aperson444
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2013
- Messages
- 7
Hello everyone,
I have seen a thread in the BDD archives on drugs that increase confidence in general, but I wanted to see if I'd get the same response for this situation: suppose one has an actual diagnosed (professionally diagnosed) disorder that severely impacts confidence (especially, but not limited to social confidence). What drugs would be optimal for boosting confidence such that the individual can perform normally in the stressful situations?
My problem has been ongoing for most of my life, but I was only recently (<4 years ago) diagnosed with two disorders that can affect confidence a lot. I've tried the conventional routes: psychotherapy and medication. I've also tried some alternative treatments (meditation mostly). While I have made progress significantly, the progress is typically very slow and there are often major setbacks. I'll spare the details. Basically, I avoid social interactions, I function awkwardly in such cases, I lack self-confidence, and often lapse into periods of suicidal ideation. Now I'm convinced that psychotherapy isn't going to work. I more or less already know the roots of my issues, so classical psychotherapy won't help a whole lot. Cognitive therapy has not been working very well because my thought process always lapses back to the same destructive cycle (no matter how aware I am of it). I have gained the most benefit out of (conventional) medication, but it has been limited and has taken a toll on my quality of life. Right now, I am convinced that a "recreational" drug or a dose of a conventional drug that can be considered "recreational" will help.
This is what I am taking right now:
Sertraline, 150 mg
Bupropion XR, 300 mg
I have taken fluoxetine up to a decently high dose, but it stopped working after a while, so sertraline was the next option. Unfortunately, I am starting to notice the tolerance effect of SSRIs. For the most part sertraline has increased apathy more than it has benefited me. Bupropion is a terrible stimulant and has side effects that I really do not like. I have also taken lorazepam, but for a different purpose (sleep). It too simply increased my apathy towards everything and anything.
Here is what I have taken recreationally:
Cannabis -- This one has helped me relax and lose some of my inhibitions, but it mostly makes me more hesitant and introverted. Also, it has become a burden to hide the smell of the substance.
Hydrocodone -- Up to 22.5 mg, this has had a similar effect as lorazepam. Induces a numb, apathetic feeling.
Amphetamine -- Up to 60 mg of mixed amphetamine salts. I get a boost in confidence when it comes to academic things (i.e taking tests), but I cannot focus well enough to channel my energy into constructive interactions.
MDA -- One experience at 200 mg. This was synthesized by a very dear friend of mine, so I am certain of its purity. I was not in a great mental state at the time, and the SSRI medications dampened the effects. Incredible experience and the closest I have come to full loss of inhibition.
LSD -- Twice. Dosage was probably around 120 micrograms. Great for introspection and really gave me a new view on life, but it did not give me any benefit in the field of social anxiety.
25c-NBoMe -- Multiple times, max dosage at 1.2 milligrams. Terrible for confidence/social situations. Great experience, but not what I'm looking for.
Alcohol -- Depresses my psychological state, makes me obnoxiously pessimistic, and I puke very easily.
Clonazepam -- Up to 4 mg. Not bad, but it really seemed to work better than a sleep aid than an anxiolytic.
Cyclobenzaprine -- Up to 20 mg? Strangely, this did help me gain confidence in the sense that I was able to act like a complete douchebag to someone, but more in a pessimistic "you suck" manner. This was combined with lorazepam (2 mg) and hydrocodone (7.5 mg). The combination was not unlike alcohol, but with a larger amount of apathy.
Ideas:
- Cocaine: Classic stimulant... Short lasting, but enormous confidence boost. My dear friend has a similar problem and has recently obtained around 0.2 grams, and he is running trials as we speak.
- Ketamine/MXE: NMDA antagonists seem to be helpful for treatment resistant depression. They also impact neuroplasticity, and could potentially help to modify the stubborn circuitry that drives my problem.
-Opiates (Hydromorphone, Morphine, Heroin): I can only see these substances making me apathetic enough to simply not care what other people think or if people are looking at me.
- SNDRI/Triple-reuptake inhibitors: Cocaine is an example, but methylphenidate is an NDRI. Seeing as how bupropion has weakly improved my energy levels and ability to approach people, these compounds (NDRIs) could potentially help.
- High doses of psychedelics: Potential implications in neuroplasticity (I think?), but I've yet to see evidence that high doses of LSD/psilocybin can aid social anxiety or confidence problems.
Any experiences that anyone would like to share? Feedback is greatly appreciated.
I have seen a thread in the BDD archives on drugs that increase confidence in general, but I wanted to see if I'd get the same response for this situation: suppose one has an actual diagnosed (professionally diagnosed) disorder that severely impacts confidence (especially, but not limited to social confidence). What drugs would be optimal for boosting confidence such that the individual can perform normally in the stressful situations?
My problem has been ongoing for most of my life, but I was only recently (<4 years ago) diagnosed with two disorders that can affect confidence a lot. I've tried the conventional routes: psychotherapy and medication. I've also tried some alternative treatments (meditation mostly). While I have made progress significantly, the progress is typically very slow and there are often major setbacks. I'll spare the details. Basically, I avoid social interactions, I function awkwardly in such cases, I lack self-confidence, and often lapse into periods of suicidal ideation. Now I'm convinced that psychotherapy isn't going to work. I more or less already know the roots of my issues, so classical psychotherapy won't help a whole lot. Cognitive therapy has not been working very well because my thought process always lapses back to the same destructive cycle (no matter how aware I am of it). I have gained the most benefit out of (conventional) medication, but it has been limited and has taken a toll on my quality of life. Right now, I am convinced that a "recreational" drug or a dose of a conventional drug that can be considered "recreational" will help.
This is what I am taking right now:
Sertraline, 150 mg
Bupropion XR, 300 mg
I have taken fluoxetine up to a decently high dose, but it stopped working after a while, so sertraline was the next option. Unfortunately, I am starting to notice the tolerance effect of SSRIs. For the most part sertraline has increased apathy more than it has benefited me. Bupropion is a terrible stimulant and has side effects that I really do not like. I have also taken lorazepam, but for a different purpose (sleep). It too simply increased my apathy towards everything and anything.
Here is what I have taken recreationally:
Cannabis -- This one has helped me relax and lose some of my inhibitions, but it mostly makes me more hesitant and introverted. Also, it has become a burden to hide the smell of the substance.
Hydrocodone -- Up to 22.5 mg, this has had a similar effect as lorazepam. Induces a numb, apathetic feeling.
Amphetamine -- Up to 60 mg of mixed amphetamine salts. I get a boost in confidence when it comes to academic things (i.e taking tests), but I cannot focus well enough to channel my energy into constructive interactions.
MDA -- One experience at 200 mg. This was synthesized by a very dear friend of mine, so I am certain of its purity. I was not in a great mental state at the time, and the SSRI medications dampened the effects. Incredible experience and the closest I have come to full loss of inhibition.
LSD -- Twice. Dosage was probably around 120 micrograms. Great for introspection and really gave me a new view on life, but it did not give me any benefit in the field of social anxiety.
25c-NBoMe -- Multiple times, max dosage at 1.2 milligrams. Terrible for confidence/social situations. Great experience, but not what I'm looking for.
Alcohol -- Depresses my psychological state, makes me obnoxiously pessimistic, and I puke very easily.
Clonazepam -- Up to 4 mg. Not bad, but it really seemed to work better than a sleep aid than an anxiolytic.
Cyclobenzaprine -- Up to 20 mg? Strangely, this did help me gain confidence in the sense that I was able to act like a complete douchebag to someone, but more in a pessimistic "you suck" manner. This was combined with lorazepam (2 mg) and hydrocodone (7.5 mg). The combination was not unlike alcohol, but with a larger amount of apathy.
Ideas:
- Cocaine: Classic stimulant... Short lasting, but enormous confidence boost. My dear friend has a similar problem and has recently obtained around 0.2 grams, and he is running trials as we speak.
- Ketamine/MXE: NMDA antagonists seem to be helpful for treatment resistant depression. They also impact neuroplasticity, and could potentially help to modify the stubborn circuitry that drives my problem.
-Opiates (Hydromorphone, Morphine, Heroin): I can only see these substances making me apathetic enough to simply not care what other people think or if people are looking at me.
- SNDRI/Triple-reuptake inhibitors: Cocaine is an example, but methylphenidate is an NDRI. Seeing as how bupropion has weakly improved my energy levels and ability to approach people, these compounds (NDRIs) could potentially help.
- High doses of psychedelics: Potential implications in neuroplasticity (I think?), but I've yet to see evidence that high doses of LSD/psilocybin can aid social anxiety or confidence problems.
Any experiences that anyone would like to share? Feedback is greatly appreciated.
