feeling blue after finding out who my freind really is

[pandasniper100]

hello this is my first post.(please for give my grammar and spelling as i am dyslexic )

i have had a friend who i met about 3 -4 years ago we met online through psn on ps3 he had a family in England he seemed like a grate guy he had 1 kid at the time his girlfriend at the time and a dog for the purpous of this thread i will call him biz its his nickname well me and biz got on grate i think within the first the first few weeks he had my phone num and i had his he would call me and we would talk for houers on end and the same on psn (he evean helped me through though tough times ) as i was sucideal at the time and had tryed to kill myself 2 times in the past but after speaking to him it all stoped evean cutting myself he escintly restored my faith in humanity i was evean planing to to see he in england some time (i live on the isle of man) and then a bob shell hit me and feel lost once again heare is a convo i had with his gf or know wife

i have removed her picture and un for the perpous of her privacy i do not know what i can do if anything at all
Hey. How's life?? xx
Tuesday

13/01/2015 08:09
me same old how about use?

13/01/2015 08:10
Honestly?? Shit xx

13/01/2015 08:10
me why whats going on

13/01/2015 08:14

Biz has basically ruined everything. Since we've been married, that he claims, he's not only been physically abusive to me that I had to take an injunction out against him, but has now cheated on me with several girls more than once and even lead a double life with another girl since before Christmas. That's only the basic story. He has literally crushed me xx

13/01/2015 08:16
me wow i am so sorry (i wounder why he created a new fb acc)

13/01/2015 08:21
I found out this Saturday about it. What's insulting is that he not only told me to just drop it straight away and forget so we could move on, but he kept lying to me about things, so I had to find out the numbers of two of the girls to talk to them. They were really nice to tell me everything I wanted to know and we're just as shocked because he had lied to them too. Even when I confronted him, he said they were lying xx

13/01/2015 08:22
It's like he's been grooming us to be exactly what he wants us to be and trying to trap us xx

13/01/2015 08:27
me i honestly though he was a good guy .if he has been physicaly abusive to u he honstly dose not deserve u not to turn this back me or anything like that but if it where me i would leve him as i grew up with my mother and whn she was dating that shawn asshole and he was abusing my mother that destroyed me (waking up one kinght hearing my mum screem got up whent and get a glass of water my mom runing down the hall me still sleepy so i was not really aware of what was going on then he stumbles down the hall obisly drunk trying to tell me to go to bed am like no relising what was happing my mother crying (honstly that day i lost respect for my mother and myself (as i did not run in ther and stop him it was a big part of why i left ireland it was basicly like saying well if u whont to say with him thats fine with me but i aint going to be a part of it )then when i left shortly after that she finally left him

13/01/2015 08:30
me u have to get him to relise what he is doing that he is tearing ur family apart i honstly dont whont ur kids to see any abuse and to have to go through what i whent thorugh honstly it will mess them up .to this day i think its why i suffer from deppersion
also try get him to go see a physicist

13/01/2015 08:30
Shit, I'm sorry. I'm glad you made a stand. He's not the person he was when we used to play online together. I kept protecting him at first because he saud he'd change, but I don't know why I did. Then, he goes and cheats several times and expects me to forgive him xx

13/01/2015 08:32
me the only way people change is if they relise that wat they are doing and get the help they need

13/01/2015 08:32
The worse is that the girls have seen him be abusive towards me. That's why I got the injunction, to protect us. He said he'd get better and sort his anger out but he obviously didn't want to, chose to chase around after girls instead. We haven't lived together for a while but see each other every day. He's been coming round less and less though and I know why now xx

13/01/2015 08:33
From the conversationa with two of the women, he's definitely like a groomer. It's very longwinded, but it's creepy to hear xx
me man why do shit thing allways happen to good people

13/01/2015 08:33
*conversations
I don't know. He keeps telling me he loves me, misses me, hates himself, but then why was he still pursuing at least one of the girls?? He blamed me for "pushing him away" but I tried everything to get him to be a part of this family xx Literally, if we turned it into a film, it would have one fucked up twisted plot xx

13/01/2015 08:37
me has he seen a psycarist u should probley be there as well to point out what he has been doing and bring up that he has physicaly abused u if u do whont to do it in front of him just get the phycirst num and text him it so he can bring up in the next meeting with him

thers alot of shit that i would take in a relationship but cheating and any for of abuse is just not one of em
and dont let him blame u if he says u are pusing him away reply to it and say yes i am becouse u are sleeping with otter girls

13/01/2015 08:45
I know. Everything he has told me lately has been a lie. He's made excuses up to not see us but has been with this one girl. He's lied about being sick, about overdosing, about feeling unwanted. All the time he was grooming this girl and telling her that I was horrible and keeping the girls away from him, that we weren't together and that he couldn't be bothered to see us. He's actually psychotic. If I told you everything, you would be shocked and sick to your stomach xx

13/01/2015 08:46
He's meant to be seeing a psychiatrist in February. He definitely needs help xx

I know it's not my fault. I didn't force him to sleep with other girls. I didn't force him to hurt me. Yes, I got the injunction but he agreed to it. That doesn't give him a right to cheat on me though xx

13/01/2015 08:4
me ide avise u to go with him as he will not bring up all of it he will probley just tell some of the lighter stuff he did
injection?

13/01/2015 08:53
No, his medication for his mental illness. He didn't though as it was a lie so he could spend the time with this girl. It was on Christmas day. He said he didn't feel comfortable and left. I couldn't get hold of him to see if he was ok and Kari wanted to speak to him. He deliberately ignored his phone and said he had overdosed because he felt unstable. He just wanted to sleep with this girl though xx

13/01/2015 08:5
I know he won't. I don't even know if he has told me the full truth because I had to find out bits for myself from the girls. He had the audacity to say he didn't want to be publicly humiliated too. It's his own fault. He's done this. What about my feelings?? He's destroyed everything I felt for him xx

13/01/2015 08:55
He's been a terrible father honestly. He'd make up excuses for not seeing the girls or coming to do things with us like see Santa, parties, New Year's, etc xx

13/01/2015 08:57
He's even said to me he wants us to move back in together and can't wait until we can be a family again, bit has told one of the girls that he wants to move in with her but doesn't want children. He's even thought about other children with me. He's literally had us played. He would tell us the exact same things on the exact same day xx

13/01/2015 09:00
me i honstly dont know what to say what happend to the guy that was happy with u and ur little family the guy that would sit in glitches and chat for hours on end dam this shit is fucked up

what day in feb is he going to see a physicist

13/01/2015 09:04
I know. He's completely vanished and this evil doppelganger is what's replaced him xx

The 11th I think xx

13/01/2015 09:05
me also do u know if he has been doing drugs(illigal ones) as they can fuck up ur pleasuer recptors and just make him think well xxxxxx not puting out i will get ti from sumwhere else (sorry to put it so crudely )

and am not saying its ur job or anything like that i am just saying hard drugs can change people

13/01/2015 09:07
I noticed a change in him just before we got married. I should have followed through with that feeling and realised before saying "I do". No word of a lie, he has used the children and the marriage to trap me so I can't leave. He won't let me have a social life because he doesn't want to lose me. He gets jealous when I talk to you. It's only been recently that I've woken up to it all and really thought about it. When I look back, I can see exactly what he's been doing. Like a game of chess. I'm incredibly scared of him and what's going through his mind xx

13/01/2015 09:08
He admitted to smoking cannabis for the whole time we've been together. He lied about stopping xx

He's been doing cocaine too. One of the girls told me. Don't know what else xx

13/01/2015 09:09
me oh shit

13/01/2015 09:09
His words the first time I actually caught him trying to cheat were "You didn't pit out enough and I wanted attention". I was pregnant with Luna then and feeling ill from it because of the complications!! Xx

13/01/2015 09:10
me lol he thinks i am after u lol thats funny shwn was the same way can not count the amont of time he acused my mother of cheating

13/01/2015 09:11
I know. That's what I thought. No wonder why he's fucked in the head. He spends all his money on drugs, cigarettes, etc. He never helps contribute towards the girls xx

I know. He said he had thought I had cheated but he knew I'd never do that. That's why he thought he could get away with it. He's just excuses and lies and manipulating everyone xx

He literally wants me all to himself, but now wants other girls to himself xx

I'm glad I spoke to thus one girl that he's still talking to as I've technically saved her from all this and he's lost control of both of us xx

The other girl was grateful I told her too as she knows not to let him ever try to make the same moves again xx
one of the women is stalking him now and wants him all to herself xx

13/01/2015 09:14
me man coke is not good in any way ile be honst with u i have done it once but yhea from what i have heard about it is verry adictive he need to get off that shit.the next day after i did it i felt like pure shit for three days

13/01/2015 09:14
Yeh?? I think he's being idiotic, but psychotic. Who does that to people?? Xx

13/01/2015 09:16
me one of the women is stalking him now and wants him all to herself xx did he tell u that or is it sumthnig u know just woundering becouse he could be using it as a tactic

13/01/2015 09:21
She actually is. Even one of the girls told me because she's seen her do it. Both Aarron and her told me. We don't know if he's slept with her anymore though. Probably has xx

13/01/2015 09:22 me not trying to make excuses for anyone here. 55-percent of people with "Cocaine-induced psychiatric symptoms

here is a link to the artical 55-percent of people with "Cocaine-induced psychiatric symptoms
http://gizmodo.com/5913998/what-is-cocaine-psychosis

13/01/2015 09:23

13/01/2015 09:24
I know it's not an excuse. He made his choices xx

13/01/2015 09:24
me but at the end of the day he sniffed it so dont use it as an excuse

13/01/2015 09:25
That's what I thought. He slept with others, he's manipulated everything. He's not stupid xx

13/01/2015 09:27
me u can get testing kits to test if he has been on any shit like that ide recomend getting one and every time comes over test him b4 he see the kids or if he is taking the kids out sumwhere last thing u whont is to lose one of ur kids becouse he was hig and not in his right state of maind

13/01/2015 09:27
me high*
mind*

13/01/2015 09:28
Yeh. He doesn't even bother with them at the moment. It's literally like he cares more about keeping me than being their dad xx

13/01/2015 09:32
me more more things cocain can cause Forgetting important dates or events Becoming angry without a good cause Becoming violent Developing mood swings or depression Acting defensive Neglecting old friends and family to spend time with other drug abusers

this id fucked up
i use to look up to him honestly
thought he was a grate guy
he need ssome serious help
try check his arm decritly for any injection marks i really hope he has not stooped that law tho
low*

13/01/2015 09:36
I know. You don't even know the half of it what he's done. It's worse than any Jeremy Kyle show, lol. We don't even know everything or if there's more because every word that comes out of his mouth is a lie and he's got so tangled that he's panicking and can't crawl his way out of the pit he's created. We don't even think he knows what's real and what's not anymore xx

13/01/2015 09:37
I know. I would constantly say to him that he should talk to you. He'd get jealous if I did. He has no motivation to do anything anymore xx
I hope he hasn't. He literally is a horrible guy now. He's changed so much that it's scary. If you knew what I knew and saw him in action, you would feel really uncomfortable to even look at him. He really is unnerving xx

13/01/2015 09:3
me well that a nother sympton of cocain u fell grate but then the low hits u and u feel like shit and get no plesure out of anything u do for a few days at minumen
since i started talking to u today i sent him this msg sup man whats with the new profile hows thing going
imea see what he says and see if i can see wht he says and see if we can sumhow sort this out
do u still whont to be with him ?
if it was the old him that u rememberd ?

13/01/2015 09:43
Yeh and he might not answer. He broke his phone in front of me to prove his "love" for me. So no one can contact him at the moment xx
If he was the old him, yes. I don't know if he's ever going to be that person again. But then I think, do I really want to be with him after he's done all this?? I just don't know with him anymore xx

13/01/2015 09:45
me well that might be a test to see if he has otther phones that u do knot know about
i really hope he dose change it will take alot on his side and he has to really whont to do it or it not going to work

13/01/2015 09:47
He's done some disgusting things too. He's kissed me everyday and kissed the other girl everyday. He's probably kissed others too. His toothbrush looks unused apparently and he's rarely washed. He's letting himself go. He wears the same outfit day after day and brings his clothes round for me to wash even after he's had sex with someone. One of the girls came on once and he got blood on his top. He tried to wash it off but took it to me and made out he had cut his finger. He had literally cit open his finger to "prove it". He's only use a condom a couple times and unprotected the rest. He pulls out every time so he doesn't impregnate anyone, but he still could and he still could catch an STI xx

13/01/2015 09:48
He just doesn't care anymore. He's given up caring about anything, anyone or himself xx
He's even messing up with college now. He's going to lose his place if he doesn't commit to it xx
We reckon he doesn't truly know how to love. He just lusts, like an infatuation xx

13/01/2015 09:50
me He pulls out every time so he doesn't impregnate anyone(lol thats a joke right )
fuck in hell

13/01/2015 09:50
Did he ever love me?? Or was it just because I'm what he wanted and it was about control to possessing me like a trophy?? Xx
No, he doesn't use protection and then before he ejactlates, he pulled out so he doesn't cum inside them xx

13/01/2015 09:5
me thats what he told u i am asuming

13/01/2015 09:52
It's what he and the girl told me xx

13/01/2015 09:52
me oh

13/01/2015 09:53
I believe everything she told me xx
I don't know why she would lie xx

13/01/2015 09:5
me i dont know what to belive
man its all messe dup

13/01/2015 09:53
But he didn't even tell me that at first. He said he had only slept with her four times and used a condom every time xx
After I confronted him, he told me he never came inside xx
It's very messed up xx
Also, he's always said he's allergic to latex condoms but has used them twice with one girl and once with another. So that's bullshit. It's just because he doesn't want to use one really because he likes the real feeling xx

13/01/2015 09:55
me i wish after the first few msgs u replyed to me saying nah am only joking biz asked me to do it to see what u would say
well in my opinion if ur not using condoms and ur not ready for another baby u shold not be having sex

13/01/2015 09:57
I wish it was a joke. I said to him that I wish I had died before he told me so I wouldnt have to know about it and I wouldn't have to live in the sea of his lies xx
All the times I've spoken to you recently, I've felt like a liar saying everything was fine. It's what I wanted it to be. I didn't want to believe the abuse. But now cheating!? Xx
I know. Intercourse is for making babies. If he's not going to be safe, then he should never do it. If he was sexually frustrated, he should have watched porn xx

13/01/2015 10:00
me yhea

13/01/2015 10:00
Here's something else you didn't know xx

13/01/2015 10:03
We don't have Max anymore. He was mistreating him by not walking him properly, etc and when I said I couldn't keep watching him with how sad he looked I said he had to go. Aarron was too busy with his mates though and said to phone the dog warden. I did and kept telling him bit he didn't care. Max got taken and hours after, Aarron turned up and got upset that Max was gone and tried to get me into trouble and that I had maliciously got rid of him. Max went to his original owners because he was chipped and when they checked him, it cane up he was stolen xx

13/01/2015 10:05
me wow he has had that dog for a long time hasen he ?

13/01/2015 10:06
Yeh. For a month before I got with him xx
That just shows that he didn't really care enough. He might have cared but didn't if that makes sense?? Xx

13/01/2015 10:0
me wow i dont know what to say

13/01/2015 10:06
Like, he cares about us, but he doesn't at the same time xx
I said you didn't know the half of it. I could write a book with everything that's happened xx

13/01/2015 10:08
me sounds like it would be a log ass book
long

13/01/2015 10:08
Yep xx

13/01/2015 10:09
me if the dog was chiped how cum the owner did not sooner
or dog warden or whatever

13/01/2015 10:11
Because when a dog is chipped, he has to be scanned to know he is the stolen dog. That's why it was on the system, but they didn't know where he was xx

13/01/2015 10:12
me oh i thought they could locate it by the chip through some sort of signal or program thought that was the point of s dog chip

13/01/2015 10:13
They might be able to do that now, but the chip he had was just a scan and it'll pop up one xx
So yeah, he lost Max because he was stupid and didn't commit to him xx

13/01/2015 10:13
me oh

13/01/2015 10:17
13/01/2015 10:18
me imea going go get some sleep b4 work ile be backing on at like 20 past 10 pm if ur on and whont to talk . i think am going to need some painkillers today got a bitch of a headach know
dont be afraid to tell me anything i dont judge i just wish it was the biz i usta know

13/01/2015 10:19
Ok and thank you so much. I've always felt comfortable talking to you, just wish I had opened up more sooner xx

13/01/2015 10:20
me take care

13/01/2015 10:20
Today
bye xx
00:03
me how are things gowing
00:42

A bit meh. Talking to mrxxxx a bit. He's saying how it was a mistake and he was using them for sex and attention because he missed me, etc. He wants to prove he can change and be the person he was. He only wants me and the girls. To be honest, I don't know if I can believe him xx

He asked me out to lunch with Luna while Kari was at nursery. I really don't know what to make of everything. It's literally like I'm emotionless at the moment. I keep feeling that everything around me is moving incredibly slow and it's making me feel giddy. I keep losing track of time though because it's like I blink and hours have gone past xx

01:00
This whole thing is so draining xx

01:00
me idk lol yhea idk what to think
is he plaing to get back with u and then destroy you again idk i always say everyone deservs a 2nd chance but i regrited saying that to my mum when she was with shawn so idk what to say trust ut instincts i guess

01:03
And to make things worse, someone he works with at a barber's (because he's started a job there) has told me that he and Biz are going to protect me ans that they have my back because of a guy I spoke to on Monday. So I'm thinking "wtf!?". Why do I need protecting????? It's so weird. The guy insinuated that my life could be at risk and to avoid certain places at the moment until they find out what's going on xx

01:04
me da fuck
weird

01:06
That's my thought. I don't want to be hurt again. How do I know he's even telling the truth?? How do I know everything in the past five and a half years has been true?? I just don't know xx

01:07
me that knight when sean asilted my mum aparintly he told her that he had people in the kitchen that wher going to cut her up b4 he asphilted he idk if this is just sum stupid joke or if its a for of minpulation?
form*

01:12
I know, right!? I'm freaked out. I'm not allowed to know anything yet because they don't want to panic me. This guy is apparently not to be trusted so they don't want me talking to him or letting him know anything else about me, etc. He's the stand-in boss of the barber's that took an interest in why I was upset. He was weird though because he asked me if he could come to my home to comfort me(!?!?) and wanted my number and for me to call him back after I spoke to him on Monday. Biz and his mate said there's something not right with him and told me to be careful. His mate was the one who said all this and that he doesn't want anything to happen. I'm so confused and a bit scared about why thus stand-in boss is not to be trusted xx

01:13
That's awful if it was true. Even if it wasn't, that's awful to make her thunk that xx
*think

01:15
me umm idk it dose sound a bit odd that he wonted to go back to ur place ect to "comfort u"
evean if u whont to be in a relationship with a girl u dont push ur self on a girl like that
u take it slow so idk it dose sound odd but with what biz had done its hard to know who to trust all am saying is it deffintly not normal to push urself on sum 1 like that

so any advice thanks

 

[DuckieMan]

I attempted to decipher this archaic writing but I made it like a quarter of the page down and have no clue what's happening? You are attempting to help bizs girl out? I am lost, some rough cliff notes may get you some actual advice. I can't figure who you are and who you're talking to its just a huge wall of text. Are you the girlfriend who was abused and cheated on? Or are you just a concerned friend, regardless this is the type of reason why relationships should not continue on. After multiple cheating and abuse that girl needs to get as far away as possible as its most likely going to keep occurring.

 

[neversickanymore]

Tds ---> slr

Welcome to BL

Please PM me or SLR staff with anything around this move.

 

[pandasniper100]

i am a friend of biz(although a would not call him much of a friend know ) that's how i know his wife we often talk on fb that's where all them messages are taken from when it has me that is obviously me talking to her and when it has no name that is obviously bizes wife

 

[DuckieMan]

What kind of advice are you looking for? What you should do? What she should do?

 

[Felonious Monk]

I'm confused. That was one of the worst typed things I've ever read, I only made it through a few back and forths, but here's what I could get.

1. Biz is a POS to his real life friends and family
2. This does not matter to you AT ALL, as he helped you in your time of need
3. Forget they exist and move on. If you feel the need keep talking to the wife but it's clear the situation is creating issues for you personally.

 

[sirfoxey]

I'm confused. That was one of the worst typed things I've ever read, I only made it through a few back and forths, but here's what I could get.

1. Biz is a POS to his real life friends and family
2. This does not matter to you AT ALL, as he helped you in your time of need
3. Forget they exist and move on. If you feel the need keep talking to the wife but it's clear the situation is creating issues for you personally.

Glad you made it through I gave up part way through, but from what I did make of it, couldn't agree more with the above

 

[pandasniper100]

What kind of advice are you looking for? What you should do? What she should do?

well what should i do if there is anything i can do .also what shold she do keeping in mind she has 2 kids with him so its not as easy as just leaving him .

 

[pandasniper100]

1 yes that dose seem to be true
2 no idea where u got that from (he did help me in my time of need but that is no excuse for all this shit and i feel betrayed by him )
3 you may be right

 

[DuckieMan]

well what should i do if there is anything i can do .also what shold she do keeping in mind she has 2 kids with him so its not as easy as just leaving him .

It really is that simple for her, can't stand when women try and make things work in this scenario. If he abuses her who knows what he may do to the kids given the chance. He cheats on her so there goes any chance of trust in their relationship anymore.
He doesn't seem like he is ready to settle down if he's still doing things like he is.
As for you, no reason you can't keep him as a social friend as. But if you have to just move along. So many people in this world, not like this is the type you should keep around for any meaningful relationship.

 

[samnslumberland]

well what should i do if there is anything i can do .also what shold she do keeping in mind she has 2 kids with him so its not as easy as just leaving him .

Actually, the fact that they have children together should make this decision easier for her. It's one thing to submit yourself to abuse in a relationship, but to allow your children to see and hear it happening is a whole other story. It's not as if he's going to turn into a completely reformed man if she threatens to leave him; she needs to actually LEAVE HIM for the sake of their kids. They can work on their relationship as co-parents or friends (possibly more than friends if they so desire) after some distance and time for your friend to figure his shit out and come to terms with the severity of his actions.

Also, I think it's great that you're supporting his wife and don't agree with his behavior. But your friend is clearly in a dark place right now and can use your support as well, so try not to take sides. This isn't to say that you should comfort and coddle him through this rough patch, but that you should try to be a voice of reason for him. I think that a little bit of tough love is beneficial to everybody.

 

[Smoky]

I would move the conversation OFF of fb. You don't want to be involved in some triangulation with 2 others online that has potential to bring you further into their issues.

 

[pofacedhoe]

i would stop contacting this Biz guy and let his girlfriend make her own decisions.

its not your business and its her life. she needs to sort herself out.

her problem which only she can solve

 

[sailor bugg]

I read the OP for about 7 minutes, scrolled down and realized how long the post was and just gave up as the broken english and confusion between who was saying what was to much. But I can offer my advice….. Just forget about these people, from what I gathered you haven't seen either of them IRL and as far as I could tell, don't even live in the same country. You're really just getting involved with affairs that really have nothing to do with you. Fact of the matter is that "biz's" g/f should dump his ass straight away as there is physical abuse and they have children, that's not okay. Plus this "biz" guy just seems like a total POS.