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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Feeling so frustrated!!!!

Opiatehell85

Opiatehell85

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 11, 2016
Messages
223
Hi, move this to sober living if I've posted into the wrong category,

im really struggling tonight :( I'm on bupe maintenance (10mg) daily and I've been doing so well. I've discussed my cravings with my key worker and we're gonna do a two week diary and see if there's a pattern to them.

But it tonight I don't know if I can do this anymore, my cravings are sky high, I'm upset, have mild withdrawal symptoms (although could be coming down with something) and I just don't feel like I can do this anymore, it's been seven weeks, I've been doing so well, I've built trust from my prescriber and they've even lowered my pick ups of the bupe as I've given 8 clean drug tests so far.... I don't wanna ruin everything, I'd feel so guilty, but I also can't carry on like this.... I'm hoping I'm just having a bad day, as it really has been working great for me. I can't wait for 9am tomorrow to get some advice from my rehab , really am feeling so low :( anyone else had this whilst on bupe? Thanks in advance
 
Hey there darling, don't give up just yet, try giving it another two weeks and see how you're doing. You might even feel ready to taper by then, and it might only take a couple weeks of tapering before you're completely sober, so keep your eye on the prize- sobriety could be less than 2 months away. They might be 2 shitty months but they will pass and once you're on the other side you will be so proud of yourself. Sometimes cravings can really come and go, maybe these cravings will pass really soon.

How has your sleep been?
 
Doubt you're battling withdrawal maybe coming down with something?
But shit you're a total badass for sticking with it
Even a day without using is a triumph on its own
Hang in there it'll only get better
 
Hey,

my sleeps been rubbish to be honest, it was great at first but then gone downhill. I'm feeling slightly better this morning but that's probably because I've just had my bupe, still don't feel 100% tho so I do think I have a virus too. The cravings are unbelievable, I can't describe them, only that it feels like frustration, extreme frustration, lasts about ten minutes then passes but is happening at least 10x a day! I'm gonna give my key worker a call, I'm in pain, I can't sleep, and cravings are too much. I really don't want to fail, I declined a dosage increase last week but now I'm wondering if I should just go up another 2mg. Things were going so well aswell, I don't know what's happened! Thanks for your replies I appreciate the support.
 
Definitely talk to your key worker. If you need to go up, then go up. Whatever it takes for you to be successful. You've got this. Hang in there.
 
Thankyou! Can't get in touch with anyone at the moment, but hopefully someone will call me back soon
 
I'm a realist. If you use, it's only gonna get you a beat urine drop with very minimal satisfaction. Give thanks to the Buprenorphine.
 
Going up 2mg won't be the end of the world, it's okay you can do it <3 If you start sleeping better you're going to start feeling a lot better.

You should really consider getting ahold of Clonidine - it's the gold standard for opiate withdrawals. Normally during opiate withdrawal you get a sympathetic nervous system (adrenaline) rebound. What Clonidine does is counteracts this by blocking adrenaline. It will allow you to sleep and I think this will improve your situation greatly.

Don't feel like you're giving in if you have to go make an appointment to get some Clonidine, I think it'll really help you.

Do you have pain from something other than withdrawal as well then? I guess the original reason you went on pain meds?

Stay strong, you can do this :)
 
Exactly Kief, alls its gonna get me is a failed drug test and no high, so it's not worth it!

Hey cotcha, Thankyou, I think from Monday they're gonna put me up to 12mg but I'm gonna see if it settles down a little first in the next few days. When I was first in withdrawal and stopped painkillers I refused all help, no bupe, no methadone was all I would say, I was literally so weak that my mother dragged me to a rehab clinic, all I would accept off them is lofexidine, which is similar to clonodine. I thanked them, left and made an appointment for two days later, well I was back the next day because I'd had an allergic reaction to the lofexidine and my tongue was so swelled up I couldn't talk. They they managed to talk me into taking the bupe, started me on 4mg, doubled to 8mg the next day. I was having huge cravings on 8 so they put me up to 10mg. I am aware I can go up to 32mg but I think that's waaaay to much. I had a restless sleep last night, bad nightmares, so still feeling tired today, no cravings at the moment but they don't kick in till about lunchtime. I thank bupe as I wouldn't of come this far without it, I'm just very stubborn and didn't wanna take their help at first, but I'm thankful for everything they've done for me now :)
 
Oh I still have some lofexidine here, so might just try one or two for sleep tonight and take an anti histamine with it to stop any reactions
 
Darling I really would think twice about taking the lofexidine, I think even with an anti histamine you're still gonna have an allergic reaction :( and unfortunately Clonidine is basically the same molecule so I think you'd be allergic to that as well :/ But it's up to you to gauge how bad your reaction was and how much you need the sleep. The other thing you can try for sleep is Propranolol - you shouldn't be allergic.

I'm really surprised you tried to go cold turkey, you get an A for effort hahaha ;) How ever did you get addicted in the first place?
 
Hi. The reaction wasn't too bad an only happened after about 12 tabs so I've just took two to see how I go. I do have propranolol stashed somewhere too haha I'm a terrible medicine hoarder. Anyway, I became addicted through hip pain. I've a disabled son an lifting him was impossible when I'm in pain so started on codeine off my Dr. Loved how they made me feel tolerance built an after three years I was eating up to 50 tablets a day, as well as dhc and morphine sulphate. I know all not the worst of opiates but still a huge dose to be taking every day for three years. A months script was lasting me less than a week and I was buying online, cost me thousands :( so I realised I had to stop, I didn't realize how bad the situation was until I did try and stop. Never want to go through it again :(
 
You're right if that happened after 12 tabs you'll probably do okay with only a couple and anti histamine, but be careful combining that with propranolol, you could get really low blood pressure <3 Im sorry about your hips and your son :( have you thought about trying to do physical therapy after this is all over?

Stay strong miss this will all be behind you one day :)
 
Yeah I've already tried physio but unfortunately because I have hip dysplasia, it's just gonna get worse! I had no sleep last night because it hurt that much, but my promethazine has arrived today so hoping for some sleep tonight! :)
 
Sleep is very important. Have you thought about using a hypnotic a la benzodiazepine to get better sleep? I know it's a very bad idea to get hooked on benzos for no reason, but at this point I'm really worried about you, and a lack of sleep can have dire consequences, especially on your mind.

Combining benzos and opioids is risky, so you should check how your breathing works when on the buprenorphine. I'm no doctor, so perhaps what I'm suggesting is dangerous, maybe somebody can comment on that?

Honestly, though, you're doing great! It takes a lot of willpower to not use despite feeling like total shit, and for so long too. As such, I offer you my sincerest mental support. Keep going, there has to be an end to this. As 2Pac once said, "after every dark night, there's a bright day after that".

PS since you're saving so much money from abandoning your codeine habit, perhaps you could invest in improving your quality of life, maybe that'll help? Think about improving your diet and some other daily routines. Perhaps a non-drug treat here and there?
 
belligerent drunk said:
Sleep is very important. Have you thought about using a hypnotic a la benzodiazepine to get better sleep? I know it's a very bad idea to get hooked on benzos for no reason, but at this point I'm really worried about you, and a lack of sleep can have dire consequences, especially on your mind.

Combining benzos and opioids is risky, so you should check how your breathing works when on the buprenorphine. I'm no doctor, so perhaps what I'm suggesting is dangerous, maybe somebody can comment on that?

Honestly, though, you're doing great! It takes a lot of willpower to not use despite feeling like total shit, and for so long too. As such, I offer you my sincerest mental support. Keep going, there has to be an end to this. As 2Pac once said, "after every dark night, there's a bright day after that".

PS since you're saving so much money from abandoning your codeine habit, perhaps you could invest in improving your quality of life, maybe that'll help? Think about improving your diet and some other daily routines. Perhaps a non-drug treat here and there?
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Hey, my doctor is very strict with benzos! I might be able to get some zopiclone though, I'd have to ask. I'm worried about me, I'm very depressed, I'm still trying to live a normal life an make everyone else happy but no ones ever there for me. I've been told today that it was hoped I would change in the weeks I've not been using, and that they are disappointed that I haven't, that was a major blow for me bcos I'm trying so fucking hard. They're not happy, but neither am I, feel like I have zero support at home. Just don't know what to do?? This isn't like me to be so down in the dumps, I can't shake it off. Hope you're well though BD xx
 
To my knowledge the non-benzodiazepines are much less likely to depress breathing, I think ambien/lunesta would be good to try.

I'm really sorry about your poor hips :( have anti-inflammatory drugs ever helped your pain?

Stay strong darling <3
 
I'm allergic to anti inflams, pregablin helped but gave me night terrors! But I might try them again. I had a good sleep last night, feel a lot more positive today. A good nights sleep does wonders for your mind! But atleast I'm more positive :)
 
Man you are allergic to everything! However did the lofexidine go over by the way? Do you think the pregablin might be worth it to try again to get some sleep or would the night terrors out weigh it's use as a sedative?

That's great that you slept though, I'm glad :) it sounds like the promethazine helped?
 
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I was fine with just two lofexidine, they did make me a little groggy the whole of the next day tho! Yeah the promethazine works great for me, I have to order it online tho as pharmacys seem reluctant to sell it to me, they always say they're outta stock! One pharmacist told me it was addictive, but I suppose all sleep aids have addictive potential , I'll just use sparingly.

Hows things going for you?
 
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