Finally Had An Ego Death Yesterday

[Jabberwocky]

Very interesting.
I had an ego death when I combined lots of LSD with ketamine.
Like 500-600ug of LSD and 100-150mg of IM ketamine.
It was one of the best experiences in my life, but I really can't explain what happened. It's impossible.
I don't know what was the place where it was just being, I don't think I was there. I was the place, without me being there.
I don't understand the experience, but I remember having a friend do it with me. I was laying in bed and he was laying in floor.
We woke up around same time, both of us said that it was great experience, but couldn't tell what the experience really was.
We hugged each other and said that it was amazing. Gay.

 

[G_Chem]

Very interesting.
I had an ego death when I combined lots of LSD with ketamine.
Like 500-600ug of LSD and 100-150mg of IM ketamine.
It was one of the best experiences in my life, but I really can't explain what happened. It's impossible.
I don't know what was the place where it was just being, I don't think I was there. I was the place, without me being there.
I don't understand the experience, but I remember having a friend do it with me. I was laying in bed and he was laying in floor.
We woke up around same time, both of us said that it was great experience, but couldn't tell what the experience really was.
We hugged each other and said that it was amazing. Gay.

Experiences like these can be very difficult, if not impossible to put into words so I understand. The feeling of losing the “I” and becoming “We.” Or for some it feels like their entire being is spread across the entire universe. Or for me, sometimes there’s just.. nothing..

My strongest ego loss experience was my one and only time trying a 20x Salvia Extract. Burned down an entire bowl to myself intended for everyone there accidentally.

All I remember is saying “this shits fucking me up man” as my entire world spun into a vortex. And then nothing.. Black. I didn’t exist, nothing existed. Maybe that’s what Death really is, a blank bunch of nothingness.

Then off in the distance, something. A bright white light as if staring down a long train tunnel. I still didn’t exist, all that existed was this light.

It started to get closer and closer, as it did I saw what it was. It was a view from the top corner of the room, I could see my body flailing like a person having a seizure on the bed while my friend hid herself in the corner not sure what to do.

As soon as I realized that was “me” I rushed back into my body and stood up like I’d just woken up. My hands were deformed into a C shape and I couldn’t move them, I yelled at my friend “Don’t do it” lol. The rest is uneventful.

In that experience I went straight to Ego Loss, there was zero time for an Ego Death, the transition was near instantaneous. That’s why I again feel Ego Death is really only a form of Ego Loss and not always necessary to get to that stage of no longer being “you.”

A side note; what I saw from the corner of the room is exactly what was happening too. IRL, my body was damn near bouncing on the bed as I flopped like a fish repeating like a lunatic “this shits fucking me up, this shits fucking me up” lol.

-GC

 

[couldbesojs]

I had a similar thing happen where I thought I was over dosing because of an maio interaction of drugs during a Changa experience.

I was at a psytrance gathering / rave event deep in the woods and had taken ~400ug of LSD with some MDMA and ketamine and stayed up all night dancing. Around sunrise I pulled out 2 8mg caps of 2C-P, I'd never taken it before and took one with a new friend of mine. Little orbs were flying all over and things were getting a bit out of hand. He asked me if I've ever been scared for my sanity and said yes, to which he gave a huge shit eating grin. My new friend was an older dude and he was absolutely ridiculous. After another few hours of dancing we were wandering through the woods and came into the sanctuary area looking for rolling papers, he pulls out this little stash box and whips out half a sheet of acid and starts offering tabs for rolling papers. No one was taking up the offer on the acid he wanted to hand out, but each time we asked someone he tore a few tabs off and he would start cackling and we would end up eating it. Next thing you know over the course of a few hours we've probably eaten 10+ tabs each, mind you there was a lot of tolerance from the night before. We smoke a few joints and I tell him I'm going to go play with the clouds because the 2C-P mingling with the LSD was very interactive. Little yellow orbs flew around like fire flies then condensed into bigger orbs in the sky. When I waved my hands a rift would open in the sky and eat all the orbs then close. Shortly after more orbs would appear and fill up my visual field.

While lying down the guy camping across from me introduces himself to me and we have a long chat about all sorts of shit, he was on quite a bit of LSD and was on the same wave length as me. I offered him some ketamine which he graciously accepted. We kept chatting for quite some time when he pulled out a bong and asked if I'd like to smoke some changa with him. He explained to me what it was, I assumed it was going to be just like DMT. He packed me a large bowl and told me to inhale a small amount, exhale, then take a massive toke and finish the bowl.

I did what he said and before I could exhale the second toke my vision went square and pulsed off to aztec symbols, I felt like I was downloading a mass of information. Then there was this overwhelming sensation of time shattering. I turned into green bars of energy that compressed my whole being into something else and appeared in a dark foreign world. A voice like an announcer said loudly "Today we play human." A game board of sorts with different possible realities appeared before me, there were spaces on the board that were 3 dimensional worm holes into all possible out comes of my being. I landed on a square and was sucked into it's reality like going through a tube in a Mario game. While in this tube I was condensed again similar to the first time but instead of green bars of energy I was turned and contorted into red bars of negative energy. I landed into this reality which seemed completely real, everything looked like real life, it felt real, nothing about it felt off or because of a drug. I got up from my chair and stumbled a few steps then collapsed and thought I was over dosing and dying. Life flashed before my eyes and I thought of all the people who I'd let down, terror gripped me and I thought, wow I'm another statistic. Then I just accepted my fate and crumbled into the rocky path and slowly my vision became darker and darker until my eyes finally closed. As my eyes closed the sound of computer shutting off occurred and I was in a world of nothingness, a black empty void, I figured this was the afterlife. I said I'm dead out loud and nothing happened just an endless empty void, I said I'm dead again and I heard a voice, saying no you aren't, you're alright. I came too back in the chair I was sitting in and the guy who gave it to me said "Want to dance?" I looked at him like what in the fuck just happened, and he said again "Want to dance?" I said alright and he escorted me over to the stage.

Everything was like an unloaded version of the world, I was thinking I must've done permanent damage to my brain because of how fucked up I was and what I was seeing. The world was white and unloaded, my entire body and others bodies looked like they were made of clay, nothing seemed real or made much sense. When we arrived at the dance floor a minute or so walk away, all the other people looked like NPC's from that meme that was popular a few years ago. No one had facial expressions or a face just this white clay like unloaded version of the world. I could barely stand but the music, some sort of chill bass music grabbed my being and I began to drift to the music. As I drifted the red negative energy that had killed me in whatever world I had landed in appeared originating in my soul. Slowly this red energy that manifested as all of my anger towards my girlfriends alcoholism (the reason I was getting so fucked up in the first place). My lack of being able to control her drinking, which spewed rage throughout my being constantly. In this moment all of my negative emotions swelled up as the red energy and began dispersing out of my soul. I went into a trance and it spread throughout my carcass cleansing my inner demons. I realized no matter what I can't convince someone to change their ways no matter how much I care for them. They have to be the ones who want change and pursue it. Slowly this red swelling mass pushed through and burst out of my body and into the world. Over the course of the next few songs the red energy gripped onto everyone and everything and rebuilt my world back into LSD melting scenery.

The guy who gave it to me asked if I was alright, I told him I needed some water and he took me back to his camp.

The ordeal of being that out of my mind high probably lasted 30+ minutes. Shortly after I ate some food then went to bed and tried to sleep for the remaining night of the event trying to decipher and understand what had just happened. I couldn't wrap my mind around what had happened for quite some time, lots of day dreaming and deciphering ensued and I think I finally understand and remember everything that happened. It was a very spiritual experience, one that I wouldn't repeat, but one that I deeply needed. For a while I thought I had actually died in some alternate reality but realized that is ridiculous because in the reality where I died the background visual scheme was like I was sober. I believe the death in my experience was my mind telling me that I need to stop over doing it and stop constantly mixing all sorts of substances together or I will eventually end up dead.

This happened around a year ago, I listened to what my soul told me, and I backed off completely from trying to deal with her drinking. I told her I won't talk with her until she gets a month sober because of the turmoil it's bringing to my life. She's 11 months sober from alcohol right now and we've never been happier.

 

[JackARoe]

I was thinking about this post GC. I al always looking for ways to get water and water sounds into my DMT trips. So my wife went to the neighbors house who is moving and she gave us a few things, one was a battery operated waterfall. It is a small little miniature water fall and water trickles down when it is turned on. So I was like eureeka!! I found something. But what happened was I tried to meditate to it one night before anything serious. And you can hear the water trickle, but also a low hum of a motor too going brmmmmm. So the motor drowns out the water trickling. Can't use it.

Onwards, I should just stop and sit in a river one time and give it a go.

 

[G_Chem]

I was thinking about this post GC. I al always looking for ways to get water and water sounds into my DMT trips. So my wife went to the neighbors house who is moving and she gave us a few things, one was a battery operated waterfall. It is a small little miniature water fall and water trickles down when it is turned on. So I was like eureeka!! I found something. But what happened was I tried to meditate to it one night before anything serious. And you can hear the water trickle, but also a low hum of a motor too going brmmmmm. So the motor drowns out the water trickling. Can't use it.

Onwards, I should just stop and sit in a river one time and give it a go.

I was thinking about getting one of those too for that very reason. When I get a place that I can finally settle down in I plan on building my own waterfall like you see in hotels n shit.

And just getting within earshot of a River should be enough but the closer the better

I thought back hard and have had some really amazing experiences when in the vicinity of moving water.

One in particular was when I first started smoking DMT. We had gone way out to camp at this remote site near some falls for a Mescaline trip the next day but that night before got antsy and took a hit of DMT.

I remember instantly feeling as if all the invisible creatures of the nighttime forest had taken notice of me and were all sitting right at the edge of the light of the fire staring in. Almost as if I could see and feel all their eyes on me, not malicious but simply curious as if I somehow tapped into their realm.

Very excited as I’ve got a major experience coming up soon that is much needed.

-GC

 

[Kallisti23]

I have found it difficult to achieve ego-death or the Total Loss of Ego (I prefer this term since it doesn't have the violent and negative implications of "ego-death") on traditional psychedelics unless Ketamine has been involved.

My most profound and intense experience of this was from K-holing at the peak of a 2CB trip. I had an experience that is hard, near impossible to put into words (I guess that's the nature of it) - I reached an intensely egoless state where I became the One, the All, God at the center of the universe, I was nothing and at the same time everything, I was a point at the center of being with all that exists flowing through me. Eyes open or closed made no difference, it was totally immersive. All this time I had no conception of myself as an individual consciousness.
As I started to come down from the Ketamine, I separated out into all the disparate components that had been flowing through me, being multiple of these states or things at once, gradually separating out into fewer and fewer of these "streams" until my consciousness found it's way back to me and I was born into my body.

This lead me to the belief that all is just the individual manifestations of the One Consciousness, and that the life we live here on earth is just a small stage in this existence.

Funnily, I spoke to a friend a while after this who recounted a practically identical experience from K-holing during an LSD trip.

 

[Kallisti23]

[/QUOTE]
only got a moment but will return...just noticed this and remembered an immense ego-death dmt experience I had with this as a low volume soundtrack to
[/QUOTE]

I only saw this now! Wow, I thought I was the only one. Rainbow Dome Musik has facilitated some of my most intense psychedelic voyages. It's one of my go-to albums for that. I think that was in fact what I had on while the experience I recounted above took place. It's powerful musik. I love Steve Hillage – Fish Rising is another masterpiece. Props!

Shri Camel by Terry Riley is another great one as a deep trip facilitator.