You need more days recovering and not using ,if you can, aim to use once a week ,go crazy for 2-3 days and rest well/chill over the remaining days
You are dangerously close to really going off the deep end and losing yourself -addiction/paranoia/psychosis , I've been there and you won't realise your addicted until it's too late, denial is a hell of a thing
I'm with you buddy about these lockdowns, the damage and toll that will come as a direct result from the forced isolations/social distancing will be far greater than the covid toll, and even worse it wont be represented at all, despite the rapid rise in mental health /divorce rates /child abuse and.neglect/financial ruin/domestic violence/etc..
At least the numbers are going down !! They'll sau..We did the right thing in shutting down the entire world for an overhyped, over exaggerated/ fear driven 24/7 campaign,all in response to a virus that was kinda a like a bad flu season , tottaly justified in muzzling citizens and banning them from basic human needs of love and companionship, enforced by armed thugs to ensure compliance and ensure the continuation of a state of constant fear and anxoety
Ok fuck sorry rant over, stay safe dude and dont fall victim to this circumstance ,it's tempting to lean into that and have it as an excuse to say fuck it !whole world's fucked ,woe is me etc..but it's just as easy to turn the other way away and don't look back
Believe me boredom is better than ANY addiction