I'd consider myself anexperienced tripper. I've done Lucy many times and have experienced vast ranges of good and bad things that have happened while tripping but there's something I'm quite concerned with that has happened twice in my tripping experience. I don't know how to explain it other than seeing someone I thought I deeply cared about cry and it had no effect on me. This feeling lasted for quite sometime after and negative thoughts came flooding in things like you don't really care for people. You're every bad thing anyone has said you ever were. I felt like people were watching me and that there were evil spirits standing over me during the night. I felt borderline schizophrenic. I had about 6 tabs when that happened and went through some emotional trauma. I didn't touch it for about 5 months then decided to trip again and it was the best trip I've ever had so I decided to trip again not too long after and I'm back to these crazy negative thoughts and can't feel things like I'm emotionally numb. I start to cry and it's like a wall comes up and won't let me experience my emotions fully. I know it won't last forever due to getting over it the last time but I'm just wondering if anyone has ever felt like this and could possibly share some insight
Feeling like I have no emotions
- Thread starter Mari95
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It's good you realize this will pass, I am sure it will since you had it happen before and it passed. However, the way you describe it does worry me a bit. I would take a long break from psychedelics. I love them too, but it's not worth potential mental imbalance. Specifically the part about how you felt like people were watching you and there were evil spirits standing over you... those are things that people having psychotic episodes typically say. Try to think about your life and yourself. Is there some deep-seated issue you have with yourself, or some past trauma? My guess is that there is. I would try to figure out how to deal with that and get past it, and only then should you consider trying psychedelics again (if you still feel like it).
Thanks guys but yeah the first time it happened the way I got past it was telling myself that the things my ex said to me (things that I've never heard anyone tell me ex. I'm a socio path and all these horrible things that I actually started to believe) weren't true. So when I finally opened up to someone close to me about how I was feeling they said they have never seen any of those things in me and that my ex was projecting all his feelings of himself onto me. Hearing that helped me believe in myself and my process to healing a lot but I could never shake those things he said to me and once I got into a new relationship and tripped with that person I started to question myself alll the time because of that past trip with my ex but the trip was one of the most amazing trips I've had so when me and the person I'm with now tripped together again and I got that same feeling of losing touch with my emotions as did he as he says he has felt this before too so now I just don't know what to believe anymore. I know I won't touch psychedelics again for a long time because of this. I just hope there isn't something terribly wrong with me mentally. I wish no harm on others and do not purposefully put others in harms way so I know I'm not completely mentally fucked up. I just feel very lost and I guess someone who has felt or gone through something similar will bring insight and calm my negative thinking
Mind you I have been going to therapy a good amount of my lifetime and went when I had the first mental break when i thought I was seeing dark shadows standing over me and the doctors sent me home due to drug paranoia and the therapy I went to after I tried to get accepted in rehab was time consuming and didn't even help.