U
Unregistered 2107
Guest
I'm 18
When I was 12 my voice broke, shortly after I found myself staring at a kid in my class. Turns out it was another boy.
I always convinced myself I was straight, and ended up dating a girl I didn't remotely like because I didn't want to feel different.
I started high school at 13. I had another moment of reflection when a dude in my class asked who the hottest girl was. I realised I wasn't even looking because I was busy staring at other dudes.
It stretched to my other classes. Some dudes I could barely sit next to because I was so attracted to them. I ended up suppressing my feelings so much I ended up being 'sexually numb' because I really had a huge crush on my best friend, it was so crazy I couldn't make eye contact, literally some of my hardest moments. I still haven't allowed myself to be attracted to anyone even to this day. I was 14
I'm not some poof. I'm a 6'4 athlete. I had a girlfriend last year. Her name was Susannah. I couldn't even let myself love her, but I knew I also wasn't attracted to her. I was 17.
I can't admit to myself my feelings, I'm still numb. I'm frustrated, I'm annoyed. I don't try suppress my feeling with drugs or alcohol, even though I do smoke green and drink quite a bit. Even recently I made it with a chick, she wanted to go upstairs but I knew I wouldn't be able to fuck her cause my dick won't go. Or it might've, I didn't want to try.
There's a girl that is absolutely amazing. So sweet, beautiful and the person I love. But I hate myself to death because she likes me, but I can't find her attractive. She is literally an angel so beautiful it's unbelievable. And yet I can't love her like I want to.
I've been with four different girls, and loved none of them.
I'm 18
When I was 12 my voice broke, shortly after I found myself staring at a kid in my class. Turns out it was another boy.
I always convinced myself I was straight, and ended up dating a girl I didn't remotely like because I didn't want to feel different.
I started high school at 13. I had another moment of reflection when a dude in my class asked who the hottest girl was. I realised I wasn't even looking because I was busy staring at other dudes.
It stretched to my other classes. Some dudes I could barely sit next to because I was so attracted to them. I ended up suppressing my feelings so much I ended up being 'sexually numb' because I really had a huge crush on my best friend, it was so crazy I couldn't make eye contact, literally some of my hardest moments. I still haven't allowed myself to be attracted to anyone even to this day. I was 14
I'm not some poof. I'm a 6'4 athlete. I had a girlfriend last year. Her name was Susannah. I couldn't even let myself love her, but I knew I also wasn't attracted to her. I was 17.
I can't admit to myself my feelings, I'm still numb. I'm frustrated, I'm annoyed. I don't try suppress my feeling with drugs or alcohol, even though I do smoke green and drink quite a bit. Even recently I made it with a chick, she wanted to go upstairs but I knew I wouldn't be able to fuck her cause my dick won't go. Or it might've, I didn't want to try.
There's a girl that is absolutely amazing. So sweet, beautiful and the person I love. But I hate myself to death because she likes me, but I can't find her attractive. She is literally an angel so beautiful it's unbelievable. And yet I can't love her like I want to.
I've been with four different girls, and loved none of them.
I'm 18