Bubitron2
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2019
- Messages
- 6
I've managed to make life really difficult for myself, and I only have myself to blame. I'm such a tit.
Long story short, I've been a heroin addict on and off (but mostly on) for the last 18 years. I started injection aged 19, and snowballing (crack and heroin mixed together)whenI was 22- I've been snowballing for 11 years which has caused me a lot of medical issues.
I'm very lucky to have the parents that I have - about 5 years ago I went to them and said that I'd had enough and I wanted help to get clean. They've heard it all before in the 13 years before, several times. However they decided to help me again after all the shit I've put them through previously -I know I'm lucky to have them. They got me on a methadone prescription within 4 days; the average waiting time where I live (north of England) was 3 weeks. I got clean. I started reducing. I was down to 40ml from 110ml,u was doing well. Then lockdown. I was fine for a while; then I caught corona virus. I couldn't pick up my weekly prescription. The clinic saidI needed a family member or someone who wasn't in treatment to collect my prescription. My parents were down south, my step mothers mother is 89 and struggling to cope with isolation so they moved in with her for a couple of months. I cut 90% of friends out of my life when I got clean because they were still using,I have no clean friends in my city asI moved away for a fresh start -I had no one to collect for me, and the only clean friends lived Miles away. My key worker tried to arrange a volunteer to bring my methadone but the doctor wouldn't allow this. In the endI decided to brave it out and go cold turkey. I made it 3 days and thenI relapsed. That was 3 months ago. I'm back to square one and absolutely no one knows. My family know I've come off my methadone and they were so proud that I couldn't bring myself to tell them that I've relapsed - they've been going round this circle with mesince I was 14. I'm so gutted with myself-I feellike the last 5 years was a total waste.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Don't know how to get myself out of the hole I've dug for myself.
Long story short, I've been a heroin addict on and off (but mostly on) for the last 18 years. I started injection aged 19, and snowballing (crack and heroin mixed together)whenI was 22- I've been snowballing for 11 years which has caused me a lot of medical issues.
I'm very lucky to have the parents that I have - about 5 years ago I went to them and said that I'd had enough and I wanted help to get clean. They've heard it all before in the 13 years before, several times. However they decided to help me again after all the shit I've put them through previously -I know I'm lucky to have them. They got me on a methadone prescription within 4 days; the average waiting time where I live (north of England) was 3 weeks. I got clean. I started reducing. I was down to 40ml from 110ml,u was doing well. Then lockdown. I was fine for a while; then I caught corona virus. I couldn't pick up my weekly prescription. The clinic saidI needed a family member or someone who wasn't in treatment to collect my prescription. My parents were down south, my step mothers mother is 89 and struggling to cope with isolation so they moved in with her for a couple of months. I cut 90% of friends out of my life when I got clean because they were still using,I have no clean friends in my city asI moved away for a fresh start -I had no one to collect for me, and the only clean friends lived Miles away. My key worker tried to arrange a volunteer to bring my methadone but the doctor wouldn't allow this. In the endI decided to brave it out and go cold turkey. I made it 3 days and thenI relapsed. That was 3 months ago. I'm back to square one and absolutely no one knows. My family know I've come off my methadone and they were so proud that I couldn't bring myself to tell them that I've relapsed - they've been going round this circle with mesince I was 14. I'm so gutted with myself-I feellike the last 5 years was a total waste.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Don't know how to get myself out of the hole I've dug for myself.