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First time sex with a woman

Survival0200 said:
I met this really nice woman and we ended up kissing and hugging. Then she said se wants to have sex. I said okay, let's do it. But when I put the condom on, it really killed my erection and I really couldn't get my penis up and I told her I'm too nervous to do this now. She was okay with it, but I was sooooo embrassed. Please tell me I'm not the only one this has happened to.
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This shit happens. Our bodies are not machines.

Besides most women don't get the best pleasure out of penetration anyway, but instead from oral. Unless she's built for it (ie clit very close to vaginal opening) she won't get maximum stimulation from penetrative intercourse, because no part of you is directly in contact with her most sensitive bit. And this, fellow gentlemen, has ZERO to do with your skill, or lack thereof. It's purely physical. (Think somebody trying to give you a blowjob on the shaft only without ever touching the tip.)
Forget about the porn - induced idea of your dick having to be this almighty satisfier that'll make her twitch in ecstasy the moment you stick it in, and learn good oral technique. That way you know you can always bring her off even when your anatomy refuses to behave like an on-demand dildo.
 
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Eligiu said:
Read it again. I mentioned STIs being a problem before pregnancy.
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You seem to have misunderstood something. Of course i noticed your mentioning STD/STI's. Otherwise i wouldn't have mentioned them myself. You brought it up, and i responded.

But whatever. This sidetrack doesn't seem to be helping OP.
 
Also, straight - up just ASK her; what does she like in bed, how she likes it. Too many guys think that's somehow an admission of inadequacy, when instead it shows consideration and that you care about pleasing your partner. Let her tell / show you what gets her off.
 
What if my penis won't work even next time? :( So much pressure after the failed first attempt.

Should I be wondering about getting a Viagra prescription or something like that?
 
Survival0200 said:
What if my penis won't work even next time? :( So much pressure after the failed first attempt.

Should I be wondering about getting a Viagra prescription or something like that?
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When I was in college, I once had a period of time where I had trouble getting fully erect when I wasn't at least partially drunk. Kind of odd since too much booze can cause limpdick, but I think my problem was I got psychologically dependent on a lowering of inhibition when I'd been drinking. I don't fully know. But after some practice, I eventually got over it to where I could get hard when sober as well.

I would heed everyone's advice who are telling you to increase your prowess with the oral sex. Learn how to satisfy a woman's clitoris with your tongue and mouth to where she orgasms, and she will prolly be happier to work with you and be patient with your erection issue. But if you make it all about you and your penis, a girl could potentially feel you aren't interested in satisfying her needs and she may lose interest in having sex with you in the future. IMHO reciprocity is key to a healthy and fulfilling sex life.
 
Jerry Atrick said:
When I was in college, I once had a period of time where I had trouble getting fully erect when I wasn't at least partially drunk. Kind of odd since too much booze can cause limpdick, but I think my problem was a lowering of inhibition when I'd been drinking. I don't fully know. But after some practice, I eventually got over it to where I could get hard when sober as well.

I would heed everyone's advice who are telling you to increase your prowess with the oral sex. Learn how to satisfy a woman's clitoris with your tongue and mouth to where she orgasms, and she will prolly be happier to work with you and be patient with your erection issue. But if you make it all about you and your penis, a girl could potentially feel you aren't interested in satisfying her needs and she may lose interest in having sex with you in the future. IMHO reciprocity is key to a healthy and fulfilling sex life.
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Real Life Truth GIF
 
Survival0200 said:
Nooooo! Shit, I did it again. I just couldn't get it up even when I was licking her down there. This is not nice anymore. :( Thinking of getting some Viagra.
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You're in the vicious circle now 😕 May as well get the Viagra.. It's ridiculously easy to get because men's erectile problems are SOOO important 🙄

But too much pressure!! Women really don't expect orgasms all the time.
 
Survival0200 said:
I met this really nice woman and we ended up kissing and hugging. Then she said se wants to have sex. I said okay, let's do it. But when I put the condom on, it really killed my erection and I really couldn't get my penis up and I told her I'm too nervous to do this now. She was okay with it, but I was sooooo embrassed. Please tell me I'm not the only one this has happened to.
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Err,
This didn't happen to me on my first time since I didn't use a CONDOM. But if it makes u feel better, I didn't last too long....and yes, I got her pregnant. 🤦🏼
 
Is it possible, that if you've been alone for many years (=masturbated for many years), it's hard or even impossible to do it with another person?
 
Survival0200 said:
Is it possible, that if you've been alone for many years (=masturbated for many years), it's hard or even impossible to do it with another person?
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I've heard of that but I'm sure it's something you can get over.

As to your original question-- yeah, that happened to me my first time and it caused me problems for years afterward.

I was always a serial monogamist so it wasn't really an issue, since all my gfs were on the pill (or tubes tied) anyway.

In my 40s I got on Viagra and never looked back. Great drug.
 
Survival0200 said:
Nooooo! Shit, I did it again. I just couldn't get it up even when I was licking her down there. This is not nice anymore. :( Thinking of getting some Viagra.
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IMHO I guess if viagra is what it takes, try it. However, I would consider it more like training wheels until you get some experience and confidence under your belt. Once you get over the hump, I think you should be able to perform without medication.

As for the masturbation aspect, how often do you jerk it? Maybe try laying off for a few days before trying again with your partner. You prolly won't last long but that's okay, go again after you recover in 10 minutes.

Also, what kind of porn do you watch? May wanna avoid the extreme dominatrix anal fisting gangbang porn and just look at the romantic monogamous stuff. YMMV

FYI when I was in my early late teens - 20s, I got laid all the time and jerked off like twice a day. Once your sex drive gets up there, frequent masturbation is somewhat normal and prolly won't hurt your sexual performance very much.
 
With practice and confidence(and enough testosterone? Lol) you can get to a point where once you are hard, and with a girl you wanna have sex with, you aren't going to be soft until you cum.

This is my experience. For me if I'm in the right mindspace there is no problem putting a condom on while hard and eating a girl out for 5 minutes, and still be hard and ready to penetrate.

However if I've jerked off a few times that day, or I've already had sex, or I'm stressing about a bunch of shit with deadlines or something like that then staying hard is more difficult. It isn't auto pilot, it has to be played with a little bit and I have to mentally activate it a smidge.

Basically my answer to most issues llke this is try to be more horny. Reduce or stop taking any kind of recreational drug that dulls sexual urges if that's part of it. Stop jerking off or watching porn. And when you are with the girl, feel her up. Eat her out. Get horny for some sweet ass pussy.

Try giving her a massage and feeling up her body. Always a good way to have fun and get aroused.

A few questions for you.. Are you attracted to this girl? Is there something off putting about her or the situation to you? Doubts or fears about hooking up with her?

And what is your sex drive normally like. How much do you jerk off.
 
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