DoritosTacos
Greenlighter
- Joined
- May 14, 2013
- Messages
- 2
This post may be slightly long, so bear with me. I have a few different questions I'm trying to get answered.
I have done ecstasy a total of 6 times. The first two times were both over 4 years ago and the experience with it was so unpleasant that I was completely turned off to ecstasy again. Both those times, I experienced excessively long come-ups (the first time was over 3 hours), and the roll was mediocre at best.That first time I didn't feel much except a surge of energy, a desire to dance, and a slight mood lift. The second time I went to a rave with friends and the pill made me extremely nauseous and just made me want to lay down. Since I was at a rave, you can imagine how difficult that was. Once again, I didn't experience many effects, but the effects were more pronounced than the first time. I experienced "stages" of the roll in which I was highly energized and wanted to dance and then suddenly the next moment I wanted to lay down and cuddle. My skin was slightly more sensitive to the touch, I felt some empathy and love. But...the effects weren't very strong and they didn't impress me. I remember thinking afterwards that I didn't understand how people could love ecstasy so much, because it wasn't that great for me.
My third time:Ok, so fast forward to a few months ago in February. I had moved in with a new roommate and he had a few pills (blue power buttons) that a friend was supposed to pick up but never showed up. I joked around with him that he should just take them since they were paid for already. He said he would if I joined him. I told him that I didn't like ecstasy that much and I wouldn't enjoy it. He assured me that these would be some of the best pills I ever take. So, we took them. Long story short, my eyes were opened to the wondrous majestic magic of MDMA. At one point during my roll when I was peaking, I realized that at that very moment, I was the happiest I have ever been in my whole life. It was pure bliss. Nothing can accurately describe the magic of that roll, but it made me a believer.
My fourth time:About a month later, my roommate got some more pills. This time they were tan dragonflies, which I had heard were amazing. Once again, we rolled together. This time around, the roll wasn't as intense, but it was still pretty strong. It definitely had a different feel to it, though. I spent a lot more time laying down in bed cuddling with my roommate and less time moving around. The love was still there but wasn't as pronounced and obvious. There was also more of a visual distortion for me. There was a sort of blurry, hazy border surrounding everything that was actually nice to look at. I later found out that those pills were mostly MDA rather than MDMA. Still, it was a positive experience, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
My fifth time:This time, about 3 weeks later in the end of March, I obtained what was supposed to be Molly. It was extremely expensive, and I almost didn't buy it, but my boyfriend wanted to roll with me that weekend and it was all I could get on short notice. I didn't know about testing kits at the time, so the powder was never tested. My boyfriend and I split open the capsules containing the white powder and dumped them into glasses with orange juice in them and chugged them down quickly. Then we licked the inside of the glasses clean after to make sure we didn't miss any residue. We then sat back and waited for the effects to kick in. We didn't have to wait long. About 45 minutes later, we already felt some effects that seemed indicative to the come-up. He felt energetic and decided to wander outside into the yard. I, on the other hand, wasn't feeling so hot. I was experiencing some unnerving anxiety and paranoia that was pretty overwhelming. I decided to cuddle up under the covers to try and help myself relax. It didn't help. The next hour was just hell for me. the anxiety grew worse and my heart was pounding out of my chest. On top of that, I started feeling intensely depressed and started thinking about how shitty and worthless my life was. I felt like there was no happiness in the world, only pain and despair. My boyfriend eventually wandered back into the room to check up on me, and when he realized what I was going through, he instantly tried to comfort me and bring me out of it. After about 30 minutes or so of holding me, massaging my back, and talking about positive things with me, I started to snap out of the anxiety and depression, and started to feel increasingly happy and euphoric. Eventually I felt better, and started experiencing the roll with him. The roll was a disappointment to both of us, though. We both felt happy, euphoric, energetic, and more sensitive to the touch...but these feelings were pretty mild, and we still felt as if a certain component was just simply missing. Like the magic simply wasn't there. His roll ended pretty quickly, about an hour after he pulled me from the depression and mine ended about an hour after that.
My sixth time: This last time was just yesterday. I got some pretty good pills once again from my roommate, and used a testing kit this time to confirm that they were definitely MDMA. This roll was intended to be a "test roll." My boyfriend moved out of state, and in about a month or so I'm planning on rolling with him again when I come to visit. I was a little concerned though that my roll might be muffled and diminished because I have been taking an antidepressant, Wellbutrin, for a few weeks now. I'd read mixed reports from people who claim it altered and decreased their roll. Yesterday's roll was an attempt to determine whether Wellbutrin did in fact affect my roll, and if I determined that it did decrease it, I knew to abstain from it for a few days prior to visiting my boyfriend for the best possible roll. Anyway, I took 2 pills solo yesterday morning on an empty stomach after getting a full 8 hours of sleep the night before. After about 90 minutes I felt the bubbling energetic feeling that I knew to be the come-up. For the next 4 hours, I spent my time wandering around my apartment with headphones listening to music and some time on Skype talking to my boyfriend. I felt effects that were similar in nature to the power button roll from a few months prior, but to a MUCH lesser degree. The whole roll was very mild and unspectacular. I experienced absolutely no eye wiggling, no visuals or tracers, no jaw-clenching, and most importantly my pupils did not get dilated at all. Not to say it was unpleasant. I enjoyed myself and I felt nice, but it just wasn't very powerful. I concluded that my wellbutrin was muffling it.
Alright, so now that I've talked about all that background information from my previous rolls can I ask the questions that I came here to ask:
And...one more thing before I end this novel. It is currently 7am the day after my roll and I haven't yet fallen asleep. During the comedown, when I started feeling really sleepy and worn down, my boyfriend suggested we play some League of Legends together to help wake me up. He was hoping it would help me ignore the unpleasantness of the come down. I drank some water and a Rockstar Xdurance, which is an energy drink that's low in calories and sugar and high in BCAA's and electrolytes. Then, my boyfriend started drinking some alcohol and asked me to join in. I told him it was probably a bad idea because my body was already going to have to recover from the beating that MDMA does to you, and I thought alcohol would make it worse. He told me I would be fine, that the alcohol would help me relax during my comedown. So, I drank with him, and nibbled on some crackers. That, in retrospect, was a bad idea. It is now the next morning, I haven't slept, I feel awful, and I'm wondering when and how I can make myself feel better.
This is how I'm currently feeling:
I can't walk around very much without gettin very dizzy and an intense head rush.
I have a mild headache.
My stomach is killing me. It is aching and feels bloated, like I just ate a full meal. It's even hard to sip on water without feeling like there isn't any more room in my stomach.
I keep getting nausea that comes and goes in waves.
My heart is racing.
I feel slightly depressed.
What can I do right now to help myself feel better? I want to sleep, but I feel so sick right now that I know I can't sleep. I've been sipping on water and I already took some 5-HTP, magnesium, and a B-vitamin complex. I can't eat anything except small nibbles here and there of the crackers because of my nausea.
Can anyone offer some advice and answer some of my questions? Thanks for taking the time to read.
I have done ecstasy a total of 6 times. The first two times were both over 4 years ago and the experience with it was so unpleasant that I was completely turned off to ecstasy again. Both those times, I experienced excessively long come-ups (the first time was over 3 hours), and the roll was mediocre at best.That first time I didn't feel much except a surge of energy, a desire to dance, and a slight mood lift. The second time I went to a rave with friends and the pill made me extremely nauseous and just made me want to lay down. Since I was at a rave, you can imagine how difficult that was. Once again, I didn't experience many effects, but the effects were more pronounced than the first time. I experienced "stages" of the roll in which I was highly energized and wanted to dance and then suddenly the next moment I wanted to lay down and cuddle. My skin was slightly more sensitive to the touch, I felt some empathy and love. But...the effects weren't very strong and they didn't impress me. I remember thinking afterwards that I didn't understand how people could love ecstasy so much, because it wasn't that great for me.
My third time:Ok, so fast forward to a few months ago in February. I had moved in with a new roommate and he had a few pills (blue power buttons) that a friend was supposed to pick up but never showed up. I joked around with him that he should just take them since they were paid for already. He said he would if I joined him. I told him that I didn't like ecstasy that much and I wouldn't enjoy it. He assured me that these would be some of the best pills I ever take. So, we took them. Long story short, my eyes were opened to the wondrous majestic magic of MDMA. At one point during my roll when I was peaking, I realized that at that very moment, I was the happiest I have ever been in my whole life. It was pure bliss. Nothing can accurately describe the magic of that roll, but it made me a believer.
My fourth time:About a month later, my roommate got some more pills. This time they were tan dragonflies, which I had heard were amazing. Once again, we rolled together. This time around, the roll wasn't as intense, but it was still pretty strong. It definitely had a different feel to it, though. I spent a lot more time laying down in bed cuddling with my roommate and less time moving around. The love was still there but wasn't as pronounced and obvious. There was also more of a visual distortion for me. There was a sort of blurry, hazy border surrounding everything that was actually nice to look at. I later found out that those pills were mostly MDA rather than MDMA. Still, it was a positive experience, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
My fifth time:This time, about 3 weeks later in the end of March, I obtained what was supposed to be Molly. It was extremely expensive, and I almost didn't buy it, but my boyfriend wanted to roll with me that weekend and it was all I could get on short notice. I didn't know about testing kits at the time, so the powder was never tested. My boyfriend and I split open the capsules containing the white powder and dumped them into glasses with orange juice in them and chugged them down quickly. Then we licked the inside of the glasses clean after to make sure we didn't miss any residue. We then sat back and waited for the effects to kick in. We didn't have to wait long. About 45 minutes later, we already felt some effects that seemed indicative to the come-up. He felt energetic and decided to wander outside into the yard. I, on the other hand, wasn't feeling so hot. I was experiencing some unnerving anxiety and paranoia that was pretty overwhelming. I decided to cuddle up under the covers to try and help myself relax. It didn't help. The next hour was just hell for me. the anxiety grew worse and my heart was pounding out of my chest. On top of that, I started feeling intensely depressed and started thinking about how shitty and worthless my life was. I felt like there was no happiness in the world, only pain and despair. My boyfriend eventually wandered back into the room to check up on me, and when he realized what I was going through, he instantly tried to comfort me and bring me out of it. After about 30 minutes or so of holding me, massaging my back, and talking about positive things with me, I started to snap out of the anxiety and depression, and started to feel increasingly happy and euphoric. Eventually I felt better, and started experiencing the roll with him. The roll was a disappointment to both of us, though. We both felt happy, euphoric, energetic, and more sensitive to the touch...but these feelings were pretty mild, and we still felt as if a certain component was just simply missing. Like the magic simply wasn't there. His roll ended pretty quickly, about an hour after he pulled me from the depression and mine ended about an hour after that.
My sixth time: This last time was just yesterday. I got some pretty good pills once again from my roommate, and used a testing kit this time to confirm that they were definitely MDMA. This roll was intended to be a "test roll." My boyfriend moved out of state, and in about a month or so I'm planning on rolling with him again when I come to visit. I was a little concerned though that my roll might be muffled and diminished because I have been taking an antidepressant, Wellbutrin, for a few weeks now. I'd read mixed reports from people who claim it altered and decreased their roll. Yesterday's roll was an attempt to determine whether Wellbutrin did in fact affect my roll, and if I determined that it did decrease it, I knew to abstain from it for a few days prior to visiting my boyfriend for the best possible roll. Anyway, I took 2 pills solo yesterday morning on an empty stomach after getting a full 8 hours of sleep the night before. After about 90 minutes I felt the bubbling energetic feeling that I knew to be the come-up. For the next 4 hours, I spent my time wandering around my apartment with headphones listening to music and some time on Skype talking to my boyfriend. I felt effects that were similar in nature to the power button roll from a few months prior, but to a MUCH lesser degree. The whole roll was very mild and unspectacular. I experienced absolutely no eye wiggling, no visuals or tracers, no jaw-clenching, and most importantly my pupils did not get dilated at all. Not to say it was unpleasant. I enjoyed myself and I felt nice, but it just wasn't very powerful. I concluded that my wellbutrin was muffling it.
Alright, so now that I've talked about all that background information from my previous rolls can I ask the questions that I came here to ask:
- First of all, how can my experiences have varied so dramatically from my 1st and 2nd rolls to my 3rd? Is it likely that I just ran across some good quality MDMA the 3rd time?
- Second, is it likely that the "Molly" we took wasn't MDMA at all, but something else entirely, and if it was, what could have possibly caused the horrible come-up and short-lived mediocre roll?
- Is it possible to lose the "magic" from ecstasy after so few rolls and after experiencing the magic only twice so far? Will I experience the magic again?
And...one more thing before I end this novel. It is currently 7am the day after my roll and I haven't yet fallen asleep. During the comedown, when I started feeling really sleepy and worn down, my boyfriend suggested we play some League of Legends together to help wake me up. He was hoping it would help me ignore the unpleasantness of the come down. I drank some water and a Rockstar Xdurance, which is an energy drink that's low in calories and sugar and high in BCAA's and electrolytes. Then, my boyfriend started drinking some alcohol and asked me to join in. I told him it was probably a bad idea because my body was already going to have to recover from the beating that MDMA does to you, and I thought alcohol would make it worse. He told me I would be fine, that the alcohol would help me relax during my comedown. So, I drank with him, and nibbled on some crackers. That, in retrospect, was a bad idea. It is now the next morning, I haven't slept, I feel awful, and I'm wondering when and how I can make myself feel better.
This is how I'm currently feeling:
I can't walk around very much without gettin very dizzy and an intense head rush.
I have a mild headache.
My stomach is killing me. It is aching and feels bloated, like I just ate a full meal. It's even hard to sip on water without feeling like there isn't any more room in my stomach.
I keep getting nausea that comes and goes in waves.
My heart is racing.
I feel slightly depressed.
What can I do right now to help myself feel better? I want to sleep, but I feel so sick right now that I know I can't sleep. I've been sipping on water and I already took some 5-HTP, magnesium, and a B-vitamin complex. I can't eat anything except small nibbles here and there of the crackers because of my nausea.
Can anyone offer some advice and answer some of my questions? Thanks for taking the time to read.
