Girlfriends 7 months pregnant and on methadone.

[Kraken101]

I'm sorry about your situation.

Ultimately, giving advice on how to pass a piss test is not really something we delve into here.

I will still leave the thread open for any more good advice that comes through for you, but will close it if it becomes centered on that topic.

Thank you, and even though I pretty much did request that, I was paranoid, but I do agree.

 

[December Flower]

Do not let her stop the methadone cold turkey, it could cause a miscarriage

not just cold turkey. Stopping in general will increase the risk of causing a miscarriage.
most medical professionals agree that is best to let a drug addict carry out the baby, not stopping to take the drug.
the stress to the body has a high chance of killing the unborn child.
even if she tries in tiny baby steps it's very easy to lose the child.

 

[Feretile]

https://www.karger.com/Article/Fulltext/381670 - tapering while pregnant
https://mothertobaby.org/fact-sheets/methadone/ - methadone treatment when pregnant
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16261362/ - changes in methadone biokinetics while pregnant

In short, if your partner were given opiods for organic pain while pregnant, the doctor would be cautious but it is not a ref d flag. I am horrified by a system that takes a single medical fact to decide if people will be good parents.

It seems so terribly wrong. The outcomes for the child, the outcomes for the mother; neither are being considered.

I also tend to believe that MONEY would make the problem go away. I do not know if methadone is used for treating pain in your locale (it's used in most nations) and I do not believe if the SAME drug were prescribed for pain their would be ANY question over your ability to love and care for your child.

 

[December Flower]

https://www.karger.com/Article/Fulltext/381670 - tapering while pregnant
https://mothertobaby.org/fact-sheets/methadone/ - methadone treatment when pregnant
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16261362/ - changes in methadone biokinetics while pregnant

In short, if your partner were given opiods for organic pain while pregnant, the doctor would be cautious but it is not a ref d flag. I am horrified by a system that takes a single medical fact to decide if people will be good parents.

It seems so terribly wrong. The outcomes for the child, the outcomes for the mother; neither are being considered.

I also tend to believe that MONEY would make the problem go away. I do not know if methadone is used for treating pain in your locale (it's used in most nations) and I do not believe if the SAME drug were prescribed for pain their would be ANY question over your ability to love and care for your child.

At the risk of sounding harsh:
The outcomes are being considered, but anyone risking their child getting born addicted to drugs for recreational value should not be in charge of said child. Yes for pain treatment it would be an entirely different discussion, because then it's prescribed and the patient is showing a certain level of restriction by keeping to the schedule.

I work with a lot of addicts through my job, and I'm having a hard time forgiving these people, I'm so sorry, but I just can't. It just boils my blood.
I know life is life, and life is messy, but none of that is the child's fault, and many would be better off not being born at all into the life their addicted mothers have laid out for them already.

The outcomes for the child are actually why children are often taken away, until mother gets off the drugs, then the child is returned.
It's not to torture anyone, but to prevent the child from even more harm than it's already going to experience. If getting back your child is not the best reason to stop drugs, I don't know what is.

This is used as a motivational tool, no doubt. Nobody wants drug-addicted parents, and I find thinking of the life the child will lead in a household where taking drugs recreationally is the day-to-day more painful than growing up with adoptive parents or even in a home(can't speak for other countries' homes ofc, but here they are pretty top notch)

If even getting back your own child isn't motivation enough to stop drugs, then maybe you should just take your drugs and let your child have a good life without you. Sorry. Very sorry. I know I'll get complaints again, not my intent to be mean, I just want to be honest here.

I've seen a lot of terrifying shit when it comes to drug addicted mothers, and it just kills me.
Just a few days ago I had a conversation with a patient who told me about discovering his mother's body after she OD'd.
He was about 5 years old. She was already dead.

Just, things to consider. It's not an unconsidered reaction, not by a longshot.

 

[Feretile]

Forgiving them?

That sentence fragment alone does not sound entirely positive. Every client is different and no blanket statement is true for all. I worked for Lifeline for over a decade so I have also seen a lot of very destructive behavior. OP has not given any information that his partner is doing anything other than trying to overcome opiate misuse disorder. It can happen in many ways, and many of them do not involve the person ever having broken any law or acted in any destructive manner.

There simply is no information to form an opinion which is why I have always qualified any statements.

Maybe things are different in other places but I always treated clients with respect and on the understanding that their had to be trust on both sides.

 

[December Flower]

Forgiving them?

That sentence fragment alone does not sound entirely positive. Every client is different and no blanket statement is true for all. I worked for Lifeline for over a decade so I have also seen a lot of very destructive behavior. OP has not given any information that his partner is doing anything other than trying to overcome opiate misuse disorder. It can happen in many ways, and many of them do not involve the person ever having broken any law or acted in any destructive manner.

There simply is no information to form an opinion which is why I have always qualified any statements.

Maybe things are different in other places but I always treated clients with respect and on the understanding that their had to be trust on both sides.

Forgiving them. I did say recreational use - actually I wrote it but you catch my drift.
and I wasn't speaking on the specific case, I was speaking on why children are taken away from addicts until they get their addiction under control.

Because, as you stated, there is not enough information to have an opinion here. I don't, this was directed at your comment, which was also speaking in a general way, not at OP or their girlfriend.

As you might remember you did write that the process of taking children away isn't thought-out, wait..the outcomes aren't being considered, that was your exact wording. That is solely what I answered to. That they are very much being considered, and that's why children are taken away.

 

[Feretile]

No, generally they are not, at least not in Europe - or, certainly NOT just because the mother is undertaking methadone treatment. The fact that it was stated that children are AUTOMATICALLY removed from the care of mothers under such treatment pretty well confirms that long term outcomes are not being considered.

You have carefully avoided mentioning your comment that you find it hard to forgive such people... which is telling.

 

[December Flower]

No, generally they are not, at least not in Europe - or, certainly NOT just because the mother is undertaking methadone treatment. The fact that it was stated that children are AUTOMATICALLY removed from the care of mothers under such treatment pretty well confirms that long term outcomes are not being considered.

You have carefully avoided mentioning your comment that you find it hard to forgive such people... which is telling.

Can you look through my post where I mention methadone, thank you?
I did say recreational, that means taking drugs "for fun"

And yes, children will be taken away from mothers if they are taking drugs "for fun" in Europe.
And it is those mothers who are taking drugs "for fun" I cannot forgive.

Everything cleared up now?

I have avoided nothing, you're interpreting.

I have likely misunderstood your post, though.

 

[Feretile]

If you read the ENTIRE THREAD you will see it concerns a specific BL member & a specific situation with a specific drug. Maybe our overarching statements are not based on the original question - as all of my relies were.

If unsure - look at the threat title. You have chosen to remain silent on the subject of how hard you find to forgive such people. I'm sure people will infer from that what they will.

 

[December Flower]

If you read the ENTIRE THREAD you will see it concerns a specific BL member & a specific situation with a specific drug. Maybe our overarching statements are not based on the original question - as all of my relies were.

dude, I'm ASD. You're telling me apples don't grow on bananas, I don't even understand what you are saying here.
You said it's not being considered, and I said, yes, it is being considered - if drugs are taken recreationally, whatever drug, the punishment will be harsh. If drugs are taken in form of treatment, punishment will be milder to non-existent.

Just because Methadone is in play does not necessarily mean it is treatment.
I took that into account.

I hope summarizing my thought process has helped, otherwise I'm likely to retreat from this situation

edit: reading the entire thread I'm realizing she slipped up taking heroin recreationally while being in methadone treatment.
So yes, the punishment would be harsh here in Europe as well. The methadone wasn't the issue.
Oops, bit stressed out, processor isn't working well

 

[stardust.hero]

Depending on the country/state they sometimes will automatically test for drug use. Meconium is often tested instead of urine or blood and can date back to the 2nd trimester (4-5 months). It’s not like a urine test where the drugs are eliminated after a few days.

It sounds like you and your family cares deeply for this baby and really are trying your hardest to do what’s best for them. Perhaps you can see if you can secure a safe location with you if/when they test and decide the mother needs treatment. Also calling around and setting up treatment for her and having her on the right track before birth will give you a much better chance.

 

[S.J.B.]

The outcomes are being considered, but anyone risking their child getting born addicted to drugs for recreational value should not be in charge of said child.

A child cannot be born addicted to drugs. The evidence that infants can be born with even physical dependence on opioids is weak. But even if that were occurring, that does not make them addicted.

 

[December Flower]

A child cannot be born addicted to drugs. The evidence that infants can be born with even physical dependence on opioids is weak. But even if that were occurring, that does not make them addicted.

if you're splitting hairs, yes i did mean dependant on
this is not my native language

 

[Nurse Ratched]

This post is 6 months old and OP never came back to update. The thread turned into a debate which isn't tolerated in TDS threads. You both made your point although if and when the OP had ever come back it probably wouldn't have been that supportive.

Closed.

And by both I meant December and Feretile. All others were okay.