• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: axe battler | xtcgrrrl | arrall

Funny sex stories

F

firevixen7

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
2
I read on google some good ones on here so I signed up just to make a topic. Does anyone have any funny sex stories? I have a few but will share if someone else does. ?
 
That wasn't funny, that was just sad....

I don't have any 'funny' stories, just stories that are kinda embarassing or lame

One was when I was living with my boyfriends family and his mother (then separated) found a used condom in the garbage, that was... awkward, for all involved (she was initially told we were just friends, true at the time it was said, but come on shed had to have been naive to think nothing else could happen between her son and his otherwise homeless female friend sharing the bunk bed).

The other even lamer one was when I was in bed with a guy and got a text from my dad, whom I hate, and i jokingly wrote a reply saying something like "leave me alone i'm busy with a naked guy in my bed", no it didn't get accidently sent, I immediately deleted it. Told you it was lame...

I just know this is one of those posts i will later regret tomorrow when i'm not high.
 
JessFR said:
That wasn't funny, that was just sad....

I don't have any 'funny' stories, just stories that are kinda embarassing or lame

One was when I was living with my boyfriends family and his mother (then separated) found a used condom in the garbage, that was... awkward, for all involved (she was initially told we were just friends, true at the time it was said, but come on shed had to have been naive to think nothing else could happen between her son and his otherwise homeless female friend sharing the bunk bed).

The other even lamer one was when I was in bed with a guy and got a text from my dad, whom I hate, and i jokingly wrote a reply saying something like "leave me alone i'm busy with a naked guy in my bed", no it didn't get accidently sent, I immediately deleted it. Told you it was lame...

I just know this is one of those posts i will later regret tomorrow when i'm not high.
Click to expand...

Woah... Contraception..
my story did get a little funny. I wasn't satified with a kiss so I paid her 10$ to let me do foot fetish stuff on her. I rubbed her feet about my face, I licked them, sniffed them, rubbed them against my dick and there... This is on top of the other 10$ I paid her for vicodin.
She made 25$
 
i tell y'all a story...

me and my boo were at backstreets, distributing UFOs (capsule with DXM and hash powder) to the fortunate, just loafing around. later, just outside, got into it again about the beat poets. see, my bf was a ginsberg fanboy, and i just hate that mess.somehow we draw in another: he's a bit short, stocky, blonde, well kept, cute, and he has to put his two cents in about Kerouac. fuck - they only let jack in cause he was a cutie, i say, and it goes on from there.he invites us up to his apartment, which only blocks aways, and we, being agents of CCC, know to go. his apartment is WEIRD - and very well done. there's a settee and a skinny dog to sit on it. ultra chic. so we talk some more and he says we can crash on his couch and we do. next morning, morning wood - me and my bf are making out, naked, and he glides to the edge of the room - he knows he's welcome to participate, that was established earlier, but instead he retreats and returns with an old fashioned camera and starts taking our pics. okay, fine - strike a pose. this goes on for a while until his landline rings...and rings and the answering machine picks it up - announcing to us and the caller that we're in the house of chi chi larue, an absurdly famous (to fags) directors of gay porn who usually goes around in drag......i was like, bitch, YOU BUSTED. and we all laughed at how silly we were. then he shooed us out, end of story.
 
for a bit of a giggle, when i was playing with my girlfriends vajayjay, i asked her if she'd ever been fisted. she seemed up for it so i had a go. got all my fingers in, but couldnt quite manage it. when i pulled out my hand it was covered in brown, congealed blood!!

she must have been on her period a few days before. i shrieked thinking she was dying, but she was just rolling around laughing her head off.

the firt time i had sex, i tried to go down on the girl first and just started licking her pubes and everything. %)
 
One time my ex was doing me and when he thrusted in he farted really loud. Lol

Another time this dude were on some shit, he was doing me doggy in the floor and I fell forwards into the garbage can. So there I am naked and covered in garbage and sex juice.

I'm a rotten peach ;p
 
All of you have a sex story. But i am saying unfortunately that i have no sex experience even in kiss.8)
 
joya said:
All of you have a sex story. But i am saying unfortunately that i have no sex experience even in kiss.8)
Click to expand...

Your time will come! Maybe you will have a funny sex story afterwards.. Idk what your gender is but maybe fumbling for the hole? If you are female maybe you'll queef in their face? We never know what the future holds..
 
joya said:
All of you have a sex story. But i am saying unfortunately that i have no sex experience even in kiss.8)
Click to expand...

I dunno how old you are, but it's worth keeping in mind, that's true of everyone until the day it's not anymore. There's no telling the future, even the most mundane and predictable life can change drastically and forever in a moment.
 
When I was 16, I took my x girlfriend at the time who happened to be from Poland to this spot to fuck in my truck. It was on top of a dirt hill in a developing part of town that you wouldn't expect ANYONE to be roaming around. It was early afternoon (2pm/14:00) and I was railing her in the back of my extended cab. I made her yell at me in Polish because well, why not? So as this is going on (I had super dark tint, but my windows were cracked a little for air), she was screaming how do you like it in Polish, and all of a sudden I hear knocking on the window saying "get the hell out of here you perverts before I call the cops! Now!" as her German Shepard is barking like it is going to attack us. We were both only 16 and scared shitless so I jump up butt as naked in a panic, start my truck, and almost drive off the hill naked with her in my back seat busting up laughing with her legs still up. Good times. I miss being a dumb ass kid.
 
pokepoke420 said:
When I was 16, I took my x girlfriend at the time who happened to be from Poland to this spot to fuck in my truck. It was on top of a dirt hill in a developing part of town that you wouldn't expect ANYONE to be roaming around. It was early afternoon (2pm/14:00) and I was railing her in the back of my extended cab. I made her yell at me in Polish because well, why not? So as this is going on (I had super dark tint, but my windows were cracked a little for air), she was screaming how do you like it in Polish, and all of a sudden I hear knocking on the window saying "get the hell out of here you perverts before I call the cops! Now!" as her German Shepard is barking like it is going to attack us. We were both only 16 and scared shitless so I jump up butt as naked in a panic, start my truck, and almost drive off the hill naked with her in my back seat busting up laughing with her legs still up. Good times. I miss being a dumb ass kid.
Click to expand...

Lol shiiit.

I've been caught fucking in a graveyard before but it wasn't really that funny, spent the night in jail and all that. The sex was good though until we were so rudely interrupted.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top