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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Does this sound like adhd meds actually harm me?

glab

Bluelighter
Joined
May 3, 2015
Messages
182
Hi guys,

I'm worried.

For ADD I've been taking ritalin, vyvanse and amphetamine sulfate syrup during the last few years.

First I started with Ritalin and it cause too many side effects. I couldn't even handle 20mg Ritalin instant doses.

Then I switched to Vyvanse. Usually I'd take 30mg per day which contains 8,9 mg d-amphetamine.

Then I wanted to try amphetamine sulfate syrup. The syrup is a mix of D/L amphetamine. I started with the syrup in March and my doc prescribed
me a pretty huge bottle. It contained 900ml syrup with each ml containing 2mg amphetamine!
This was a really huge amount and I just recently got finished with it.

With the syrup noticed that I could take pretty high doses of the syrup without getting side effects. I also didn't really know how many millilitres I was getting exactl.
1ml syrup contain 2mg amphetamine. Inside of the cap of the bottle are small marks. The lady at the pharmacy told me that if I till til the mark in the middle
then this is 10mg.

At first I tried to be super precise with the doses but after a while when I noticed that from 10ml which contain 20mg amphetamine I don't get side effects
but also do not really "feel" much I got a bit sloopier and also took higher doses.

I think that over the time of 24h I'd sometimes take a total of 40mg pure amphetamine which is a much higher dose than I'd get using vyvanse.

I order to get such a dose with vyvanse you'd have to take a lot of vyvanse....

Anyway, I have used up all of the syrup now and I won't get the syrup again. I rather go back to vyvanse.

What worries me now is that I over the past few months made the following observations:

- When I now take Ritalin I can take WAAAAY higher doses than in the past without even getting side effects! Ritalin now feels like candy! It's as if I have become
immune to it. Now I can take an instant dose of 20mg and not feel hyper or get many side effects.
Back then when I started with Ritalin such a dose would have made me feel hyper.

- I am feeling anhedonic quite often and things which I enjoyed in the past aren't enjoyable anymore.

- Stimulants (ritalin and/or amphetamine) don't make me horny at all. The literature says that they raise libido. But not for me.

- I feel like my concentration is getting worse and not better. I started with ADD meds in 2014 and when I now try to do calculations in my head without having a pencil and a paper
to take notes I have a really hard time cause I forget the numbers! I don't know if this is normal or if I always had this.
 
Sounds like you where binging on amphetamine. Amphetamine is very addicting and you probably didnt even notice it but you started taking more than prescribed. It sounds like your taking these drugs in a very binge like manner like how people whodont have adhd do for tests. Since you took 40 mg a day and basically went cold turkey its normal to feel like shit. The only way to tell if they work is to take it consistantly at a specific dosage. Constantly going on and off and on and off will mess with your head.
 
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