• BASIC DRUG
    DISCUSSION
    Welcome to Bluelight!
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Benzo Chart Opioids Chart
    Drug Terms Need Help??
    Drugs 101 Brain & Addiction
    Tired of your habit? Struggling to cope?
    Want to regain control or get sober?
    Visit our Recovery Support Forums
  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Drug abuse of a number of years, Damage done?

I

IrishLife

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 21, 2015
Messages
6
Hi guys, I'm a 19yr old student who has abused drugs in the past, Iil give a quick overview of what the past five years has been for me,

I started smoking weed at 14, I never smoked have then, it was only the odd time, I loved it, but the more I smoked the more dependent I was on it, I hit 15 years of age, I was smoking 4-5 times a week, I also took my first ecstasy pill at that age, I remember like it was yeaterday. From then I I started using ecstasy. I didn't abuse at that age, I enjoyed drugs then. Then one night We got some cocaine, I started using that on nights out, them mephedrone came along, Then the drug I would favour over them all MDMA CrYstals.
got to the age of 16,

Started dropping nearly 10 pills a night when I was drinking, if there was no pills, It would be multiple grams of cocaine,mephedrone or MDMA,

For 1 example me and a mate once Swallowed 1 full gram of mephedrone, Sniffed 7gs in 24 hrs.

Never noticed myself self change because every weekend we would be going hard on either of the drugs I mentioned, Nearly every weekend we were taking stuff. It got to the point were we were doing ridiculous amounts of drugs, I nearly lost a freind 1 night. But that didn't stop
, when It was the first time I took mdma, I loved it, started off with small amounts, but what it ought was small amounts wasn't really, only lying to myself,

i took mdma too many times to count, and it's the mama I think what fucked me up!

We we could go through nearly 1 or 2 gram of mdma each a night

then one night I took a fuck load, and went absolutely retarted(i was gone it was like I didn't even have a brain)I can remember flash backs, and I never ever want to remember what else I was doing.

Took mdma again after that, same thing happened again,

took xtacy pills after that, I Ended up freaking out thinking one of my friends was talking about me and makin a fool out of me by talking jibberish, really he wasn't, I just thought he was.

to to cut a long story short, if I take a moderate amount of Coke, md, or xtacy most chances are I will just lose my mind, I will eventually come around to myself,but still it never happens to me,

I haven't taken class a's in 2 months probably my first break , I do feel a bit better but I know and I feel I am a diffent person,

My memory is gone to shit, I have no interest in anything, I can't focus, conversate, And I feel like I'm just a fucking zombie, My tutors know I have something going on, They ask me why I can't remember this and that,

My ability to be a human in general is gone I think. I went to the doctor explained everything to him, He was no addition and told me that I would return back to normal if I just stay off drugs, which I do except weed, I still smoke that everyday, which has helped me dearly, I also cut down on the amount I smoke.

I can't explain it you guys properly because the drugs have my brain fucked, it comes with the problems I received, can't explain myself properly, can't remember shit that happened yesterday or what was said yesterday, ability to think and desion making have all been affected,

And I simply don't believe my doctor that all is going to be ok! I have my life ahead of me, and because I was a twat and partied like a mothrfuukr I feel like I'm done for.

I can still remeber the years before i started taking drugs,

I Searched online for months now have have found many links of this kind of drug abuse to Brain damage (hippocampus) .

Doctor is a No Go!
 
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3463407/

Genetic alteration.

"Chronic abuse of cocaine may cause neuropsychological impairments (O'Malley et al., 1992) as well as neuropsychiatric syndromes (Herning et al., 1997). Cocaine-induced cognitive deficits can last up to 3 months after heavy use before baseline functioning is restored. In their review, Weinrieb and O'Brien found a strong association between the chronic use of cocaine and deficiencies in short-term auditory recall, memory, concentration--especially for nonverbal abstracting and problem solving--and slowed reaction time"

Chronic stimulant abuse would also lead to long term excitotoxicity in the brain by activation of calcium channels, and by virtue of this glutamate, which causes neuronal death, which causes permanent, irreversible damage.
 
Thanks, Iv read the article you posted above, Bit of helpful information, But where to go next? I personally think i fucked the neurons in my brain(or something along the lines), I went to the doctor, He dismissed what i was saying that its normally and it wouLd do away, Well it hasn't really gone?

How do i repair my brain or at least improve my ability to think, to process thoughts when spoken to?

Its like i dont have an imagination?????????
 
IrishLife said:
Thanks, Iv read the article you posted above, Bit of helpful information, But where to go next? I personally think i fucked the neurons in my brain(or something along the lines), I went to the doctor, He dismissed what i was saying that its normally and it wouLd do away, Well it hasn't really gone?

How do i repair my brain or at least improve my ability to think, to process thoughts when spoken to?

Its like i dont have an imagination?????????
Click to expand...

The human body is a lot more resilient than we sometimes give it credit for. We smoke, drink alcohol, use drugs, eat steady diets of fast good and trans-fats, yet we still can manage to live to old age. I had similar feelings when I was your age. I had only started using Opioids heavily later in High School, what was my bread and butter prior was stimulants like pharm. Amphetamines and MDxx. After a couple of years of regular use I began to question the effects of my behavior on my overall health and became paranoid.

I went to my Doctor who was a pretty understanding guy. I told him all about my exploits with Amphetamines and MDxx and told him that I thought I had done damage to my heart. He seemed to think it would be an anomaly if I had actually done damage to my body in just a few short years. I'm not saying it's not possible, but you're young and you probably have a lot of rope yet left to hang yourself with.
 
You can try supplemnts to reverse it like ampakines and other racetams like fasoracetam. And choline precursors like CDP choline. Phosphatidylserine as well. I would recommend magnesium glycinate and n acetyl tyrosine and 5-HTP as well. SAMe to increase methylation and methylcobalamin sublingual (b12) and methylfolate (b9) to go with it.

These are really your only options, if it is neurotoxic damage.
 
You may have done some damage. But the longer you stay clean the better you will feel as your body starts regulating your brain chemistry without drugs that alter these levels. Your brain can also create new neural pathways over time which can cause different parts of the brain to take over for damaged areas. Even many people with traumatic brain injuries from accidents tend to get better over time. So there is hope in the long run if you stay clean. You are also young which also goes in your favor. The best thing to do is stop drugs. Even weed if possible, even though it's mainly considered safe, it still clouds your memory and mental clarity while high which can make things seem worse than they are and can make things harder to remember that happened while high. But if you have to use something that is likely the most healthy option. I would also use your brain as much as possible as that can stimulate the production of new pathways. If you don't use your brain it does seem to forget how to learn until you start exercising it again. Reading, playing games that require you to think about your next action, and even putting together puzzles can help. Anything that causes you to think, process information, and make a decision will help. And having a clean and sober mind will make the most of these efforts.

I still think I have a pretty good head on my shoulders and I have a hard time remembering everything I did the day before if I get high on pot. Smoking some pot occasionally as a reward and way to relax is one thing. Staying high all day long, every day is another and is something you should try to stay away from.

Stay sober and give yourself some time to heal. It's also likely you are going thru some depression after stopping many of those drugs. But this will get better with time as well. And if you think you will have a hard time staying clean, you need to make changes and set yourself up for success and not failure. Toss any drugs and paraphernalia that may be laying around as well as the names and numbers of any dealers. Make new friends that are sober and don't use. Wouldn't hurt to toss the numbers of friends that still use and can tempt you. And make a list of people and numbers, even some drug abuse hotlines, so that if you ever get that urge you can call and talk to someone that can help put things in perspective or that you can just talk to and take your mind off things. Find God if you believe in that sort of thing. And remember that prescription drugs just about all have side effects and can just as easily be abused and cause damage and personality changes. The most important thing is you have to want to be clean. If you don't truly want it you will most likely rationalize use and keep relapsing. But once you want to be sober and to get better it is much easier.

Even if you may have done some permanent damage you know 2 things going forward. That continuing to use will cause more damage and mess up any progress and healing that has occurred. And that staying clean and sober will give you the best chance of getting better and to have a clean mind that allows you to make the best decisions.

I'm also a firm believer in exercise. It can make you feel great and if you get lean and build a little muscle it can also help you feel better about yourself. It helps to produce natural chemicals in your brain that make you feel good and relaxed after. It can help rid your body of toxins and it's just healthy. Though you probably want to see a Dr first and get checked out to make sure your heart and body are healthy and strong enough for exercise which means you will need to come clean about your drug use history. But if you tell them you want to be clean and get yourself healthy they should have more information and resources that can be of benefit. My biggest issue with doctors is that they many times focus on things that can be wrong or potentially go wrong and can give off a negative vibe that isn't helpful. Being positive is always much more beneficial. If you aren't used to exercise it's best to start off easy and let your body get used to it. At first it can hurt, cause pain and soreness, and seem like work if you jump in too hard which usually results in people quitting before their body can acclimate or notice any beneficial changes. It's also best to find something you enjoy so it seems fun and not like painful work. My favorite is mountain biking, but anything you enjoy like hiking in the outdoors, playing ultimate frisbee, indoor rock climbing, swimming, etc. Not only is it healthy but it can wear you out and help you sleep at night, and it is something to do to keep you busy and usually introduces you to new people and friends that usually have a more healthy lifestyle and it's good to have new friends that aren't involved in drugs.

Hobbies are another thing to help keep you busy and your mind active and can be fun and beneficial to a sober life. My mom used to say that nothing good happens after midnight and she was mostly right. Going to sleep early and waking up early helps keep you away from that scene and there is just something inspiring about waking up early and well rested and watching the world come alive for the day. Getting up before dark with a cup of hot coffee or tea and sitting on the porch and hearing that first bird start to sing and slowly the others join in and you start to see the horizon lighten up as the sun approaches to turn night into day. For me there is just something invigorating and energizing about this. I'm sure you can also find things you enjoy, that makes you happy, and makes you excited about life that you may have not found yet or haven't learned to appreciate yet. Every little thing helps in the long run.

Anyways, good luck and stay positive! We only have one shot at life and you may have made some mistakes. But now it's time to learn from them and make the best of the rest of it and explore the amazing things around us that we often overlook in today's hectic pace. Find something you love and are passionate about and leaving drugs behind will be much easier.

Focus on positive things and don't fixate on negative ones and put them behind you quickly. You are changing your lifestyle which doesn't happen overnight. Give things time and know they will get better in time if you keep drugs and negativity out of your life.

Sorry for rambling but feel free to ask questions or express your concerns. Almost everyone here has their demons and will understand where you're coming from.
 
If what he is going through is permanent neurotoxicity issues - which it could very well be unlikely it is - his brain is not going to fix damage that severe. (Maybe partially). Sorry. But it's genetic damage as well. There's DNA damage that causes inborn errors in the cell's ability to create receptor proteins and enzymes correctly
 
IrishLife said:
Hi guys, I'm a 19yr old student who has abused drugs in the past, Iil give a quick overview of what the past five years has been for me,

I started smoking weed at 14, I never smoked have then, it was only the odd time, I loved it, but the more I smoked the more dependent I was on it, I hit 15 years of age, I was smoking 4-5 times a week, I also took my first ecstasy pill at that age, I remember like it was yeaterday. From then I I started using ecstasy. I didn't abuse at that age, I enjoyed drugs then. Then one night We got some cocaine, I started using that on nights out, them mephedrone came along, Then the drug I would favour over them all MDMA CrYstals.
got to the age of 16,

Started dropping nearly 10 pills a night when I was drinking, if there was no pills, It would be multiple grams of cocaine,mephedrone or MDMA,

For 1 example me and a mate once Swallowed 1 full gram of mephedrone, Sniffed 7gs in 24 hrs.

Never noticed myself self change because every weekend we would be going hard on either of the drugs I mentioned, Nearly every weekend we were taking stuff. It got to the point were we were doing ridiculous amounts of drugs, I nearly lost a freind 1 night. But that didn't stop
, when It was the first time I took mdma, I loved it, started off with small amounts, but what it ought was small amounts wasn't really, only lying to myself,

i took mdma too many times to count, and it's the mama I think what fucked me up!

We we could go through nearly 1 or 2 gram of mdma each a night

then one night I took a fuck load, and went absolutely retarted(i was gone it was like I didn't even have a brain)I can remember flash backs, and I never ever want to remember what else I was doing.

Took mdma again after that, same thing happened again,

took xtacy pills after that, I Ended up freaking out thinking one of my friends was talking about me and makin a fool out of me by talking jibberish, really he wasn't, I just thought he was.

to to cut a long story short, if I take a moderate amount of Coke, md, or xtacy most chances are I will just lose my mind, I will eventually come around to myself,but still it never happens to me,

I haven't taken class a's in 2 months probably my first break , I do feel a bit better but I know and I feel I am a diffent person,

My memory is gone to shit, I have no interest in anything, I can't focus, conversate, And I feel like I'm just a fucking zombie, My tutors know I have something going on, They ask me why I can't remember this and that,

My ability to be a human in general is gone I think. I went to the doctor explained everything to him, He was no addition and told me that I would return back to normal if I just stay off drugs, which I do except weed, I still smoke that everyday, which has helped me dearly, I also cut down on the amount I smoke.

I can't explain it you guys properly because the drugs have my brain fucked, it comes with the problems I received, can't explain myself properly, can't remember shit that happened yesterday or what was said yesterday, ability to think and desion making have all been affected,

And I simply don't believe my doctor that all is going to be ok! I have my life ahead of me, and because I was a twat and partied like a mothrfuukr I feel like I'm done for.

I can still remeber the years before i started taking drugs,

I Searched online for months now have have found many links of this kind of drug abuse to Brain damage (hippocampus) .

Doctor is a No Go!
Click to expand...

Hey man, I wish we had solid good news to tell you, but if it is sever brain damage, like gwtbh said, only partial recovery may be possible.

However! Assuming you aren't near as fried as Ozzie Osborne, sobriety, excerecise, proper nutrition, supplements, and plenty of other things will help your body and mind recover. Your brain will have to repair itself in case of slight neurological damage.

I don't see why it wouldn't be possible to get back to decent cognitive function. I just don't know how much damage you have actually sustained.

Try to excell in brain games while you continue your studies. Get a job that suits you if you don't already have one, or aren't being supported.

Listen to your doctor, he probably knows more aboutyour condition than we do. I don't think he would just blow smoke up your bum.

If he says you'll be okay, just take his word bud.

Also, smoking weed will attribute to your memory loss. Weed as a teen can cause memory problems as an adult. But if you only started smoking as an adult, all memory loss is temporary.

But I highly doubt the leaf is what got you. Even still, you should probaby only smoke once or twice a week.
 
I wouldn't just take his word. Doctors don't know much about neuroscience and glutamatergic excitotoxicity and kindling effects. Please do not give him this advice, as he might take it to heart.
 
He seems cautious enough, and his doubt strong enough to not take the one line of my advice being listen to your doctor, to heart.

And honestly I think it depends on the doctor.

The doctor I see spent a number of years in pharmacology before he completed med school, however that may be uncommon.

EDIT: You're right, what I stated didn't really imply being objective about the doctors word. To OP, maybe get a second opinion. From another doctor, I mean.

Maybe go get a MRI? Talk to some neurologists or practicioners of a similar discipline.
 
Last edited:
No, seek advice from a professor specializing in the area. Do you live near a university. If not you can look online? There a plenty of ways to do this. That is the better option. Doctors do not specialize in neurotoxicity
 
Iv been Looking for someone or something that specializes in neurotoxcity in ireland, I cannot find much usefull info. Alot of the stuff said above is kind of worrying, And allot of the stuff iv researched myself is worrying, I researched brain damage caused by excsess drug abuse, I was back to websites mentiong damge to the hippocampus, My symptoms are what it describes as, This guys description is nealy the same as what has been happeing to me, "Damage to the hippocampus or its nerve connections can cause amnesia (inability to learn and then recall new information). People with amnesia are unable to form new long-term memories, and they forget information soon after they hear or see it. For example, researchers have found that patients with amnesia can continue doing things like playing checkers as well as they used to (because it was a skill that was acquired over years of practice), but they can't remember the name of their opponent." I can still play xbox etc, i remeber how to play, but i will barley remeber what gameplay i was playing, or what objectives i had, And its the same in everyday life, I can do something ok, BuT others i cannot,
 
theGirlWithBlueHair said:
That's excitotoxicity for you and neuronal death...
Click to expand...


Thanks Very much!! Feel much better now! :/ Is there anyone on here that has knowledge of Neurological stuff?

Iv looked at getting an MRI scan, But that Cost 200€, Thers not a hope i can get that amount of money.

Even on tho i have a Medical Card, It those not cover the cost.
 
You should try to save up for it. It sounds like you are worried enough/this is a serious enough issue. But I'm not sure if an MRI can reveal something like this.
 
A head MRI will only show nerve damage, bleeding, tumor, and other similar issues. It just might be a good idea, make sure that, at least structurally, you're sound.

Or that you have other serious issues. But I don't think it will show you your problem, if it is neurotoxicity.
 
Keif' Richards said:
The human body is a lot more resilient than we sometimes give it credit for. We smoke, drink alcohol, use drugs, eat steady diets of fast good and trans-fats, yet we still can manage to live to old age. I had similar feelings when I was your age. I had only started using Opioids heavily later in High School, what was my bread and butter prior was stimulants like pharm. Amphetamines and MDxx. After a couple of years of regular use I began to question the effects of my behavior on my overall health and became paranoid.

I went to my Doctor who was a pretty understanding guy. I told him all about my exploits with Amphetamines and MDxx and told him that I thought I had done damage to my heart. He seemed to think it would be an anomaly if I had actually done damage to my body in just a few short years. I'm not saying it's not possible, but you're young and you probably have a lot of rope yet left to hang yourself with.
Click to expand...

A thousand times this. You arent giving your body or mind enough credit for being remarkable at restoring balance. Stop if you dont like the way you feel, by all means, but to say you have done permanent damage is premature.
 
It could take over a year to get your brain functioning normally again. Stay away from the drugs, stimulants etc.. And eat a healthy balanced diet, exercise and you will eventually improve.
 
I often wonder about the same thing. I'd ask for a consultation to a neurologist. I'm sure their are certain tests that they can do. Take Care! - "UtterlyConfused"
 
I'm really not sure how people on a website diagnosing him with 'definite severe brain damage' is in anyway helpful? If anything it will just cause further depression and possibly continued drug use because why not if you are already screwed? We don't know how he will respond.

I guarantee being positive and staying completely sober will be the best thing for him. And giving himself time and trying to use his mind for more challenging things is better than doing nothing. It's when people are negative and give up that there isn't much progress or they decline.

He is also 19 which gives him better odds of recovery than a 40 yr old.

OP, I wouldn't take any of what we say completely to heart. I was told when I was 23 that I had a disease that kills 80% of people in the first year. I could have listened and become depressed and probably added to that statistic in a self fulfilling prophecy. But I stayed positive and worked to stay healthy and give myself every opportunity. That was almost 14 years ago and I still have the disease in addition to another that is related. But I deal with them well and it seems that every year I get a little better, at least symptoms wise. But I do everything I can to make my body stronger. My point is, we never know what the future holds. And it's much better to remain positive and live healthy and do everything you can to make things better. The brain is an amazing thing and can overcome some crazy things, yet it can make a body sick when there is nothing wrong because someone is negative and believes something enough. But being positive, optimistic, and happy is a much better way to live than negative and depressed. If you stay positive, sober, and give yourself plenty of time to heal (years even), you will be giving yourself the best odds of recovery.

As for the medical costs, see if there is a large University or medical center near by. Many are doing research on your very situation. If so, you may have to be a lab rat and let them run tons of tests all the time, but they should also pay for it all to help with their research and may even compensate you for time and travel expenses. It's up to you to be proactive and try to find things that can help you. Also, talk to your Dr and ask if he knows of anything like I mentioned or if he knows anyone that might know, that he can call. You can also make phone calls and ask. It will probably take many hours of calls as you will be given the name and number of someone that might know or be able to help and so on and so on.

Also, there are some brilliant doctors that will be able to tell you what you can do to help yourself and that are optimistic. But there are plenty more that aren't all that bright and have terrible bed side manners and will be depressing to talk to. So don't take everything they say to heart either and hopefully you can find one of the good ones.

If you have a hard time remembering things, start carrying a pen and notebook with you and write stuff down you want to remember. I make lists all the time because none of us remember everything and it's an effective tool to make sure you do things you need to or have everything you will need for a trip, etc, etc.

This is my opinion based on having severe health issues and having to deal with many doctors in many places and having to see a Dr once a week or more for 14 years now. I'm sure others won't agree with it all. But you can either try and make things as good as they can be, or you can give up and not get very far. And that goes for anything in life.

Good luck and try to stay positive no matter what!
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top