Far Away Dating

[stolemyheart87]

Well out of all of the relationships I have been in, all have been long distance, average drive time being about 40-60 minutes, around 50-60 miles distance.


But NOW I am facing a new issue. This new guy and I have been talking and getting to know each other, and we live in the same state of California but we live 3 hours a part from one another. He's in Atascadero, California and I am living in Los Angeles, California, if you want to check the distances for yourself.


Been talking to a new guy for a few days, both of us are looking to date, wanting a relationship and see where it goes. We both share similar interests and have things in common. We talk everyday since we started talking. He lives at home with his family, and I live at home with my family.


Now he does drive, and he also works, as a supervisor at a Home Depot as a Freight Handler, working 10 hour days, graveyard shift, 8:30PM to 6:00AM, Monday through Friday. He has Saturday and Sunday OFF.


So he doesn't mind driving down here and seeing me. But when that will be, he says he has to see when he has time off to do so. Since he has the weekend's off, that would be a good time to drive down and spend the weekend with me and us hanging out and date one another.


But here's the thing, I went and asked him out, told him next weekend let's go to a drive in movie and see a movie, it's happening next Saturday October 1st starts at 7PM.


He replies with "I can't next weekend. I have to help my mom with the shed".


I then have also asked him let's talk on the phone or video chat, I already asked him twice, the first time I said "Hey I am ready now if you want to video chat." This was around 12PM since he works graveyard shift he fell asleep and didn't wake up til 3PM. He had replied back saying "I just woke up".


We never video chatted. So later around 5PM I asked him again if he wanted to video chat and he replied with "I'm going to the store but when I get back we can",


He returned home from the store and had said "I actually passed out when I got home".


I know what your thinking, if he has the weekend's off, why was he working Saturday night? He was working overtime so he went into work.


So when it comes down to this guy, what do you think, do you think this can really work out, or is it already dead in the water?

 

[Mel22]

It has only been a few days, he takes no initiative, and is flaky as fuck.

Wouldn't be worth it even if he lived around the corner. Abort mission.

 

[Foreigner]

Yeah this guy is a flake, don't bother.

40-60 minutes isn't that bad. In a big city that's a train ride or a couple buses. I've done that for friends.

3 hours though? I dunno. No offense but how are you living in LA and unable to date anyone locally? I know the big city can be tough but seriously.

 

[stolemyheart87]

Yeah this guy is a flake, don't bother.

40-60 minutes isn't that bad. In a big city that's a train ride or a couple buses. I've done that for friends.

3 hours though? I dunno. No offense but how are you living in LA and unable to date anyone locally? I know the big city can be tough but seriously.

Trust me everytime I find a guy to my liking he lives far away. I have tried finding a guy that is local but no such luck.

 

[Kl519]

Trust me everytime I find a guy to my liking he lives far away. I have tried finding a guy that is local but no such luck.

Whaaat, and you live in LA too? Well the fads and popular lingo can be hard to keep up with, and there are certainly a lot of hard asses here (both guys and girls!) but it should be easy to wade through the masses and find someone. Definitely don't hook up at clubs or raves unless it's someone you're bringing with you; the reasons are notoriously accurate from my pov.

But we live in a huge world and whether your guy lives hours away or not doesn't make much of a difference. People can move or visit each other freely, and negate that distance problem.

 

[stolemyheart87]

Yeah I know, I just wish this guy would do the chasing and want to talk on the phone or video chat. Like I called him last night and he of course did not answer, BUT I heard him on the voicemail message he has. But he says he got the flu and is not feeling well, but to me that's another EXCUSE.

 

[Kl519]

Ha, yeah, or at least some better effort.

He said that through his voicemail? That's pretty funny. Seems like his effort is in the wrong places.

You should try just confronting him directly and tell him what an excuse it is. Just to see what he says.

 

[stolemyheart87]

No No, his own voicemail message he recorded for people to leave HIM a voicemail message, he said something else, in his recorded message for others to hear, to leave him a message, in the text message he sent me, he had said in those text messages that he had the flu, and was admitted in the hospital. I texted him told him how I was feeling and then asked him to prove that he was in the hosptial and he of course didn't. He could have taken 5 seconds to snap a photo and send me it, showing him in a hospital room or something but nope. He just said "wow" to me not believing him but come on now. Its really hard to believe your in that situation without me really believing you, its like too good too be true, a excuse to believe such a thing I think.

After texting him a few more messages explaining to him how I was feeling come the morning hours around 7:45AM he called me and left me a voicemail, I missed his call due to being asleep and having my phone on silent. He left me a voicemail saying he was home at that same time, 7:45AM and was eating breakfast steak for breakfast of all things, who eats steak for breakfast, isn't that a dinner food haha. And he had also said I could call him whenever I wanted. So NOW we will see what happens next.

Will he answer when I call him? Will he answer when I video call him? Thats another BIG question. Only time will tell.

 

[Kl519]

I see. The issue is trust then. You have to decide whether you trust him or not.

Try to set that up. If he doesn't pick up the phone or video chat, then lose the guy because it doesn't seem like he's trying at all.

Yeah, you have to decide for yourself.

 

[stolemyheart87]

But that's another issue, I am not sure when he is free, since he works nights graveyard shift, he comes home around 7AM and could be sleeping anywhere from 7AM-2PM if not later like 3-4PM up by 5PM to get ready for work I don't know his day to day scheduling lol.

 

[spacejunk]

Sounds like he's majorly dicking you around.

 

[stolemyheart87]

I guess so. I don't know, every time I try to talk to him, he doesn't talk much. He left me a voicemail message the other day saying I could call him whenever I wanted, but I call him and he doesn't answer my call.