AnanasBannana
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2015
- Messages
- 93
I wasn't healthy, nor was I very successful in my life or relationship. I smoked, ate a lot of fast food and probably wasn't as good as a partner as I should've been.
Had never felt anxiety. I didn't even understand the concept.
Then, I overdosed on 1 gram of MDMA. Two nights, back to back.
I went to the emergency room, assuming I had moments left to live. (STUPID).
The next few months were tough. I was having ~ten REALLY bad panic attacks a week.
So - over the next year, I got healthy. I stopped taking drugs. I quit smoking. I don't eat much meat, now it's things like Quinoa and Beetroot... and lentils. I exercise four days a week. I'm the healthiest and happiest I've ever been.
But, the drug related anxiety hasn't left me. I can't lie on my left side because the sound of my heartbeat makes me feel like I'm going to die. If I get remotely dehydrated (like I was on that night), I suddenly start panicking.
I have thoughts of death all the time (as in, the assumption that I'm about to die).
I've smoked weed about five times since. Each time, I have terrible panic attacks. LSD affects me similarly. Any drugs at all cause this panic, even when I have something like Phenibut (or Ginkgo, or anything I haven't tried before), I suddenly panicking that maybe I'm allergic and I need to keep taking deep breaths so that I have enough energy to make it to help before I run out of oxygen and die... crazy!!!
My girlfriend (we were both there that night - doing the same stupid thing) has similar issues too.
So, my goals:
1) I want to stop this totally irrational anxiety disorder that I've developed.
2) I want to start taking drugs again - I miss them.
Has anyone been in a similar position? Have any advice for me?
Had never felt anxiety. I didn't even understand the concept.
Then, I overdosed on 1 gram of MDMA. Two nights, back to back.
I went to the emergency room, assuming I had moments left to live. (STUPID).
The next few months were tough. I was having ~ten REALLY bad panic attacks a week.
So - over the next year, I got healthy. I stopped taking drugs. I quit smoking. I don't eat much meat, now it's things like Quinoa and Beetroot... and lentils. I exercise four days a week. I'm the healthiest and happiest I've ever been.
But, the drug related anxiety hasn't left me. I can't lie on my left side because the sound of my heartbeat makes me feel like I'm going to die. If I get remotely dehydrated (like I was on that night), I suddenly start panicking.
I have thoughts of death all the time (as in, the assumption that I'm about to die).
I've smoked weed about five times since. Each time, I have terrible panic attacks. LSD affects me similarly. Any drugs at all cause this panic, even when I have something like Phenibut (or Ginkgo, or anything I haven't tried before), I suddenly panicking that maybe I'm allergic and I need to keep taking deep breaths so that I have enough energy to make it to help before I run out of oxygen and die... crazy!!!
My girlfriend (we were both there that night - doing the same stupid thing) has similar issues too.
So, my goals:
1) I want to stop this totally irrational anxiety disorder that I've developed.
2) I want to start taking drugs again - I miss them.
Has anyone been in a similar position? Have any advice for me?