of being abnormal
- treat every living creature equally and with value. we had chooks running around in our house
- pets and animals were more trust wothy and loving than 99% of people/humans
- had schizophrenic grandparents in an institution on one side, and grandparents that had their rich asses so far up their own ass they coulnt be fucked to visit their grandchildren on the other
- life was meant to be enjoyed and not to work 9-5 for peanuts
- self sufficiency was more important than working to make money for a boss
- the world is mad and getting madder so do your own thing
- the economy is flawed and it will inevitably collapse on itself
- the rich get richer while the poor get poorer
- above all else be happy
 
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It's funny how the most hardcore addicts usually had what many would consider an "ideal" childhood

It's funny how you only know about hardcore addicts with an "ideal" childhood.

Honey, you know nothing. It gets much crazier than that!
 
Growing up in my family, I used to think it was normal that...

... kids went to visit their dads on the weekend. No one I knew before I started school lived with their mom and dad. Everyone I knew went to visit their dad on the weekend.

... every parent had two children, typically boys, and almost always two years apart. Gives a whole new level to the nature v. nurture debate with me! :p

... you didn't drink during a meal. To this day, I don't drink while eating.

... grandmas raised the children while the mother was at work and who then came home and was an absentee parent and bonified TV-junkie. Wasn't 'til I started going to other people's houses that I realized how much involvement most people's parents have with 'em... :-/



I thought it was normal too for kids to visit their dad on weekends. but my mom never watched TV. I think she was OCD or on meth because she was always cleaning something.

but for me it was normal for the kids to come home from school. open the house with their own key and sit and watch cartoons until mom got off work. sometimes she would dictate over the phone how to start dinner so that we had it mostly ready when she got home. I was walking home by myself and being alone for several hours from the time I was 6.

I thought it was normal for your parents to hate each other to the point they had to be seperated on the off chance they were in the same place at the same time. and I thought everyone had 5 grandmas.
 
Ditto on the multiple grandmas thing. My mom is all of my friends' mom as well. I think my mom has a good 35 children or so now!
 
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