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fantasize abt partner cutting me during sex? sick in the head? how 2 ask him 2 do it?

A

almarota

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 3, 2013
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i know some people might find this offensive or weird but its a genuine question nd all my searches on google just turn up gore porn and stuff like that. or websites on 'hair cutting fetish' lol. from lurking this forum seems to be pretty open minded & accepting & so i just hope that i could get some opinions w/out judgement here. i know that this topic might seem fucked up and twisted to some ppl but im being honest here about my most private fantasies and hope i could get treated seriously & w/respect even if u disagree w/the things that i like...

neways, i am a 'cutter', have been for a very long time, but i dont do it as a fetish or sexual turn on or nething. not when im doing it to myself. but well i really love being dominated during sex, for my partner to take total control, i love being slapped in the face hard, choked, bit, scratched, fucked out in the woods like a rape scene while he rubs dirt in my face, while i am told i am nothing but his dirty slut, shut up and get fucked like a good whore, etc. basically to feel like im being violated used & completely dominated, idk why it just really turns me on. ok so how are these things related u might ask. i never really cut myself as a sexual thing or nething like that but the feeling i get when i get a really good one nd the blood runs down my arm, it doesnt exactly turn me on but gives me that same kind of feeling of craving & release i guess gets me excited in some kind of way thats not quite sexual but close to it. however thats not the reason why i do it, just a side effect of it. the partner i am w/now is the first time i have been w/someone who is as into this dominating stuff as i am. in the past guys wouldnt be able to bring themselves to hit me or hurt me, or if they did it i could tell they didnt like it. but this one could just tell i wanted it and read me like a book from the beginning and he enjoys it as much as i do which turns me on even more to know that were both getting off on it. so lately as i find more & more how much i enjoy this abuse and feeling of helplessness i feel like i really want him to cut me during sex. like right as i am about to cum and start to, for him to just cut me up a bit, somewhere really sensitive like my neck especially. the idea really turns me on and its a fantasy that i really want to fulfill. i would find it so intimate and arousing to be under his control like that, so completely vulnerable and helpless, something about it really turns me on. i also love the sight of the blood and the idea of letting him cut me and seeing the blood all over as im getting fucked seems really erotic. the idea really turns me on. u might think i have a sick mind, maybe u are right, but im just wondering if i am the only person who has ever fantasized about this and if neone here could give me advice on how to approach this subject w/my partner about him doing this to me? if it makes a difference he is also a cutter as well... thx.....
 
for me I draw the line on kinkyness etc when it involves actual self harm

do you feel like cutting yourself or having someone else cut you is alright?

there are some good support threads in TheDarkSide on cutting, or maybe there is a psychologist you feel comfortable talking to who can help you sort some of your root problems out?

if you do convince your boyfriend to cut you (i dont think a lover should do such things), then make sure the blade is clean and has been disinfected with an alcohol swab
 
Don't ever do it. I speak from experience when I say it's not worth it. During a manic episode, accompanied by a lot of alcohol, a few years back my ex suggested it and my deluded mind thought it sounded fantastic. The difference between you cutting yourself and someone doing it for you is that the other person has no idea how much pressure they're putting on until it's too late. I literally have the word " T I T" in scars across my chest because of it.
 
are you not confusing two things here? If you don't get any sexual satisfaction from cutting why add this to the mix? Do you just like the idea of your partner hurting you a bit more than what your getting and jumping to the pain you associate with cutting being the 'one'.

Have you tried some other (not potentially as fatal) forms of submission / control - flogging, stretching, tit clamps, bondage, weights, breath control etc. With cutting there is a very fine line between pleasure and potentially cutting too deeply and ending up dead. Does he know your a cutter ? You both seem pretty open about your sexual preferences so I would go about it the same way you would do with asking for your 'rape scenario'? Cutting areas like the neck, or where major veins etc are located is just asking for trouble (especially if drugs / alcohol is concerned) - you know what its like in the heat of the moment you both may get carried away and do some major damage.

Instead of using cutting as a form of punishment why not use it as something as an intimate pleasure for you - you cut yourself for him (your normal cutting), have him watch, play with you as your doing it etc.
 
Mysterie said:
do you feel like cutting yourself or having someone else cut you is alright?

there are some good support threads in TheDarkSide on cutting, or maybe there is a psychologist you feel comfortable talking to who can help you sort some of your root problems out?
Click to expand...

yea i do think its ok. i mean i wouldnt be doing it if i didnt think it was ok. i appreciate ur concern and dont mean to shoot u down but im not gonna stop cutting and i am not looking for help to stop doing it. if i wanted help w/it i would have asked for help. i am ok with what i do and not looking to change it. thx for trying to help though.

neways...since he also cuts himself i think that he would know how much pressure to use and all that. i am covered with scars neways not really worried about that.


To BearLove, i dont exactly get sexual satisfaction from cutting *myself*, but however i do get some kind of turn on, its hard to explain. its the same way that i would feel when i was addicted to drugs and i would think about big piles of fishscale coke or grams and grams of heroin and boxes of fresh needles. if that makes sense. that same kind of craving and excitement and turn on, that might not be exactly sexual but is something close to it. thats how i feel when i cut and see the blood well up from the lip of the cut and start running down my arm and its covered in blood it just feels so ....good.....i cant explain it but its the same feeling of lust that an addict feels for their drug or that u would feel when u look at someone who is really sexy to u and think about what u would do to them...its not like im getting sexually aroused by doing it to myself but its hitting those same pleasure receptors in my brain i think.

but however when i think about *him* cutting me that *does* arouse me. as i said i like to be dominated severely. i have been choked til my vision starts to get white around the edges just until im about to pass out, slapped hard across the face, scratched, bit really hard leaving lots of dark marks, scratched, hit, all of that stuff which i enjoy. but this is something special. the complete and total trust required for this really, really turns me on. the idea of placing total utter, absolute control into his hands is intensely arousing for me. to be so helpless and vulnerable and under his power is intensely hot. of giving myself over completely to him to do as he wants with me, the thought of the blade caressing my skin, in a very erogenous zone thats already very sensitive, of seeing and feeling the blood, the idea of the pain at the exact same moment of extreme pleasure (this is also why i love getting choked right as i am about to cum) all of it together really. i would love if he cut his initials into me branding me as his whore so i never forget i am owned by him. something like that. all of it ties in together, the domination, being a slave, being owned by him, the cutting and the sexual feelings attached to it and the sexual desire attached to being cut by him wich translates into a form of being owned/dominated by him if that makes a little more sense.
 
^I do understand what your describing - I was just curious by your explanation about cutting becoming sexual if done by somebody else when you don't find it 'sexual' yourself. Giving somebody else the ownership of your life can be VERY fulfilling (not just sexual) and I personally don't have any issues with it - my only concern in your particular case is - he is not a cutter.

Being choked / strangled (breath control) when mixed with bondage is submitting yourself completely to another person but still gives you both a bit of scope between taking it too far and you being killed. With cutting (especially in areas like the neck) if he makes a mistake, or you move, or if your both high (on the act or a drug) then a small cut could be fatal and by the time you realize that something is wrong it would probably be too late.

I love the idea of branding / scarification (I would love a branding with my partners name on me) but having him cut area's of your body which could end up with you dead/ him being charged with murder etc for me removes the pleasure from the act. Have you read anything about edgeplay ? It's kind of what you want to experience but without being cut - if you really want to go ahead and be cut then check out some of the 'wetworks' (bloodplay) sites which will explain how to do it safely.

Failing all the above - put a shower curtain over your bed, It will make cleaning up so much easier and save you staining the sheets ;)
 
Ok, without discussing your sexual preferences and turn-ons, it looks like you could just go ahead and tell him about your fantasy. Why are you asking about the right way to talk about this topic? He seems to appreciate similar (sexual) things as you, so he should be understanding even if he refuses...

As others did, I'll chip in in the sake of harm reduction: did you already tried things such as needles? You've got potentially everything: pain, blood, the possibility of permanent (nerve) damage. But less risk of damages and dying. If you're set on blades please chose locations away from major nerves and blood vessel (towards the shoulder, clavicula or trapezius). And remember that the day will come in which you'll regret having your ex-lover name carved on your skin :p
 
this is coming from a guy... honestly being cut or harmed by a partner during these times especially is a big turn on... my girlfriend of about a year now is basically one of those people who like being held down aka bondage and stuff like that, we are both supporters of this stuff
tbh, its not 'sick' at all. you have a preference and you should be proud... as of asking your partner to do it, ask him first about how he/she would feel and seeing how comfortable they are before even attempting to ask such things. regular everyday ppl may think this is a weird, abusive, inhuman thingnto even think about... but seriously it isnt really. like i said. see what your partner thinks about it, and have pride when asking, dont be shy or afraid or else they will doubt its a personal prefernece and might think you just want to try it.

thank you... hope it goes well i guess
 
I think I have the same concern as most the people who replied already. Having him cut you in dangerous places like your neck could end up with you being dead and him being emotionally scarred for life. I get the cutting thing though and I know the feeling you're talking about. Like you just got your fix and you can breathe finally. At least that's the best I can describe it. And I completely understand the whole being dominated thing. It's not just something you want it's something you need. For me at least, I've never been able to stay in a relationship without it. There's a feeling of security and safety and love that comes with it. From what you've described, it seems like you've gotten more into cutting than I have and like you're preference for domination is deeper than mine. I don't think you're sick or fucked up, I only think you should maybe think twice about having him cut you. It's dangerous for many reasons as others have already stated and as josair pointed out, you would have a permanent reminder of your ex on your body if you were to break up. I also want to point it that him being a cutter himself doesn't mean he'll know how much pressure he's putting when he cuts you because he can't feel it.
You seem pretty adamant about the whole thing so I don't expect anyone to be able to talk you out of it. Especially since from what I gathered, you're not looking for opinions on the decision itself, rather just how to bring it up. From what I gathered, I think you could just bring it up pretty easily. I don't see him freaking out or judging you. Just a suggestion though, if you go through with this, have him practice it when not engaged in a sexual act so you can inform him when he goes to deep. Also I wouldn't do this when drinking or on anything else that would thin your blood or highten blood pressure. If something happens where you need to rush to a hospital, you don't want to shorten the time you have to get help. Stay safe:)
 
Blood play is a thing. Just tell him you stumbled across it online and you found it hot, then gauge his reaction. If he is a cutter as well, it may not be particularly healthy for him (or you) to engage in this, so communicate well and talk everything through properly, be smart, and proceeed with caution if at all.

If you do decide to go ahead, educate yourselves - there is plenty of info out there. Do a LOT of research, and discuss everything before you start. Make sure you're both able to identify and avoid high risk areas, be clean (blades, skin, hands, proper wound aftercare etc.), and make sure you've both been tested and don't have any nasty shit before you start fucking around with blood.

I hope you have good reason to trust this guy enough to be comfortable doing something like this. And make sure neither of you are intoxicated - blood play is risky enough as it is.
 
just be prepared for it to go wrong because you are cutting yourself. there is the risk of unintended injury and later the risk of infection in the wounds. plus you mentioned the neck area. if you have any self preservation at all do not have someone cut your neck, its full of veins alone that will bleed out in minutes. no no no.


obviously you are happy to harm yourself so i dont really know why you want advice?

you sound like you are going to do what you want anyway and all i can say is this behaviour is risky, could lead to infections and there is a difference between bdsm that does not break the skin in terms of risk from that which does. at the same time a lot of people are into strangling which also is dodgy.

good luck
 
I agree with all the above. The neck, although extremely erotic is a bit dangerous. Since you seem set on it, why not try out another body part on the first go? Arms? Then you can still see the blood and he can get a feel for your skin and I'm sure cutting someone else is very different from cutting yourself.
 
"like right as i am about to cum and start to, for him to just cut me up a bit, somewhere really sensitive like my neck especially"

hard to not think troll
 
But Mel, your animatronic bird-form neck is just . . . so long. And that bit of a curve at the end, little kink before the head.

I put the cleaver away, it's safe.
Not into bleeding on sex partners.
 
I hooked up with a woman a couple of times who was into this. He chest and tits were completely scarred up, and I actually found that pretty sexy. I enjoyed the contrast of red on her pale skin, and the way she would put her bloody fingers in her mouth and mine. However, I never got comfortable doing the actual cutting. As an earlier poster mentioned, I had no idea how much pressure was needed, etc. I worried constantly that I would go too deep. I can remember thinking, "What if I hit an artery or something and I'm stuck deciding between hiding the body and finishing grad school or just going to the hospital" LOL.

If you elect to do it, be careful. I only hooked up with her 3 or 4 times, and haven't seen her in years. I heard she contracted Hepatitis later on.
 
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