Heroin eh, words.

[Slapchop220]

open letter to heroin.




because like a girl with a awesome vagina, you are on my mind constantly. your warm metaphorical blanket just to wrap myself up in as a barrier from the world. i can get lost in how you pin point my eyes. how you make each cigarettet taste great. how you make life greater. in EVERY aspect. except sex.. lots of disappointed girls. anyways my sweet. here i am listening to city and colour, coming back from my fourth relapse.. made it 150 days though, i guess. i only used for literally a week, and yet you are scaring the shit out of me like some psycho ex girlfriend jealous of my new sobriety. right now i feel fine, completely. TIRED from lack of no sleep and the restless arms.but none the less i can eat and drink. trying to smoke as much weed as i can trying to escape my thoughts of knowing its only a phone call away. heroin.. we need to talk, you cant keep coming into my life like a damn tornado just to leave me standing there with nothing. NOTHING. lost the first girl i ever truly loved who had my wonderful beautiful child, lost my self respect. lost everything that mattered to me. but i was content with it? now i see how happy she is and it kills me knowing i couldve given her that. i have deep bruises all over my body from doing cocaine and heroin. the gnarly abcess', the playing rock paper scissors with each shot with the devil. im writing this to get this all out of my head, because i honestly cant take not having friends, family, or anyone close who knows what im going through and how much of a constant struggle it is TO NOT DO IT. see, ive lived by that every time i quit.." the drugs will always be there, ALWAYS, the hard part is staying clean".. I CAN DO IT. SO CAN YOU. Because no one should have to lose their family. no one should have to be on the hunt risking their WHOLE life just trying to chase a high that does nothing but fill a metaphorical void. its not fair, youre so good and yet you cause so many problems. i think ive finally smoked enough weed to fall asleep. so, im posting this, and if i decide to update it then i will cause i still have so much to say to you, you filthy little life ruining warmest softest blanket ive ever had..


lets try this again.
good luck.

 

[BeatTheSickness]

this is beautiful man. you should post this is the sober living forum I'm sure everyone would get a kick out of it

 

[michele1993]

my name is Michele, I am a recovery heroin addict, I have two years and I know how bad life can be. I was 22 years old and 77lbs, my organs were failing by the time I over dosed and was life flights to the hospital. i look back all the time saying wow that shit was screwed up but it makes you feel so good..how could it destroy so much? cause so much pain, and this letter you wrote sums it all up, I love what you wrote, I am also a writer and just wanted to say this really hit home for me. thank you.
-M

 

[Slapchop220]

thanks guys. i was able to get like 4 hours of sleep. still alot on my mind about this stupid drug. BUT i got stuff to do today well to try to power through anyways. later tonight maybe ill write a little more. i am by no means a writer, in fact english was my worst subject in high school. lol.

 

[cjh1221]

You don't have to be a good writer. It's therapuric to just let it out. They are your thoughts and feelings, they don't even have to make sense to anyone but you, although I have a feeling many, many of us know exactly how you're feeling. Please try to remember you're not alone in this, I know just about anyone here on Blulight would be happy to PM with you if you ever just need to talk or vent. It's nice when you have no one IRL who understands to be able to feel a connection to someone, especially some one who gets it. Write away brother, it's not only beautiful but it helps us all feel a little less alone in this.

Don't forget that you ARE strong enough to get through this dark tunnel and come out the other side feeling better than ever. Take it one day, one hour, hell even one minute at a time if you've got to . You can do i it and by keeping this thread updated we can cheer you along, maybe get some inspiration to help ourselves, and offer support, a caring ear, and a broad set of shoulders to lean on. Let us carry some of your burden, you would do it for any of us.

Being addicts, we already feel like outcasts from society, and like we are different and bad. Let us help you see that you are strong and can make it through this, let us help shoulder your load and hold your hand until you can walk the path stronger and better than ever before.

Namaste

 

[shadowstryker]

You don't have to be a good writer. It's therapuric to just let it out. They are your thoughts and feelings, they don't even have to make sense to anyone but you, although I have a feeling many, many of us know exactly how you're feeling. Please try to remember you're not alone in this, I know just about anyone here on Blulight would be happy to PM with you if you ever just need to talk or vent. It's nice when you have no one IRL who understands to be able to feel a connection to someone, especially some one who gets it. Write away brother, it's not only beautiful but it helps us all feel a little less alone in this.

Don't forget that you ARE strong enough to get through this dark tunnel and come out the other side feeling better than ever. Take it one day, one hour, hell even one minute at a time if you've got to . You can do i it and by keeping this thread updated we can cheer you along, maybe get some inspiration to help ourselves, and offer support, a caring ear, and a broad set of shoulders to lean on. Let us carry some of your burden, you would do it for any of us.

Being addicts, we already feel like outcasts from society, and like we are different and bad. Let us help you see that you are strong and can make it through this, let us help shoulder your load and hold your hand until you can walk the path stronger and better than ever before.

Namaste

Agreed in that it's really helpful to write things out. I find it much more useful to write it out on paper however. For example, in rehab I was recommended to write a letter to everyone I have wronged and those who have wronged me, whether it be human or drug. Ya don't have to send the letters, just writing em out helps.

Given I am no longer in recovery and I'm currently using again, it still helped with getting confusing feelings out.