first post here this might sound pathetic

[pillman1224]

so ill keep the drug talk to a minimum cause it is involved in the questions i have about relationships. right now my problem is with the ladies. i got back into pot over a month ago and im loosing connects/interest in opiates see they made me productive but this has happened before i was doing more than i should. i should also mention i could go back to opis if needed the wds and tolerance keep me from over doing it. all leave it at that.

im a 19 y/o male im not the greatest looking guy but i got over that and realized its all about confidence as my friends told me. not horrible but i dont really know how to rate guys maybe a 6 thats a shot in the dark. my first gf was in 6th grade. only kissed few times lasted 4 months. second and third were mostly when i was using heavy in the 7th and 8th grade (pot,benzos,opiates,alcohol order differed daily also soom good rolls). i dont want to count these as i was nodded the fuck out when i asked the last 2 out.

how do i do about this sober? i attend college part time with no legit job as of right now but the more stoned i get the more i want a job so thats good opiates just make me productive period. but when im in a relationship i hardly if any use the last girl and i just straight partied with but were exclusive and did some sober stuff its just i was making to much at the time for an eighth grader too put in the bank. so my money went to 'investment weed" that i smoked, pills maybe oxy as i had a 200mg a day habit with a not gonna say price but cheap asf source, and my the rest went to buying my girl gifts.

sexually- farthest bj but answer this as im a virgin and all sexual experience again happened 5 years ago. no intercourse yet but i wouldnt mind getting some more experience before finding a relationship, think party atmosphere. (if yer in it for that community college sucks very few parties and limited access and most girls are taken. but i might be able to get in as i have friends on the sports teams).

question- please read above if ya can and help a fellow bler out i tried last semester but she was deciding on leaving her fiance but got back together even though i was "i lapdog to her" a friend thats a girl told me that so it must be true FUCK IT I GOT FRIENDZONED she got back with him. still talk. this happened yesterday a girl 22 blonde i would say attractive and a 2 year clean h addict. shes in my ethics class and i couldnt see if she had a current bf on Facebook so when we went for a smoke i shifted the convo and found out she has a guy. i question whether or not i had a chance and with proper confidence how do i ask out a girl sober ive been told im too nice. i dont have it in me too treat a girl like shit. and pls leave the be yourself stuff everyone is telling me that. sorry for the long post had alot to say.

edit- i have never had a girl say that she loved me i dont know if that is pertinent information

 

[gmlifer]

The biggest part for me was getting over the fear of rejection. After that it was just nutting up and asking if they want to go for some dinner or a movie or whatever else they might be interested in.

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

Ok, so first, I want to talk about this:

how do i do about this sober? i attend college part time with no legit job as of right now but the more stoned i get the more i want a job so thats good opiates just make me productive period.

You are going to college part time, and have all this time to get high, yet don't have a job. You want a job, supposedly and that's because you do drugs? Drugs make you want a job? How is that working out since you... don't have a job? I'm just trying to understand your logic. If drugs were doing such a great job motivating you, why don't you have a job especially since you're only going to college part-time?

You want a girl. Girls like MEN, not boys, not drug addicts with no responsibility, MEN, responsible MEN with job security, motivation, determination, and GOALS. SO maybe you should focus back on yourself, getting through college, working, cutting down on the drugs, and then the girl will come into your life. I don't think you are ready for a girl, how can you take care of someone else when you can't even take care of yourself?

I disagree with previous advice you've gotten, don't just be yourself, improve yourself and be a better version of yourself.

 

[pillman1224]

Ok, so first, I want to talk about this:

You are going to college part time, and have all this time to get high, yet don't have a job. You want a job, supposedly and that's because you do drugs? Drugs make you want a job? How is that working out since you... don't have a job? I'm just trying to understand your logic. If drugs were doing such a great job motivating you, why don't you have a job especially since you're only going to college part-time?

You want a girl. Girls like MEN, not boys, not drug addicts with no responsibility, MEN, responsible MEN with job security, motivation, determination, and GOALS. SO maybe you should focus back on yourself, getting through college, working, cutting down on the drugs, and then the girl will come into your life. I don't think you are ready for a girl, how can you take care of someone else when you can't even take care of yourself?

I disagree with previous advice you've gotten, don't just be yourself, improve yourself and be a better version of yourself.

actually i am improving. going to gym, no opis 7 days which is ALOT for me. actually drugs (weed for now and the benzos for sleep) is and you are right i was in a fucked up depressed place when this was written. thanks for the advice basically to the tee what i was thinking today.

believe me my non-legit job is a job.

 

[alasdairm]

The biggest part for me was getting over the fear of rejection.

that is such an odd concept. what's the alternative - every single woman you ever ask out in your life will swoon and jump into your arms? if nothing else, it's a rather unrealistic idea.

you shouldn't fear rejection. you should embrace it. if somebody doesn't want to be with you - isn't interested in you - why would you want to be with them?

alasdair

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

actually i am improving. going to gym, no opis 7 days which is ALOT for me. actually drugs (weed for now and the benzos for sleep) is and you are right i was in a fucked up depressed place when this was written. thanks for the advice basically to the tee what i was thinking today.

believe me my non-legit job is a job.

That's good. No opiates for a week, that's good. Just make sure that you don't over do it on the weed and benzos. Do you have insurance? have you thought about seeing a therapist for just extra support? The fact that you can admit that you were in a fucked up, depressed place is a good thing; however, the fact that it was only 2 days ago is a bit concerning! I think that you really should focus on yourself and your sobriety before trying to look for girls. Once you have your shit together, you'd be surprised what type of girls come into your life.

Also, if you want to start building a future, you probably should think about getting a "LEGIT" job.

 

[Steroids]

Look at it this way- You automatically miss 100% of the chances you do not take. So by building up confidence and talking to her, asking her out etc is automatically better odds of her liking you then as if you did not approach her/talk to her..
The worst they will say is they are not interested, they have a boyfriend, ect. That's when you smile, and say okay, have a good day ! It's their loss, not yours. Remember that.

 

[pillman1224]

Look at it this way- You automatically miss 100% of the chances you do not take. So by building up confidence and talking to her, asking her out etc is automatically better odds of her liking you then as if you did not approach her/talk to her..
The worst they will say is they are not interested, they have a boyfriend, ect. That's when you smile, and say okay, have a good day ! It's their loss, not yours. Remember that.

thanks man i needed that. i think of was just thinking of myself (which when you have a 6 year opiate addiction you do quite a lot. i dont plan on using as of right now its one day at a time. ) im thinking now if they are not interested IT IS their loss because i like i said i do not have it in me to be a dick to a girl or anyone else for that matter some people piss me off i get them out of my life its that simple. already done it today just gotta figure out how to block a number from texting you on a samsung galaxy 4.