Fam: London's gangster stars

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FAM.4.0: I need a wheel man who isn't going to panic, and isn't just going to bail on me at the first whiff of trouble.

For some reason I keep going back to Jonathan. But those ears...! Emyr?

I'll go with Jonathan.

M.4.1: Shel, Trace, Kels, and Siobhan out front. Unleash the females for maximum damage.

M.4.2: I'll take the heat. Chalky and Richie (I'm not sure if it's Richie or the Capo I can't use?). Hit the Grow Op fast and hard.

If I have access to the Capo instead, send him. He needs seasoning behind bars if he can't hit this place, so send him in with Chalky, who I feel is loyal.

M.4.3: Team up Harsh Don Dem and Dmitri and mow them down. All brawn.

M.4.4: Crime is thirsty work. I'll put up 40 points of what's left of my rep. Gotta build it back up and let loose.
 
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After much deliberation, the plan is complete:

4.0 - Shaun is the driver. The kid's a pro and one of his biggest benefits is that he looks like a well-to-do gentry's son. Cops don't want to mess with him for fear of losing their jobs.

4.1 "The Chicken Shop" - I'm sending in the Tuti Nangs as this is perfect work for them. Shel/Trace/Kels, plus Siobahn to head the affair. I thought about adding Leon but he's new, plus everyone knows he works best alone.

4.2 "Grow Op" - I'm putting Chalky and Richie on it to coordinate and execute, and Dimitri for a very special purpose, which is to brutally eviscerate the first guard before they know they have trouble. The sheer intimidation factor will throw the rest off guard while Chalky and Richie clean it up, seasoned professionals that they are.

4.3 "Kerb Dawg" - I'm putting the Harsh Dom Man Dems on the case, headed by Justin himself. There might be a lot of punks to shank, and although I think zkerb Dawg is all talk, you never know. Justin will handle Kerb Dawg personally since we can't let the insults stand, it would be bad for reputation.

4.4 "Fucking Party ay?" - I'm going to invest 100 reputation into this party. I have little doubt it will go off perfectly as my BF Mikey is the party planner and that boy is a wizard...
 
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I'm eagerly awaiting to results of this round... in the meantime, I'm off vacationing in Rio, doing tons of blow, 4-MMC, 6-APB, and DOPr with Mikey and some of the Tutti Nangs.
 
We're still jamming at the bash! ?

Still, we need to know how it went down. ?
 
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YOUR CHOICES ARE BEING ANALYSED
YOUR DECISIONS ARE BEING SCRUTINISED
YOUR RESULTS ARE BEING CALCULATED

...​

SOON
 
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Oh mighty gamesmaster, please permit me the rest of today to get my submission in. I promise I will fuck up somewhat less going forward.
 
HOW TO SPOT A CRIMINAL

HERE WE HAVE DAVID HOLYOAK a.k.a. "SHREK"
INFORMED STUDENTS OF CRIMINAL PSYCHOLOGY WILL KNOW THAT JUG EARS ARE ONE OF THE CLASSIC SIGNIFIERS OF A CRIMINAL:

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SHREK​
WHAT THE POLICE SAID OF HIM:
"This man only needs to look at himself in the mirror to realise armed robbery is not for him. With his big ears and rotund features he stands out a mile and the officers would have no trouble spotting him. He must be a total liability when he is part of a gang. He has already been dubbed Shrek and must be one of the ugliest robbers in the country."


HERE WE HAVE CAYLAN CLOSSICK a.k.a. "WINGNUT".
INFORMED STUDENTS OF CRIMINAL PSYCHOLOGY WILL KNOW THAT JUG EARS ARE ONE OF THE CLASSIC SIGNIFIERS OF A CRIMINAL

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WINGNUT​

WHAT THE POLICE SAID OF HIM:
Wanted for questioning in a suspected burglary. If anyone finds him remember these three rules
1. No bright lights
2. Don't get him wet
3. Never feed him after midnight, no matter how much he begs

THOSE EARS EVEN CAST THEIR OWN SHADOW FFS!
 
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4.0 Danny Danny looks like he's one of those young prodigy drivers like Ansel Elgort's "Baby" from Baby Driver. I considered Shaun, but he looks like a psycho. Not the good kind. The kind that drives Uber all day and then fillets women at night in his garage. Emyr and Jonathan look like dependable criminals but not exactly skilled drivers.

4.1 I'm teaming up Harsh Don Man Dem with Dimitri for this one. This is a simple mission but requires man power and someone crazy enough to rush in and instill fear in the enemy. The crazed Russian Dimitri will cause pandemonium while the others quickly and effectively get the job done.

4.2 Tuti Nang and Chalky will headline this affair. Leon will only be there to assist in creating a diversion and will largely work independently from the others. He's new and this will be a valuable opportunity to prove his value.

4.3 This is a big fucking deal and I'm not taking any chances. I'm sending in Siobhan, Richie, and Capo Bastone. Siobhan is a badass, plain and simple. Richie's effectiveness is maximized by working with Capo Bastone. And I want the Top Dog's youngest there for this most crucial leg. This part needs to be quick and precise with no mistakes.

I know it's risky grouping all the heavy hitters together, but I feel I have utilized all my assets in the best possible way given the tasks.

4.4 I've got a reputation to uphold and I ain't no bitch. I'm letting my balls hang loose and putting up 150 REP on this motherfucker. Fuck it. Steelo is my ace in the hole and he's not letting me down.
 

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LONDON'S GANGSTER STARS


WITH:

KRISTIAN "ANGEL" McCANN​


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"Listen. I'm gonna tell you something, and he'll tell you too.
When it comes to the action, I'm as good as anybody, and don't forget it."


EPISODE #4
IN THE DARK ALL CATS ARE GREY​

For this episode of FAM you are KRISTIAN "ANGEL" MCCANN the CAPO BASTONE and theENFORCER of the DALEY FAM, the number-two guy. You are due to pull a caper at a private bank in Knightsbridge. Your team comprises you, a hacker, a spotter, two shooters and a driver.

You get a phone call from the driver, he has had a serious accident at home doing d.i.y. over the weekend.

You are unwilling to abandon such a well planned job so late in the day.

You've put the word out in the usual places and you have been approached by six candidates each sound like sure fire getaway drivers able to boost a vehicle suitable for the job and outdrive any potential pursuit.

Let's look at the candidates:

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DANNY LUCK​

DECIDED TO BOOST A BMW M3 SALOON 2017 MODEL AS HE SAW ONE PARKED UP WITH ITS ENGINE RUNNING. HE THREATENED THE OLD LADY DRIVING IT WITH A PAIR OF SCISSORS. THE OWNER AND HER PASSENGERS GOT OUT AND DANNY LUCK GOT IN

THE 2017 M3 COMES WITH A BESPOKE DUAL CLUTCH GEARBOX WITH A UNIQUE SELECTION PATTERN

DOPEY DANNY COULDN'T GET THE BEEMER INTO DRIVE. HE THEN RAN OFF, PURSUED BY THE PASSENGERS. AFTER ARREST HE ASSAULTED A POLICE CONSTABLE

TOOK KRISTIAN "ANGEL" McCANN DOWN WITH HIM
RUINED THE REPUTATION OF FAM
SNITCHED TO PLOD ABOUT FAM INCREASING THE HEAT

VERDICT: HOODY WEARING TEENAGE SCOUSER i.e. A MORONIC, MINDLESS DELINQUENT.




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EMYR JONES​

BOOSTED A TRANSIT VAN. THOUGHT A BOTTLE OF WHISKY WOULD BE USEFUL TO CALM HIS PRE-JOB NERVES. CRASHED THE VEHICLE DRIVING AWAY FROM THE BANK, KILLING A PEDESTRIAN AND SERIOUSLY INJURING ANOTHER.

TOOK ALL OF THE TEAM DOWN WITH HIM EXCEPT FOR THE HACKER.
RUINED THE REPUTATION OF FAM
SNITCHED TO PLOD ABOUT FAM INCREASING THE HEAT

VERDICT: OBVIOUSLY AN OUT AND OUT GRASS - GINGER HAIR, BALDING, SURLY MOUTH AND SNAKE EYES




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SHAUN GOLDSTRAW
​
WAS "STOKED" TO BE PICKED FOR THE JOB. BOOSTED A RENAULT CLIO GT-LINE, "THE DIRTIEST CAR ON THE ROAD" HE BOASTED. ON LEARNING OF THE LOCATION OF THE BANK WENT "SITING LAPS" TO PRACTICE GETAWAY ROUTES
C.C.T.V. CAPTURED HIM DOING SPEEDS IN EXCESS OF 107MPH BEFORE HE CRASHED HEAD FIRST INTO A MERCEDES KILLING THE TWO OCCUPANTS

TOOK KRISTIAN "ANGEL" McCANN DOWN WITH HIM
RUINED THE REPUTATION OF FAM
SNITCHED TO PLOD ABOUT FAM INCREASING THE HEAT

VERDICT: RECKLESS, LACKING IN SKILL, EXPERIENCE AND MATURITY





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DAN TICKTUM​

DAN TICKTUM IS A BRITISH RACING DRIVER. CURRENT MEMBER OF THE RED BULL RACING TEAM, WHICH HE JOINED IN 2017. ACHIEVMENTS INCLUDE 7TH PLACE IN THE EUROCUP FORMULA RENAULT 2.0 WITH ARDEN, VICTORY IN THE 2017 MACAU GRAND PRIX, VICTORY IN THE 2017 McLAREN AUTOSPORT BRDC AWARD. CURRENTLY COMPETING IN THE FIA FORMULA 3 CHAMPIONSHIP WITH TEAM MOTOPARK

BOOSTED A 2018 SILVER AUDI A8L WITH DIPLOMATIC PLATES THAT WASN'T REPORTED AS STOLEN FOR THREE WEEKS AFTER THE HEIST. SOME SUPERB DRIVING IN THE CITY SHOOK OFF THE HAPLESS PURSUIT MOUNTED BY THE POLICE. DROVE TO AN UNDERGROUND CAR PARK WHERE HE HAD PREVIOUSLY BOOSTED A BLACK 2018 MERCEDES BENZ AMG C 43 COUPE. THE DRIVE TO THE SAFE HOUSE IN BUCKINGHAMSHIRE WAS QUIET AND UNEVENTFUL. KRISTIAN WAS "OVER THE MOON WITH THE LAD" AND INSISTED USING HIM AGAIN.

VERDICT: "DAN IS THE DRIVER FOR US IN 2019. TO BE PART OF FAM YOU HAVE TO BE THE VERY BEST AND THAT'S WHY I WANT DAN ON EVERY JOB. FAM EXPECTS HIM TO PERFORM AND HE IS SIMPLY THE BEST GETAWAY DRIVER EVER".
KRISTIAN "ANGEL" MCcCANN





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JONATHON EDWARDS​

BOOSTED A TOYOTA COROLLA, WHILST DRIVING FAM FROM THE BANK HIT SPEEDS IN EXCESS OF 70MPH IN A 30MPH ZONE. HE CRASHED INTO A HOUSE, STRAIGHT THROUGH THE WALL AND ENDED UP IN THE LIVING ROOM CAUSING £17,000 WORTH OF DAMAGE.

PREVIOUS CONVICTIONS = 119.

TOOK ALL OF THE TEAM DOWN WITH HIM EXCEPT FOR THE HACKER.
RUINED THE REPUTATION OF FAM
SNITCHED TO PLOD ABOUT FAM INCREASING THE HEAT

VERDICT: JUST LOOK AT HIS EARS




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RAY WILLIAMS​

BOOSTED A J.C.B. AS HE MISUNDERSTOOD THE BRIEF, THOUGHT HE WAS RIPPING A CASH POINT MACHINE OUT OF A WALL. BEING HIGH AS A MOTHERFUCKER HE NEVER MADE IT TO THE RENDEZVOUS WITH FAM AS HE WAS STOPPED SWERVING AROUND IN THE J.C.B. BY POLICE ON THE WAY AND ARRESTED.

TOOK KRISTIAN "ANGEL" McCANN DOWN WITH HIM
RUINED THE REPUTATION OF FAM
SNITCHED TO PLOD ABOUT FAM INCREASING THE HEAT

VERDICT: DEEP IN THE GRIP OF A HEROIN ADDICTION HE HAS DECIDED TO "TRY" AND BE A CRIMINAL. FAIL.

SO HOW DID
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FARE?​
 
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