Getting Away from it All

[Soulgasm]

Hello beautiful people.

Lately, I've come to the realization that I need to take it easy for a while and become active in something that that will fascinate me and maybe remove me from this toxic city atmosphere. I'd really like to find some sort of trainee program that will take on someone with minimal experience and huge amounts of motivation. I am from the USA but am not opposed to something international (in fact, I would love that!) I grew up in an international environment and would blend quite well.

I have my bachelors in a subject a cannot see my self ever utilizing to a significant degree now and I feel my degree came about as a combination of family pressure and my boundless self medication to get through a course load that I, in fact, hated in hopes that my following career would somehow be different (it wouldn't, stupid, I know). I am at a loss to rectify this situation. I had a lot of unaddressed psychological issues growing up which led me to always do what was expected of me rather than following my passions. This, in turn led me down a nasty route of constantly neutralizing my disdain with the life I was living with whatever substance was most convenient and eventually left me with a poly-drug problem (which I have hidden from almost everyone in my life, always being smart about it). I just feel like I have wasted so much of my valuable life doing things that don't interest me. I'm sure everyone see's this to a certain degree in hindsight but, damn, it feels like I really fucked myself over here.

I have been working jobs I hate, eventually had to move back in with my parents at the ripe age of 25 in a city I hate, and am generally freaking the fuck out over my future now. I have been stupid and wasteful with the gifts that the universe has bestowed upon me, never really following my passions or what I loved (but those passions are so hard to find!). What I know is I do not want to spend another day chasing after something that does not draw my passion. I am presently unemployed and don't have a huge amount of money in the bank.


All rambling aside, I need to get away from this situation. I have assessed many options but come to you people in hopes that some ideas can be tossed around.

I thought about joining the peace corps for awhile. The large amount of waiting time to get in and some other entrance factors seems disconcerting but I would love to hear some experience if anyone has any.
I have a buddy that teaches English in China and loves it. However, I am far from fluent in any foreign languages and I don't know if China is the right place for me.
I would love to find a low key job in some sparsely populated beach town. I have some issues I need to work out (I've seen a psychiatrist,psychologist, etc. but it's more of a self-journey at this point) and it seems like this would be an ideal place for it. I love to surf and to wake up early and do yoga on the beach.
Finally, I'd love to get into some sort of trainee/development/rotational program to help me advance into a formidable skill set.

I really don't want to join the army or anything of that nature but I'm very open to physical labor.

So, what say you, is there any way for a perplexed quarter life man with dwindling funds and lost identity to get out there, tackle his demons, and find a rewarding career path? This might seem like escapism. Maybe it is.

My interests include:
Renewable Energy
Environmentalism
Helping those in Need
Eastern Philosophy
Music Culture!

I can save up some funds and work a shitty job to afford this life change but I just want to make sure it is something that I will truly enjoy and stick with.

Any input is appreciated. God Bless.

 

[ThePharmacist4925]

Dude. I'm in like the same exact fucking boat as you. It's almost uncanny. My life since high school has been a truly sad story. I hated college so I took a medical leave of absence after the first semester. Ended up on bad medications that made me really fuck up my personal life. Got off them. Worked at Starbucks, hated it so I went back for another fall semester at college. Hated it, got hooked on opiates and benzos. Failed out. Got sent to wilderness rehab. Got out and dove into opiates even worse. Mother found me in the process of committing suicide, was hospitalized. Got sober, played Magic the Gathering for a year competitively. Worked at Edible Arrangements as an assistant manager for 8 months. Started drinking and didn't stop for 6 weeks. Hospital Detox. Quit my job. Cashed in some of my trust. Blew $12,000 on opiates and other shit. Self-detox off opiates using alcohol. Drank until i was sent to a top 10 psych hospital. Got better, sent to after care in Los Angeles. Drank, got in trouble, drank, got in trouble. Started mechanics school, was horrible at it. Passed my classes for a year. Moved into my own apartment. Started drinking only at night, and not until I blacked out of anything or got sick or anything like that. The guy I shared my apartment with rat-ed me out to the after care program for drinking because he got caught smoking weed and didn't want it to look as bad. I was sent to a fucking stupid-ass $65,000 a month rehab that was such bullshit. Well I met some cool people and got a good doctor, moved into one of the rehabs houses. Got a dog. Got depressed. Stopped doing what the rehab told me. Stayed sober though. Rehab said I needed to start from the beginning at $65,000 a month again. My father was like, fuck that shit. I was invited to move back home. Moved back, my dog loves it here. Being at home is nice, but my mental health is deteriorating on all this medication. I'm being sent to a top psych hospital to fix my meds and do some class a therapy for a couple months pretty soon.

But after that I'll be in your shoes. I want a way out of this society. I'm smart but not allowed to use it because college degrees are like having a key into the workforce. I just want a little coffee shop/bar on the beach in Costa Rica. I'd also be willing to live in Hong Kong or Japan even though I don't know the languages. I'd also be happy on the Amalfi Coast in Italy or in an Austrian ski town. I would happily open a restaurant that served guilty pleasure food.

These guys in my small NJ town own a gas station, they are like late twenties or early thirties. They look so happy at work all the time taking care of customers and serving food. I'd love to own a small business like that.

I'd love to do soundtracks for movies.

Idk when I read your thread I just felt like we were in the same boat.

 

[jammin83]

Nice thread soulgasm!

Don't have any advice for you but seem to be on the same path as you and the pharmacist. Personally I'd love to just move out of this country and live simply. This capitalism game is eating away at me and sickened by American society in a lot of ways. Have to get a way! I would love to just be in Costa Rica or somewhere and just live a slow, simple life.

 

[Soulgasm]

Got sober, played Magic the Gathering for a year competitively.

I had to LOL at that. Well done man, that sounds like a good time.

I would like to partake in something like wilderness rehab just without the rehab and paying-out-the-ass part, maybe be a temp forest ranger or something.

I've been thinking of moving back up to Colorado recently if I could secure a job with decent pay that wasn't in metropolitan Denver. Living with my parents causes unnecessary anxiety (especially with all our opposing view) that plays a big factor in my (ab)use of psychiatric drugs. Man, if I could just get to a sustainable spot in life that I was genuinely happy with, I could put all this bullshit psychological stress and substance abuse to rest. Get away from this capitalism game and live a slow, simple life as jammin suggested. I think that's how most of humanity was meant to live. I've also been scoping out gigs in California and internationally. It's just so...difficult to find that spark to ignite the flames of my life. And, shit, one I find that, I'm done with opiates, I'm done with benzos, and I'm done with boozing my problems away. Everything will flow naturally and intuitively through a glorious postern of honest positive energy. That's how I picture it in my mind anyways .

We do sound similar pharmacist. Opening that perfect business in that perfect spot would be fucking magical. I've always thought about doin movie soundtracks as well. Seems like something I'd be good at.

My best wishes to you both. I'll keep ya on the update hopefully we can all find solace in what we do eventually. This hating your job thing is not for me. I'd rather go live off the land honestly.

brings to mind that fight club quote: " I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

The ironic part is that drugs are the perfect solution to this scenario but you gotta drive up on criminal enterprises, dodging cops in the hood, spending your life savings for the dope that only compounds the problems in the end.

The more I look at it, the more I come to believe that American society has sucked every meaningful and spiritual fragment of life away and replaced them with false idols: false religions, false beliefs in the merits of wealth, false notions of what it means to be a conscious being, and false images of what creates true happiness.

 

[-=SS=-]

Don't feel bad OP. I had one of the luckiest breaks a child could ask for in life and I was a straight A student until 15 (weed/alcohol).. no doubts I could have got into Oxford or Cambridge if I applied myself at the school I was at (one of the best private schools in the UK). I fluffed it, went to Uni, dropped out. Spent a year at home doing nothing/gaming/smoking. Got a shit job, saved up 5k, went back to Uni. Done a BSc and now finishing an MA. Assuming I actually get a job after finishing this career won't pay as much as anything I could have otherwise had if I hadn't pissed my time away in my teens.

Regardless I have largely given up on the belief of finding inner satisfaction through a job because at the end of the day this country/civilization is just a turd mountain festering in the sun. I'm still going to put my energy and passion towards bringing more joy into this world through my own personal work (writing, internet etc) and through trying to bre the best for other people in my life.. this means resolving my own troubles, being physically healthy, and finding peace with my self. My job will just be a means to an end. It has potential to offer some inner satisfaction but I won't be disappointed if it doesn't.. just so long as I'm not working more than 40 hours on a regular basis and have enough money to eat well and be content.

Your talk of surf and beach makes me think you're stressed/burned out and/or slightly depressed. No surprise if you live in a busy metropolitan area. I lived in central London for 3 years and that brought my anxiety right to the surface physically so now I fucking sweat under my arms at the slightest hint of stress.. sucks ass. Was fine before that. Get away from the city is my advice, until you're strong enough to face it every day (if you ever want to come back). Also your problems will follow you where ever you go.. paradise or not. The only way you'll be happy is if you face the shit inside yourself. First step.. no more substance use.. you'll never get the emotional shit and past trauma to the surface if you're abusing.

All the best.

 

[Soulgasm]

Regardless I have largely given up on the belief of finding inner satisfaction through a job because at the end of the day this country/civilization is just a turd mountain festering in the sun. I'm still going to put my energy and passion towards bringing more joy into this world through my own personal work (writing, internet etc) and through trying to bre the best for other people in my life.. this means resolving my own troubles, being physically healthy, and finding peace with my self. My job will just be a means to an end. It has potential to offer some inner satisfaction but I won't be disappointed if it doesn't.. just so long as I'm not working more than 40 hours on a regular basis and have enough money to eat well and be content.

Your talk of surf and beach makes me think you're stressed/burned out and/or slightly depressed. No surprise if you live in a busy metropolitan area. I lived in central London for 3 years and that brought my anxiety right to the surface physically so now I fucking sweat under my arms at the slightest hint of stress.. sucks ass. Was fine before that. Get away from the city is my advice, until you're strong enough to face it every day (if you ever want to come back). Also your problems will follow you where ever you go.. paradise or not. The only way you'll be happy is if you face the shit inside yourself. First step.. no more substance use.. you'll never get the emotional shit and past trauma to the surface if you're abusing.

All the best.

Thank you man, and I agree with all of this. I'm putting an end to the drugs, and this time there's some spiritual meaning behind it and it will (hopefully!) stick. I know it is impossible for me to maintain a balanced lifestyle while abusing drugs. Proven it time and time again. But I had to learn the hard way just like everyone does, *sigh. After this much necessary step, I need to really get to the root of my inability to cope and chase my true passions to perpetuate a lifestyle that I can be truly happy and mindful in. I just want to bring mountains of love into the world, make a difference to people who need it. Yeah, I love the city life, lived in huge metropolitan areas around the globe my whole life, but I feel that I really need some downtime now before coming back. You're completely correct in that I am stressed/burnt/slightlydepressed. It's a vicious cycle that must be broken by any means. And if that ain't all enough, I still gotta make the funds to kickstart this process. Good vibes to all.

 

[malakaix]

Sounds like quite a few of us in here are on the same wave-length.

So, what say you, is there any way for a perplexed quarter life man with dwindling funds and lost identity to get out there, tackle his demons, and find a rewarding career path? This might seem like escapism. Maybe it is.

I really dislike this term; escapism. I think it's relevant in certain situations but it's thrown around too freely whenever someone wants to radically change their lives, and it makes that person doubt themselves and their desire to change.. the way i see it is your not escaping.. your trying to find a way to 'move forward'. And sometimes that requires moving some place else.

You have a bachelors degree so your ahead of a lot of people, even if your not interested in that field. I have zero higher education, and I've moved back in with my parents at 25.. so yeah.. but i'm not sure i'll ever pursue formal higher education as I've become quite disillusioned with the current education system and job market, but i still read and educate myself.. sociology, philosophy, economics and psychology are my areas of interest.

I'm using the opportunity of moving back home to work and be serious about saving, i have a target amount i want to reach and a vague goal of establishing a small-business overseas in hospitality (I expect it to take roughly 3 years, in the mean time im developing my writing as a project to keep me focused). In my early twenties i traveled quite a bit and learned how to live with less, manage money and found more value in friendships and community, plus i lived in a few places for a short-term that i fell in love with and could see myself living there more permanently. It's amazing how little you need to be happy, if you love where you live and have great friends and are involved in the community in someway and have some project or passion to work on and build.. it replaces that insatiable desire for greater wealth and social status. I met some very inspiring people who basically moved off the grid and were living very modest lives on a small income but with much greater freedom and happiness.

I'm a bit like you in the sense that i want to be a part of something greater then myself (based off your interests) ie: helping others, been involved with people internationally, been a part of and addressing global issues. Some of the most interesting people i met were small-time traveling entrepreneurs who had carved out a niche for themselves online and worked and lived location independently, and another guy i met worked for a Minority Rights Group NGO which required him to travel to many places including Ukraine, Georgia and Armenia.

If you can avoid debt and manage your finances well.. it can provide the opportunity and freedom to live a more simple, minimalistic life that's geared towards other's rather then the self. I would really take advantage of living back at home and saving a bit of money, assuming your parents aren't too financially demanding.. in my case i initially saw it as a curse, but now i see it as an enormous opportunity to get organized and get ahead.

All the best.

 

[Soulgasm]

^Thanks man, really helpful stuff. Best of luck

Anyone have experience with TEFL/teaching English abroad?

 

[sigmond]

I can relate to everyone in this thread.

hope this isn't a derail.

=SS=
If you don't mind me asking..

Did you have to pay a lot for your BSc/MA in the UK?

I would like to study abroad but I cannot afford the colleges in the US. Unsure how I would be able to get into UNI in say France when for instance I can't be a foreign exchange student.

RE: TEFL.

I have no experience, from what I have read opportunities and qualifications really depend on where you would like to teach. (China/India would be a lot different than France/Italy/Brasil etc.)

 

[Daniel1309]

all i can say is that i can relate well to your problem.I am havin the same desire of changing path trying something different yet every solution i have thought off till now does seem like pure escapism.
hopefully we will figure things out
good luck

 

[-=SS=-]

Did you have to pay a lot for your BSc/MA in the UK?

I would like to study abroad but I cannot afford the colleges in the US. Unsure how I would be able to get into UNI in say France when for instance I can't be a foreign exchange student.

I got in to my BSc before the fees tripled to 9K a year, so I paid 3K a year on the loan system. Because I was 25 which put me in the mature student bracket I got 3K in grant money a year on top of the loan, which really helped. Paying for accommodation and food without that grant money wouldn't have been possible. Well it might but I'd be working/studying with no free time what so ever.

Because I got a 2:1 degree I was offered 1K off the MA fee. My parents are helping me with this one, and because I was good with my grant money I still had enough left in my account to cover food for the year. I had a friend who was working whilst trying to do the MA due to money.. had to stop because she was going to have a breakdown.

Do I think it's fair? Not a chance. So much debt just to have the chance of getting a graduate job position. My dad went to uni for free and got given grant money too. Some countries in the EU still cover the costs for students, I think Germany is one of them, and Scotland too (nationals only).

---

Someone asked about TEFL. I have a friend in Vietnam, Shanghai, and Lebanon. They all did the CELTA course rather than TEFL as it holds a bit more weight than the TEFL qualification. But it costs more too. I can't really advise so much.. but all I'll say is one of my friends has been abusing a lot of substances in the nation he's in due to easy availability. They have it so easy in that part of the world.. food is cheap, beer and cigs are cheap, sun and sand.. and yet he's blowing money on substances when he should be going clean and taking the opportunity to completely de-stress before he comes home for good (because it's not something you really want to do for more than a few years)

 

[sigmond]

I got in to my BSc before the fees tripled to 9K a year, so I paid 3K a year on the loan system. Because I was 25 which put me in the mature student bracket I got 3K in grant money a year on top of the loan, which really helped. Paying for accommodation and food without that grant money wouldn't have been possible. Well it might but I'd be working/studying with no free time what so ever.

Because I got a 2:1 degree I was offered 1K off the MA fee. My parents are helping me with this one, and because I was good with my grant money I still had enough left in my account to cover food for the year. I had a friend who was working whilst trying to do the MA due to money.. had to stop because she was going to have a breakdown.

Do I think it's fair? Not a chance. So much debt just to have the chance of getting a graduate job position. My dad went to uni for free and got given grant money too. Some countries in the EU still cover the costs for students, I think Germany is one of them, and Scotland too (nationals only).

---

Someone asked about TEFL. I have a friend in Vietnam, Shanghai, and Lebanon. They all did the CELTA course rather than TEFL as it holds a bit more weight than the TEFL qualification. But it costs more too. I can't really advise so much.. but all I'll say is one of my friends has been abusing a lot of substances in the nation he's in due to easy availability. They have it so easy in that part of the world.. food is cheap, beer and cigs are cheap, sun and sand.. and yet he's blowing money on substances when he should be going clean and taking the opportunity to completely de-stress before he comes home for good (because it's not something you really want to do for more than a few years)

Where I live tuition rates can run from 40-60k on average for a private college. I have spoken to many people who ended up paying over 200k for a B.S.