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First Experiences with the Opposite Sex

N

Ninae

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 18, 2010
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A lot of suppressed memories have come up since I've stopped taking sedatives and some are quite funny. They just freaked me out so much at the time.

- In the second grade, I sat with another girl across two boys and one day one of the boys said about the other, "He has a crush on one of you, and it's either Nina or Lena, and it's not Lena." I was so mortified, by my best friend said it wasn't like I had a crush on him, so I suppressed it.

- In summer camp, when I was 8-9, there was a fat boy with red hair who was about 12 and also had a nasty temper who everyone called Barrels. We were all scared of him, but one day someone said "Barrels wants to talk to you", so I went and he shouted "DO YOU WANT TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND?" so I said "No..." and he yelled "WHY NOT?". I blacked out after that but it was traumatic.

- One of the times that sticks out is when I was abut 14 and went with my friend to an area with some skaters, because she was interested in one of them, and then one of them got interested in me and would come and sit and stare intensely at me on the stairs. He was kind of short and good-looking, with dark hair and blue eyes, and looked like something out of Omen.

But that's just some of the ones that made a scar on my mind. Interactions with the opposite sex at a young age are really awkward.
 
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Ninae said:
But that's just some of the ones that made a scar on my mind. Interactions with the opposite sex at a young age are really awkward.
Click to expand...

You have an impressive memory; i can't remember much about my interaction with the opposite sex when young.. actually i remember one scenario, when i was 7 years old i was in school and sitting next to a girl that seemed to crave attention, was very demanding, bossy and outspoken.. one afternoon she asked me a question about the work and then in the most random act imaginable, slaps me across the face and then says 'I have no idea why i did that, im sorry! it just happened!'.

I just sat there stunned.. of course in retrospect if could of been a childish form of affection, but i often wonder if it left an impact on my view of the opposite sex.. i mostly avoided women up until 17/18, but since that point i've been in many relationships and had many flings.

The worst scarring for me was interaction with the opposite sex while on psychedelics, been overtly aware of the not so subtle displays of seduction with body language, eye contact and mannerisms.. it almost seemed disgusting, because that desire was so visible. This has messed with me, if a woman is been aggressively flirtatious with me while im sober it does sometimes trigger that memory and i start going through that cycle of anxiety again, this could be a reason in why i prefer to be the pursuer because it gives me more control over the situation and the outcome.
 
being born would have been my first experience... but the first memory i have was when i was 3 or 4 and i had the last juice box and i shared it with my little sister....
 
i had a boyfriend? when i was like in the third grade-5th grade, we kept it on the downlow tho, we never kissed.. just went and gave eachother head after school in the cardboard dumpster. We had invited someone else into the blowjobs, but the dude snitched me and my boyfriend out, someone came to the school to talk to me that what i was doing was wrong, and if his mom wanted to she could press charges. my 'boyfriend' ended up moving and i repressed that memory. until now lol
 
Had this little crisps promotional toy teddy bear when I was back in primary school at 11-12. The girls loved it for some reason. This girl who sat next to me in class apparently stuck it up her skirt one day during lunch break. Another borrowed it/took it home for a couple of days. Totally oblivious to the whole thing at that age haha.

When I was 15/16 I came home early from a family holiday and had the house to myself for a week. I invited my best friend over and her friend. At some point they both ended up in their underwear, and eventually we all ended up in my parents massive bed. Being the total dork that I was I had no idea what was being presented to me. Everyone I've told the story to just laughs. Could have had a threesome with those girls.. would have been an interesting first sexual experience!
 
I think the worst for me was when I was 9 and walking home from the dentist. I was big for my age so I looked older and had long blond hair. There was some boys playing in a field, maybe around 12, and they started whistling to me. I had no idea what that was all about and just ignored them. Then they shouted "stuck-up" so I turned and looked at them and then they shouted "conceited". I was just shocked and didn't understand what it was all about because I was still living in a childhood world.
 
I think the worst for me was when I was 9 and walking home from the dentist. I was big for my age so I looked older and had long blond hair. There were some boys playing in a field, maybe around 12, and they started whistling at me. I had no idea what that was all about and just ignored them. Then they shouted "stuck-up" so I turned and looked at them and they shouted "conceited". I was just shocked and didn't understand what it was all about because I was still living in a childhood world.

Also, my cousin, when I was about six and he was about seven. He'd obviously got some advice from my uncle, as he started this routine with kissing my hand and saying "May I take you to bed my fair". I just thought he was being completely stupid.
 
This one time in Band camp? Can we change it to first time experiences?
 
My earliest crush that I remember was Paige. I danced with her at my aunt's wedding, for a second. I forget how we were put together, but it was probably adults. I was wearing a suit, and she was wearing a little light blue dress, with white, I think. I must have been 5... She left within a minute, saying she would be back. I think she was shy. So was I. I spent the rest of the time looking for her (keeping my eyes open for her). I remember my uncle Scott saying "Do you like top-hats? Paige likes top-hats.", as I kept my eyes out for her. I think her family may have actually left shortly then... But I don't know. I just didn't find her.

I had a crush on her for a long time, after that. We lived in the same town. I'd always look for her at basketball games, and football games... The search/wait didn't end from that day at the wedding. I had a taste. Van Halen reminded me of her. Old Guns -n- Roses. Her dad was involved with helping the high school band, taught drumming and owned a drum and dance studio with his wife... So they were involved. I always watched for her- the chance to see her. To be in contact again. I rarely actually did, but I... Chased for years... Stalking basically, from afar. Looking for her. She was a year ahead of me. Went to a different school.

In the fifth grade, or so, I went on a field trip and she was there. Harlem Boy's Choir. She was there on the bus with us. My reaction was to start slapping myself in the face and banging my head into the window (See Martin Short in the movie, 'Innerspace'), saying "brain damage" over and over again. Wanted to get her to notice me, and entertain, and show that I can take pain. My friend Michael imitated everything I did/joined in the fun, and also crushed after this girl when I showed her to him. This was years into the making... So beautiful was she. *Gasp*... "What do I do??".

Got the music hall, and Paige was placed next to me by the teachers. Wow. A concert now with the girl I've been searching for for years. I wanted to hold her hand.

In intermission, we three hung out. She just walked with us, and she remembered me, which made me feel good. And it turned out she liked me, and wasn't interested in Michael, a blond haired blue eyed friend- like her, who I had considered a more likely match for her. So her paying attention to me, focused on me, smiling at me, was a big boost. I may not be remembering everything, but I seem to remember her being welcoming of some kind of contact between us. Her head edged near my shoulder, I think. The body language was "in", "one".

Anyways, that's one.

But I guess before her, I tackled a girl in church when I was 4 or so, named Heather, and kissed her. I saw it in a movie I think. She laughed/smiled.
 
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oh man the night i lost my virginity was the same night i took my first mdma pill. was such a magical night i got the press tattooed on me. was hard to get hard for obvious reasons but i did it. she said i was pretty good for a virgin lol. she wasnt one. just a friend of a friend who showed up at a small rolling party. i got a condom but i took it off halfway.
 
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