Hi there! New poster here (though I've used bluelight for quite some time now), so I'm sorry if I mess it up at all.
Anyway, I've been using MDMA pills for less than a year. When I first started, I rolled every weekend. I eventually had to space them to every 2 weeks due to increasingly bad comedowns (but nothing really horrible). But as of lately my significant other has asked that we take 1 month breaks between rolls, which has been extremely hard for me considering, if given the choice, I'd still be rolling every weekend.
All that being said, after waiting (almost) a month since my last roll, I took some "moon rocks" this past weekend. I was told it was pure MDMA so I expected something amazing but for some reason.... I felt nada. I mean, there was a nice feeling of relaxation and overall chillness, but nothing too different from how I feel on norcos (which I use heavily, but doubt its relevant). I kept trying to take more and at some point snorted it, but still nothing really. I suspect it was cut to shit, but I'm not sure as the significant other used a small amount at another time and was rolling so hard he vomited.
What I DID end up with however was the worst come down I've ever had. I became extremely depressed and burst into tears several times. I was up all night with suicidal thoughts. And all of that stuff is very uncharacteristic of me. I think what made me so depressed was the fact that I had felt no roll to compensate for this come down, and I wasn't sure when I could roll again. I'm busy the next two weekends (which is unusual for me as I don't get out much)
The next day I had still felt kind of cracked out as though I had rolled. I wasnt having a meltdown anymore, but I was still bummed about the failed roll that I had patiently waited nearly a month for. Actually, I'm still depressed about it now which is probably why I'm posting here. (The moon rocks happened Friday and its now Sunday morning)
I guess heres the question: I dont think the depression will stop until I roll again. I want to try it with some pills we have that I know will work, because I've used them before and they were fantastic. I'm thinking of calling off work tomorrow and just dropping them tonight...HOWEVER, I'm afraid that despite not "feeling it", the mdma might have still had some effect on my brain, and rolling now would just lead to another bad comedown (I've rolled twice in the same weekend before and the second comedown was NOT fun.). I honestly don't want to feel even half the comedown I felt friday night, but on the other hand I can't stand the thought of going into the next week without having rolled this weekend. To be honest I don't lead a very eventful life, and these rolls are kind of all I have going for me.
Does your serotonin still deplete, even when you don't feel much of anything? Or will I have to wait another two weeks? Thanks so much for your time!
Anyway, I've been using MDMA pills for less than a year. When I first started, I rolled every weekend. I eventually had to space them to every 2 weeks due to increasingly bad comedowns (but nothing really horrible). But as of lately my significant other has asked that we take 1 month breaks between rolls, which has been extremely hard for me considering, if given the choice, I'd still be rolling every weekend.
All that being said, after waiting (almost) a month since my last roll, I took some "moon rocks" this past weekend. I was told it was pure MDMA so I expected something amazing but for some reason.... I felt nada. I mean, there was a nice feeling of relaxation and overall chillness, but nothing too different from how I feel on norcos (which I use heavily, but doubt its relevant). I kept trying to take more and at some point snorted it, but still nothing really. I suspect it was cut to shit, but I'm not sure as the significant other used a small amount at another time and was rolling so hard he vomited.
What I DID end up with however was the worst come down I've ever had. I became extremely depressed and burst into tears several times. I was up all night with suicidal thoughts. And all of that stuff is very uncharacteristic of me. I think what made me so depressed was the fact that I had felt no roll to compensate for this come down, and I wasn't sure when I could roll again. I'm busy the next two weekends (which is unusual for me as I don't get out much)
The next day I had still felt kind of cracked out as though I had rolled. I wasnt having a meltdown anymore, but I was still bummed about the failed roll that I had patiently waited nearly a month for. Actually, I'm still depressed about it now which is probably why I'm posting here. (The moon rocks happened Friday and its now Sunday morning)
I guess heres the question: I dont think the depression will stop until I roll again. I want to try it with some pills we have that I know will work, because I've used them before and they were fantastic. I'm thinking of calling off work tomorrow and just dropping them tonight...HOWEVER, I'm afraid that despite not "feeling it", the mdma might have still had some effect on my brain, and rolling now would just lead to another bad comedown (I've rolled twice in the same weekend before and the second comedown was NOT fun.). I honestly don't want to feel even half the comedown I felt friday night, but on the other hand I can't stand the thought of going into the next week without having rolled this weekend. To be honest I don't lead a very eventful life, and these rolls are kind of all I have going for me.
Does your serotonin still deplete, even when you don't feel much of anything? Or will I have to wait another two weeks? Thanks so much for your time!