• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: axe battler | xtcgrrrl | arrall

Girls and Recovery

cj said:
Honestly man maybe you should get a prostitute? I am probably going to get crucified for suggesting that but at least its honest. They want money you want sex. I personally don't feel there is anything immoral about that arrangement.
Click to expand...


Really not a bad idea cj for so many reasons, I hope you don't get hate for that suggestion. At least in that situation the woman would be getting something out of the deal lol.
 
I think CJ is onto something with that suggestion. Fantastic idea for this particular situation I think.
 
It does still miss the mark though. Why is masterbation not an option? Why is a period of temporary celibacy not an option?
 
Yeah maybe he's not a total gentlemen and broadcasts his selfishness loudly but I think suggesting he has no empathy for women and has deep rooted issues is extreme.
 
Thank you Get2Think. On the one hand, I personally find this kind of behavior abhorrent, but on the other, it is so the culture we live in. . .
 
Get2Think said:
Yeah maybe he's not a total gentlemen and broadcasts his selfishness loudly but I think suggesting he has no empathy for women and has deep rooted issues is extreme.
Click to expand...

toothpastedog said:
Thank you Get2Think. On the one hand, I personally find this kind of behavior abhorrent, but on the other, it is so the culture we live in. . .
Click to expand...

Yeah...have you guys read his other posts dealing with women? Do you have any idea how this attitude is damaging to the women he gets involved in? Women end up with trust issues and PTSD from men with attitudes and beleifs like his and it is not acceptable or okay. Many men cannot relate or understand the pervasive damage this type of man does to women, unless they love a woman who has experienced a relationship like this.

ToothPasteDog - It is not the culture we live in and making excuses for the OP and others who have this attitude is a huge part of the problem. I am disappointed in your statement TPD. At one point in time slavery was the norm...does that make slavery okay? No, it doesn't. People like the OP prey on young naive girls (read some of his posts - he only looks for the young ones) and they mentally tear them down until they are a shell of their former selves. They get depressed and have no self worth and often turn to eating disorders and addiction to ease the pain.

That you give this behavior a pass because it is the "norm" is sad. You are still very young, I think if you stay in this field you will unfortunately learn why I am upset with your statements as you will have more experience working with women in recovery who are picking up the pieces in the aftermath of relationships with men like the OP.

Get2Think - you want to know what's extreme - that this type of behavior is tolerated and accepted. It's socially irresponsible to give this guy a pass on his attitude and behavior so he has no inclination to change and he can keep hurting people. His behavior needs to be called out for what it is.

It is never okay to objectify people - never. By admonishing my thoughts and opinion you are indirectly supporting his thoughts which are abusive, so you are essentially supporting abuse towards women. His attitude and behavior is extreme and should be met with resistance. He should be made aware that it is not the norm, it is not acceptable, and that he needs to analyze where these feelings are coming from.

To Both: Would you want your Mother, Sister, or Daughter involved with a man like this? Would you sit idlely by let someone like him give them the honor of cleaning his house and sucking his dick just to be treated like shit? I don't think either of you would want a loved one in that situation.

I absolutely stand by what I said in regards to the OP, and no, what I said is not extreme. I removed the extreme parts before I posted, believe me my response was a lot longer originally. It is an appropriate response for the extreme mysoginy the OP consistently displays in his posts regarding women. The OP speaks like he is 15 years old who just dropped out of high school, trying to be some thug but is stuck in rural West Virginia, hiding behind church doctrine even though he doesn't practice what he preaches, because he feels the church validates him on some level and his mere attendance makes him godly.

In fact, this is a 29 year old man that preys upon young girls because he can manipulate and control them and it's sick. The more women reject him because of his horrible attitude the worse his attitude will get because he grows angry, and the behavior will only get more extreme. Keep in mind, he's already hurt and angry on top of being extremely ignorant with very little exposure to the outside world...in short, he's dangerous because he lacks education and critical thinking skills to fully examine his situation and how to build a better life for himself. If he is not given resources and pushed to grow as a person he is going to end up an abusive, angry, bitter old man who thinks he has been wronged by the world and he will keep displacing his hostilities on other people because he is owed.
 
Last edited:
^ well said. When I was growing up, I spent some summers in this small town called lindsay. There were these 2 guys there. Super creepy. The first time I met the 1 guy was by seeing a shadowy black man walking down the boardwalk at 2am with a katana blade out of its sheath. I was with a buddy and we eventually ascertained he wasnt going to kill us and had a conversation with him. Then we met his friend. This totally fucking demented brain damaged hick motherfucker with no teeth who hung out with little kids that had shitty pasts. These 2 started doing extasy with these kids and gave some of them as young as 14 E every day for like a year or two. I always tried to warn these kids but they just were not able to receive what i was saying. I obviously knew they were perverts. I was a city kid with a lot of practice in fucked up people. I get that this is different. I hope it is anyway. The whole thing went really south with one of my friends dying from it :( She was abducted by the hillbilly buck tooth fuck and his friend and raped. Im sure there were many more rapes too. She ended up oding on alchol and morphine and extasy when she was 16. Down the street from me. My friend and my best friends girlfriend. These fuckers never got caught. The worst part about it is the hillbilly piece of shit had a beautiful 4 year old daughter.

Anyway. Don't prey on people!! :(
 
Last edited:
Moreaux said:
Yeah...have you guys read his other posts dealing with women? Do you have any idea how this attitude is damaging to the women he gets involved in? Women end up with trust issues and PTSD from men with attitudes and beleifs like his and it is not acceptable or okay. Many men cannot relate or understand the pervasive damage this type of man does to women, unless they love a woman who has experienced a relationship like this.

ToothPasteDog - It is not the culture we live in and making excuses for the OP and others who have this attitude is a huge part of the problem. I am disappointed in your statement TPD. At one point in time slavery was the norm...does that make slavery okay? No, it doesn't. People like the OP prey on young naive girls (read some of his posts - he only looks for the young ones) and they mentally tear them down until they are a shell of their former selves. They get depressed and have no self worth and often turn to eating disorders and addiction to ease the pain.

That you give this behavior a pass because it is the "norm" is sad. You are still very young, I think if you stay in this field you will unfortunately learn why I am upset with your statements as you will have more experience working with women in recovery who are picking up the pieces in the aftermath of relationships with men like the OP.

Get2Think - you want to know what's extreme - that this type of behavior is tolerated and accepted. It's socially irresponsible to give this guy a pass on his attitude and behavior so he has no inclination to change and he can keep hurting people. His behavior needs to be called out for what it is.

It is never okay to objectify people - never. By admonishing my thoughts and opinion you are indirectly supporting his thoughts which are abusive, so you are essentially supporting abuse towards women. His attitude and behavior is extreme and should be met with resistance. He should be made aware that it is not the norm, it is not acceptable, and that he needs to analyze where these feelings are coming from.

To Both: Would you want your Mother, Sister, or Daughter involved with a man like this? Would you sit idlely by let someone like him give them the honor of cleaning his house and sucking his dick just to be treated like shit? I don't think either of you would want a loved one in that situation.

I absolutely stand by what I said in regards to the OP, and no, what I said is not extreme. I removed the extreme parts before I posted, believe me my response was a lot longer originally. It is an appropriate response for the extreme mysoginy the OP consistently displays in his posts regarding women. The OP speaks like he is 15 years old who just dropped out of high school, trying to be some thug but is stuck in rural West Virginia, hiding behind church doctrine even though he doesn't practice what he preaches, because he feels the church validates him on some level and his mere attendance makes him godly.

In fact, this is a 29 year old man that preys upon young girls because he can manipulate and control them and it's sick. The more women reject him because of his horrible attitude the worse his attitude will get because he grows angry, and the behavior will only get more extreme. Keep in mind, he's already hurt and angry on top of being extremely ignorant with very little exposure to the outside world...in short, he's dangerous because he lacks education and critical thinking skills to fully examine his situation and how to build a better life for himself. If he is not given resources and pushed to grow as a person he is going to end up an abusive, angry, bitter old man who thinks he has been wronged by the world and he will keep displacing his hostilities on other people because he is owed.
Click to expand...

I wasn't trying to make any excuses for anyone, just reflecting the nature of a culture where a man can run for president who has a very similar position on women. I guess I need to keep working on wise speech.

I think treezy is just totally unaware of how harmful the way he even just thinks about women is, let alone how he actually talks about and treats them.

Edit: yup, on reflection thank you for chewing me out there Moreaux, I totally deserved that. I shouldn't have "thanked" the above for his comments. I could have simply commented on our culture and left it at that. Or not, it wasn't like an important point in any way shape or form.

Thank you for holding me to a higher standard :) (I'm not being snippy here, genuinely thank you)
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I'm not sorry for anything I've said on this forum, ever, however since I'm trying to get better I will be more open then I usually am.

I lost my virginity in a threesome at 14 which made me feel like a boss. Girls liked me for whatever reason I was an asshole though and couldn't be bothered with girlfriends for a long time.

At 16 or 17 I was a little more mature and less wreckless. I met a girl I got attached to maybe because of the ecstasy pills and mushrooms she introduced me to. We were together a while and she ended up dying of a drug overdose while I was out of town. I was kinda broken hearted (maybe I should have been more but I had started going buck wild on PCP binges which made me cold.)

Couple years pass I'm fucking or whatever no girlfriends I was popular by the end of highschool.

At 19 I met a girl I liked immediately. She was sweet, a virgin and seemed special. I went on a few dates and she wouldn't fuck but was obviously obsessed with me which was a good game to run it worked I wasn't used to girls not fucking the second we ended up in a bedroom.

Anyways I hung out with her 5-6 times no sex just handjob 6th time I showed her her then ghosted on a PCP get money spree hit her up 2 weeks she seemed sad I felt bad I really liked her. Met up with her she told me she was scared of sex I told her I'd be gentle etc ended up having sex at her dads house.

I decided I wanted to be with her. She was a decent girlfriend besides constantly accusing me of cheating and other drama. Always buying me shit too doing my laundry making me meals wifey shit.

The only major red flag I had with her is when I pulled out several thousand dollars cash and her eyes lit up and she asked to hold it "I've never seen this much money before!"

Anyway's I got locked up for 9 months she said she wanted to get back together after. I didn't expect her to be abstinent but I get out get back with her and it turns out she had banged at least 2 members of the team.

That hurt me bad, heartbroken. The suicide girl didn't have that effect too much dust probably. This relationship was a year or 2.

Couple years later met another girl, she was hot in a good girl way, could hold a conversation better than most girls, did volunteer work etc seemed like she would be a good mother.

We were together a while I got locked up again same thing I didn't expect her to stay faithful but fucked members of the (different) team.

Anyways between my 3 serious relationships I am completely fucking jaded with no love in my heart.

I realize I am not innocent in all this, I was not a great boyfriend in terms of honesty, heavy drug use, disappearing for days at a time, being a criminal at the time.

I also should not be surprised when you roll with a cold-hearted crew they try to fuck your girl when you're down for the count.

I also experienced all these relationships from the perspective of someone who is frequently dusted.

Anyway I guess I'm just frustrated that I can't bond with/trust a girl, even if I could it would hurt my sobriety.

I want to have sex but want to be a better person and I don't know how to do more than fuck and duck a girl to protect myself emotionally.
 
Good lord.

You need to start whacking off and leave the women of the world alone for awhile.
 
Yikes, I am so sorry you lost your virginity at 14 in a threesome.

Did you actually just say "obviously " she was "obsessed" with you?

I think damn near every response in this thread has said that sucking it up and masterbation are your best choices (for you, the women you may meet in the future and your sobriety). Do you think every 29 year old is out having sex with hot virgins and you are missing out? I hate to break it to you - but probably most single 29 year old dudes do not have this issue because they f'in masterbate when sex is not morally, readily or ethically available to them. What more do you want us to say?

You might want to quit while you are ahead, Treezy.

- VE
 
Yeah you dropped a lot of douche bag bombs in that last post, treezy z. Do all of these ladies know you're on a team?

There is never an excuse to treat people the way you do. Being emotionally fucked up doesn't give you the right to emotionally fuck up anyone else.
 
The powers that be encourage masturbation to weaken men so we don't form an uprising against a global police state. I find masturbation morally repugnant.

(I'm just fucking around I'm against masturbation though. Maybe I'll try once a week.)
 
Is it a power issue? Like why should you have to touch that little weaner when there are a plethora of hoes out there that would be honored to do it for you.
Maybe you're just on a bad team. Ask to be traded?
 
SL --> SLR (if the SLR mods feel this is better suited for SL feel free to bounce it back)

Please play nice folks. Otherwise, carry on.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Treezy- you're last few posts really clarify the situation...my apologies. It is really difficult to invest yourself in a relationship when you have been hurt and betrayed. I think you are correct for not wanting to jump into one now in early recovery, but on the other hand just have a sex buddy invites an entirely different set of problematic circumstances. Question, are you against masterbation because it goes against your religion or because you fear that it will make you weak?

Also, I take back the notion of using a prostitute as mentally I don't think that would be beneficial. Early recovery puts you in a vulnerable situation and the last thing you need is the distraction and stress from a relationship. Regardless of whether you are in a committed relationship or one for just sex, both are still relationships of sorts and can have devestating negative consequences on your sobriety. If masterbation is truly out of the question I would suggest finding a sex partner on a sex meet up site, and making your intentions completely clear when you find somebody you are interested in. I recommend divulging as little personal information as possible, and meeting at a motel. I can't recommend a site like that as I have never used them, but I do know that they exist. Do research on them before you choose one.

I think moving forward when you are ready for a relationship consider a woman your age - don't automatically eliminate them. Reason being, they will have more maturity and will have a much more solid sense of their identity and what they want out of life. They have already sowed their wild oats and are more aware of what they want in a partner and out of life. Find someone with common interests and goals - much less drama. Relationships are built around trust. Take time and get to know them before you commit or jump into bed. Also, the healthier you are the healthier the type of person you attract will be. If you want to find a good God faring girl without much drama you yourself have to be healthy and drug free as healthy mentally sound people are not going to stay with an addict.

One last thing about masterbation, and I'm not trying to go against your beliefs but want to point out, men need sexual release for their health, whether it's through masterbation or with a partner. I am familiar with your stance on porn, and porn is not necessary to masterbate.
 
I agree with Moreaux on the masturbation. I try to do it everyday so later in life, God doesn't thank my vigilance with prostate cancer.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top