lyricabuddy
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2011
- Messages
- 111
I've been using nitrous quite a bit over the past couple months, like heavily every other weekend, as well as amphetamines and several other drugs which would be considered more benign, but the point is that I feel that any time I get too drug oriented and sacrifice sleep and nutrition, I never know what I am going to get each time I do nos, however up to this point Ive been able to roll with it.
Just last night, I had already been up all night the night before doing absurd amounts of dexedrine and I thought to myself, what better way to take my mind off the comedown before I go to bed than a box of chargers. I was driving in my car on the way back from the store and for whatever reason the first his I took created this electric vibe within my car and everything seemed to come to life in a big way. It was by no means a stronger version of a normal nos trip, this was something entirely different, like I could feel this invisible energy begin to surround me. On the second and third hit my car turned into a full blown nightclub where everything was colorful and oscillating to the music and there was even a dj in the back seat as if he was running the show for me poking his hear RIGHT up next to me as if to say "we're here, I hope you're ready to party". Also the bass seemed to be hugely amplified and every note was animated in a way that made it so novel and drew me into it like I never thought possible.
like I said, I was driving during all of this and cognitively speaking, I felt sober, unlike something like shrooms or lsd where you're basically in a dream state the whole time. The high I was experiencing was more about the energy and sheer amazement of seeing something that appeared SO real and being able to take it all in with FULL cognition I had no other choice at the time than to accept it as a gift from a supernatural force taking place around me, for me. The high was ALL about witnessing something so special and feeling so privlaged where the energy was pure joy, not intoxication from the nos itself. In fact, I was easily able to maintain my focus on the road despite all of this going on around me (not trying to justify). So to witness these events from a sober perspective was so intense it felt like winning the lottery like I was somehow chosen by beings from another reality because I was in one way or another 'deserving' amongst the millions and millions of people to see something this magnificent.
Whats more is each successive hit would be an entirely new trip from the one before filled with a new setting and characters within my car which kept getting more and more elaborate and 'over the top' from one to the next as if the creators of these hallucinations were trying to REALLY put on a show for me (JUST like it would be more entertaining for us to watch somebody on reality tv be put through something over the top to watch his reaction or provide him with extreme joy and awe filled moments such as in extreme home makeover). Initially, it was just a generic dj in the back seat bumping the tunes on tuntables as if controlling the radio, but then it got even crazier when out of the blue I had kanye, then Jay Z, rapping right next to me, mike in hand, FOR me like it was my show not to mention the various shapes and colors moving in tandem to the music to create something that really looked like a planned out show. Their figures were like holograms and not exact images but more like the shadow / aura of their presence, just enough that you could tell it was supposed to be them.
The reason all this was so profound is 1. like I said my cognition felt like I was in a sober state as in i was taking one hit of nos maybe every3 - 4 min -not enough to make me feel fucked up, but it somehow triggered this alternate reality that seemed to last forever. so to have such a tangible, ongoing hallucination hit me like witnessinng a miracle happen vs. accepting your experience in terms of being fucked up. and 2. the nature of these hallucinations were so elaborate, so seemingly deliberate in terms of creating the ultimate over the top experience, that I truly feel like they were planned out and given to me by something from another world. For example, at first, I had no idea what was going on and I witnessed the images of kanye and jay z BEFORE i could have ever conceived them on my own. I got the strong sense that I was being LED from each mini trip to the next.
Then, I thought I would try the same thing today to see if it still would work - still sleep deprived and on dexedrine i thought it probably would. To my amazement, very first hit i see this faint swirling of like a purple vapor occur before me (something that would NEVER happen before and ive always binged on nos) I was getting ready to be amazed when something went severely wrong. Second hit, now I'm really feeling it. I feel the same energy taking over my body just like before, only this time it felt more like static electricity and I could feel all my hair start to stand up (something I automatically associated with something evil like out of paranormal activity) Then I heard something whispering in my ear, then a pop from my back seat loud enough to really freak me out. So of course I stopped thinking okay, I'll just resume once I get back to my apartment. Things went from bad to worse. I'll spare the buildup, but eventually what ended up happening was I was hearing shit inside my head, then it came out my ear and started tickling me on my ear as if to say something along the lines of "you better believe we are real", but at this point it was still subtlle enough to chalk it up to sleep deprivation and I still thought it was just auditory. But then when I was like "no, fuck off, I know you're not real, I felt something like REALLY felt something retreat back into my ear, then crawl up and over my brain and burrow into the left side of my brain. It was as real as it gets, there was no questioning I felt it.
At that point I put down the nos and decided its not worth it to try ever again since this isnt the first time ive felt like ive been hijacked by something else in one way or another while doing nos.
My question is, has something like this ever happened to anyone else and also, about feeling something burrow inside and alll around my brain, how is it possible to hallucinate this if its never even crossed my mind in the past? It's not like it was some fear of mine that was being brought out by the nos... And its not like I was so fucked up on nos when it happened that I was dreaming it, at that point I could hhave easily held a conversation with someone. Lets say the hallucination did originate from my own conciousness because, scientifically, it would have to for me to see it, where did the idea for IT as a hallucination in my brains inventory of potential hallucinations come from? Its not like I was on DMT where the sky is the limit, To have something this random happen in a way that felt this real really raised concerns that maybe there is something really fucking with me. Sorry I got so carried away with this post but I would highly value your comments. Thanks
Just last night, I had already been up all night the night before doing absurd amounts of dexedrine and I thought to myself, what better way to take my mind off the comedown before I go to bed than a box of chargers. I was driving in my car on the way back from the store and for whatever reason the first his I took created this electric vibe within my car and everything seemed to come to life in a big way. It was by no means a stronger version of a normal nos trip, this was something entirely different, like I could feel this invisible energy begin to surround me. On the second and third hit my car turned into a full blown nightclub where everything was colorful and oscillating to the music and there was even a dj in the back seat as if he was running the show for me poking his hear RIGHT up next to me as if to say "we're here, I hope you're ready to party". Also the bass seemed to be hugely amplified and every note was animated in a way that made it so novel and drew me into it like I never thought possible.
like I said, I was driving during all of this and cognitively speaking, I felt sober, unlike something like shrooms or lsd where you're basically in a dream state the whole time. The high I was experiencing was more about the energy and sheer amazement of seeing something that appeared SO real and being able to take it all in with FULL cognition I had no other choice at the time than to accept it as a gift from a supernatural force taking place around me, for me. The high was ALL about witnessing something so special and feeling so privlaged where the energy was pure joy, not intoxication from the nos itself. In fact, I was easily able to maintain my focus on the road despite all of this going on around me (not trying to justify). So to witness these events from a sober perspective was so intense it felt like winning the lottery like I was somehow chosen by beings from another reality because I was in one way or another 'deserving' amongst the millions and millions of people to see something this magnificent.
Whats more is each successive hit would be an entirely new trip from the one before filled with a new setting and characters within my car which kept getting more and more elaborate and 'over the top' from one to the next as if the creators of these hallucinations were trying to REALLY put on a show for me (JUST like it would be more entertaining for us to watch somebody on reality tv be put through something over the top to watch his reaction or provide him with extreme joy and awe filled moments such as in extreme home makeover). Initially, it was just a generic dj in the back seat bumping the tunes on tuntables as if controlling the radio, but then it got even crazier when out of the blue I had kanye, then Jay Z, rapping right next to me, mike in hand, FOR me like it was my show not to mention the various shapes and colors moving in tandem to the music to create something that really looked like a planned out show. Their figures were like holograms and not exact images but more like the shadow / aura of their presence, just enough that you could tell it was supposed to be them.
The reason all this was so profound is 1. like I said my cognition felt like I was in a sober state as in i was taking one hit of nos maybe every3 - 4 min -not enough to make me feel fucked up, but it somehow triggered this alternate reality that seemed to last forever. so to have such a tangible, ongoing hallucination hit me like witnessinng a miracle happen vs. accepting your experience in terms of being fucked up. and 2. the nature of these hallucinations were so elaborate, so seemingly deliberate in terms of creating the ultimate over the top experience, that I truly feel like they were planned out and given to me by something from another world. For example, at first, I had no idea what was going on and I witnessed the images of kanye and jay z BEFORE i could have ever conceived them on my own. I got the strong sense that I was being LED from each mini trip to the next.
Then, I thought I would try the same thing today to see if it still would work - still sleep deprived and on dexedrine i thought it probably would. To my amazement, very first hit i see this faint swirling of like a purple vapor occur before me (something that would NEVER happen before and ive always binged on nos) I was getting ready to be amazed when something went severely wrong. Second hit, now I'm really feeling it. I feel the same energy taking over my body just like before, only this time it felt more like static electricity and I could feel all my hair start to stand up (something I automatically associated with something evil like out of paranormal activity) Then I heard something whispering in my ear, then a pop from my back seat loud enough to really freak me out. So of course I stopped thinking okay, I'll just resume once I get back to my apartment. Things went from bad to worse. I'll spare the buildup, but eventually what ended up happening was I was hearing shit inside my head, then it came out my ear and started tickling me on my ear as if to say something along the lines of "you better believe we are real", but at this point it was still subtlle enough to chalk it up to sleep deprivation and I still thought it was just auditory. But then when I was like "no, fuck off, I know you're not real, I felt something like REALLY felt something retreat back into my ear, then crawl up and over my brain and burrow into the left side of my brain. It was as real as it gets, there was no questioning I felt it.
At that point I put down the nos and decided its not worth it to try ever again since this isnt the first time ive felt like ive been hijacked by something else in one way or another while doing nos.
My question is, has something like this ever happened to anyone else and also, about feeling something burrow inside and alll around my brain, how is it possible to hallucinate this if its never even crossed my mind in the past? It's not like it was some fear of mine that was being brought out by the nos... And its not like I was so fucked up on nos when it happened that I was dreaming it, at that point I could hhave easily held a conversation with someone. Lets say the hallucination did originate from my own conciousness because, scientifically, it would have to for me to see it, where did the idea for IT as a hallucination in my brains inventory of potential hallucinations come from? Its not like I was on DMT where the sky is the limit, To have something this random happen in a way that felt this real really raised concerns that maybe there is something really fucking with me. Sorry I got so carried away with this post but I would highly value your comments. Thanks