Congrats on everyone that is getting sober and evolving. I too am evolving. I have a year and nearly four months, and I am still learning that I am a good person. I've been kinda sick and worn out lately, which was usually my cue to use, but now I have a different set of activities I partake in. I have been gardening quite a bit, and now I have finally gotten back into crafting and painting.
I don't know if you all experience this, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed by my emotions and I have to take a giant step back from situations before I let the chaos back into my life. I had always numbed my feelings, bad or good, and now I no longer have that numbness to fall back on. I feel like I don't deserve to feel good sometimes, but I think that is just my old friend guilt trying to work its way back into my life. I still have panic attacks and I no longer take benzos so I have been practicing mitigating the anxiety with deep breathing and meditation. My sleep is getting back to normal, but I routinely can't fall asleep at least once a week. Its odd, I will stay up all night listening to tv thinking about how I could have done things differently...but I know in my heart that it is dangerous to do so. For the first nearly hundred days of my recovery I barely slept, even with temazepam and xanax...and the sleep I got was not very restful. I haven't had a using dream in a while which is nice, but I know that even after a year and some change they are just as panic inducing.
Here is hoping that everyone on this forum is finding that piece of themselves they thought they had lost, sold, or gave away. I know I am finding it. I never thought I would date again but it is going great!