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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

Drugs or women

It would be a non starter for me as it would set the wrong precedent right from the start. That I would have to change who I am and what I do and be totally under someone else command.

I have to far too much water under my bridge by now, and I'm far too self-contained. I couldn't change who I am for someone even if I wanted to. Any changes I make will be when I need or want to make them.
 
What about if you loved her tho? If it was a big deal making the choice. I don't mean when you are dating some 17 stone nightclub doorman transvestite called Bernard. I mean if the sun rose and set with her.

That's got you percolating hasn't it.
 
Kinda depends on the situation. Personally i wasn't fit to date until i was sober for a bit. If it's not serious it doesn't really matter but if it's someone you really care for and see a future you have to decide do you want drugs or the girl you want to spend your life with.
 
You have it the wrong way around - only today my wife went out and got some for me - at no cost.

We strictly adhere to share and share alike, I have some spare, I give freely. If I'm short, she will go out and sort things out with her own money.

I guess it's trust. Maybe it's only us old people married for a long time who know that we BOTH know what WD is like and wouldn't inflict it on the other. In fact, I think even Nico defined love as 'sharing your last shot'.
 
Ismene2 said:
What about if you loved her tho? If it was a big deal making the choice. I don't mean when you are dating some 17 stone nightclub doorman transvestite called Bernard. I mean if the sun rose and set with her.

That's got you percolating hasn't it.
Click to expand...

The sun would only rise and fall if she was cool with my lifestyle. Love wouldn’t come without acceptance.

-GC
 
If I truly love her, I will choose the girl over the drugs, I would promise to quit and would honestly try my best to not dissapoint her.
Then, few months into the relationship, I would relapse brutally and I would deny it.
Have been there, more than once and more than twice
 
"What do you think is more exciting... having sex or stealing cars?"
"Having sex or boosting cars... Um, oo! Well, uh... How about having sex while boosting cars?"
 
I wouldn't enter into a serious relationship with a woman while using drugs. I've done it before without her knowledge and it was an absoloute nightmare trying to hide my very physical addiction to Heroin. From not being able to score on the days we were supposed to meet up for dinner and drinks and either showing up late extremely ill and trying to hide it, or having to cancel at the last minute because none of my connects were picking up and I'd be in the throes of withdrawal. It made me look like I didnt care when truthfully I did - but thats something I'd never ever do again.

I'd get sober first, as I am so presently, and then go out and meet a woman. Its extremely difficult to hold down a relationship while in active addiction and the stress of it/having to all to often lie in an effort to hide it is utter hell - no way would I inflict that on her or myself ever again.
 
golego55 said:
"What do you think is more exciting... having sex or stealing cars?"
"Having sex or boosting cars... Um, oo! Well, uh... How about having sex while boosting cars?"
Click to expand...
I get a monthly bus ticket lad so yeah. Sex is great but you know that useless bit of skin around a vagina? Yeah? It has other plans. Never a simple transaction there is always terms and conditions.
 
Apologies if me last comment was disrespectfukk to women. To be fair the useless skin around the vagina is probably me hanging on like a some sort of fucking barnicale
 
I would tell her to get fucked. Why would i change my life for someone? If they didnt love me for who i was they could get lost. Also drugs have always been there for me they have never let me down. Unlike people
 
Ismene2 said:
What about if you loved her tho? If it was a big deal making the choice. I don't mean when you are dating some 17 stone nightclub doorman transvestite called Bernard. I mean if the sun rose and set with her.

That's got you percolating hasn't it.
Click to expand...

Fair enough. If love is involved and you're really invested in this person, then she needs to understand that addiction is a life-long condition and it cant always be either/or. You can't force someone to give up drugs for the wrong reasons, it may trigger them to go deeper. And even if we're not talking about addiction, there are many other reasons to use drugs, depending on the drug. What if you enjoy psychedelic explorations and consciousness expansion? What if you prefer weed and shrooms at parties instead of alcohol?

Also? Did she not know you were a drug user when she got together with you? If she didn't, then that's on you. If she didn't, then she already made her choice. She can't complain now by trying to change you.

There has to be room for negotiation. It can't just be drugs or no drugs. What about reducing use? What about agreeing to not use in certain circumstances?

Bottom line though... love does not conquer all. Sometimes love isn't enough to sustain a relationship.

I think we need more context though. What kind of drugs?
 
For me people being anti drug is a huge turn off anyway. In my experience it's always karens who are anti drug. The other day i was talking to this chick on some chat site and we where getting along until i pulled out my bong. She was like oh i dont like drugs. Then i was like goddamn what a turn off. She also turned out to be really conservative and a flat earther. Go fiigure
 
It really depends on your DOCS and what´s your relationship with them and with the lady ( i.e. are u a recreational week end warrior or a full blown addict? are u somewhat functional-able to maintain a life-work-drug balance or are u killing yourself that s why the lady is giving you an ultimatum? are drugs affecting your relationship or she s asking to quit because she is a 'just say no drugs are evil" kind of person? etc) .
If you were already contemplating quitting, maybe she can be a further motivation to stay sober. But if "you are doing it for her"only, who knows, anything is possible it might even work, but is more likely to end up in a shitshow of lies guilt self contempt using behind her back & 50 different shades of drama.

So between women and drugs I ld choose honesty, with myself and the woman involved, I m this I do this I can promise you this but not that etc.
 
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