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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Does anybody have any longterm damages from abusing drugs?

Anxiety, depression, and just general drug seeking behavior from drinking and smoking pot since i was like 12. Add to that paranoia from tripping a little too often and amphetamines, and I'm a nervous wreck alot of the time. Self medicating anxiety and depression with far too much alcohol turns me into a dick when I'm drunk. Once you start getting a little too fucked up it's hard to just stop
 
Hep c, bad liver, bad circulation, depression, anxiety, credit issues, relationship issues...
 
junkieman412 said:
credit issues
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me too lol.

most of the time i lack emotions, when i do have them they're unstable, slow processing speed, memory problems, paranoia, ruined all my relationships/burnt my bridges, social akwardness and a skewed reality
 
HPPD. I'm 24 now, from 17-21 I went through a psychonaut phase. DMT / 80x Salvia did it I'm pretty sure.. Vast amounts of the same color/texture look fuzzy.. For example the sky looks a bit like a static television screen, or a monotonous large beige carpet will look like a static television screen. Also floaters, trails on occasion, and moving shadows at night.

It doesn't really bother me, and I still have 20/20 vision. I've found certain things can exacerbate the condition.
 
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I realized the most damaging thing to my memory and cognative abilities was my depression, anxiety, poor sleep (related to ADHD, RLS, PLMS), etc. Yeah weed clouded my head. Yeah taking DXM 100+ in highschool (never really more than once a week, besides a few time) had a slight effect on my memory, but hell I passed calculus with no problem. A lot of it was in my head being a teenager growing up, being real self critical, and all the non-drug related problems I've had all my life. Of course dissocaitives have decreased my short term memory temperary with abuse, and of course opioids along with benzos do the same, but not in the scale that my non-drug related problems have effected me. Stress causes more damage to your NMDA receptors than occasional NMDA-antagonist use. However, when you combine them both together, the deficits are real noticable.

Now that I'm not depressed anymore, am on medication + doing non-pharmacological therapies to help me sleep better, reduced my anxiety, etc, I feel so much more on top of things. I'm not as constantly losing things, or forgetting things through out the day that I need to remember to do, as I used. It took some time and effort, but I'm 100x times happier.
 
Cloudy said:
I realized the most damaging thing to my memory and cognative abilities was my depression, anxiety, poor sleep (related to ADHD, RLS, PLMS), etc. Yeah weed clouded my head. Yeah taking DXM 100+ in highschool (never really more than once a week, besides a few time) had a slight effect on my memory, but hell I passed calculus with no problem. A lot of it was in my head being a teenager growing up, being real self critical, and all the non-drug related problems I've had all my life. Of course dissocaitives have decreased my short term memory temperary with abuse, and of course opioids along with benzos do the same, but not in the scale that my non-drug related problems have effected me. Stress causes more damage to your NMDA receptors than occasional NMDA-antagonist use. However, when you combine them both together, the deficits are real noticable.

Now that I'm not depressed anymore, am on medication + doing non-pharmacological therapies to help me sleep better, reduced my anxiety, etc, I feel so much more on top of things. I'm not as constantly losing things, or forgetting things through out the day that I need to remember to do, as I used. It took some time and effort, but I'm 100x times happier.
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Haha cool I wish my depressions would go away. 18 weeks to morrow of beeing cleen. Yeah probaly depreshions do allot of it. Bu there is nothing I can do against them they jsut march on and like troll me...
 
Overall, I'd say I've been fairly fortunate in this regard. Despite the number of different drugs I've done, I'd say the worst is nicotine. I first tried smoking my freshman year of college. I've quit multiple times, but I keep coming back to it. The initial withdrawal isn't much of a problem. What happens is every time I get drunk, I end up buying another pack. I'll probably end up dying of lung cancer or speaking through a voice box.
 
augustaB said:
You're jokin' right?
To be frank I don't believe there is such a thing as a good psychiatrist.
They're all quacks fumbling in the dark.
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Just because you haven't had a good experience with a therapist doesn't mean their aren't good ones out there. Sadly sometimes it takes a little time to find the right one for you, but there are people who can help tremendously. I found a therapist that I'm extremely thankful for and has helped me recover faster than I could ever imagine from my deep depression. She is still helping get over some of my other issues as well, and doing it successfully. It was one of the best desicions I've ever made in my life to see a therapist.

Also you have to put in the work if you expect to see results. You can't just see a therapist and expect magic to happen. They don't make you better by a snap of their fingers. They help you out by giving you advice, talking you through problems, just being a support system, etc. It is up to you to use what you've learned or realized through the sessions, and put in the effort. Plenty of individuals go to fine therapist, but they don't do anything to help themselves once they leave the office. They expected the appointments to change their life for them, but that isn't how it works.

Lars, it doesn't matter that your 14. Therapist can help people of all ages. I wish I went when I was your age. I could have avoid a lot of pain and struggle, as well as potentially be far ahead in life than where I am now. Now, I don't try to look at it like that because the fact that I went and got help recently was awesome. Better than waiting another couple years down the road.
 
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MDMA did it for me and set off many mental and mood disorders at only the age of 17.
Serotonin syndrome from excessive use of Molly really starts the depression. This brought out the bi-polar gene in my family that many members have along with general anxiety disorder, a fear of being alone, and for some reason little tad bits of psychosis. All this from happened just by about 2-3 months of having a fun time experimenting with MDMA. NOT WORTH IT imo.
 
I had a little depression at the end of last year. Managed to clean myself up for a little bit then me and friend had at least a gram probably more of mescaline, we ingested a liter of liquid after boiling it for a few hours. Yes it was really fucking stupid, I had no idea though. We went to a rave then my friend had thought he was dying and I had to try calm it down which didn't work. I always remember waiting on a ambulance to come, I had to settle him. He would repeat 4 sentences again and again. "My name, his gfs name. Really?" "Im just on drugs everything will be fine" "IM DYING HELP ME" Every time he said the last one, I would hallucinate blood coming out of his eyes,mouth,nose and everything. It was absolutely terrifying. Ambulance took him and he managed to calm down but I thought he was going to die and had accepted it. Never again, I somehow managed to pull myself from a bad trip by hanging with a good friend, watching him play games. I have no idea how but I managed to become positive. My friend that had the bad trip came out fine in the end, does not remember a thing which is lucky for him.

So from the trip, depression, anxiety and panic attacks came back. I also feel I'm a little bi polar at times. I think its just abuse of uppers and E though. I either feel neutral ie nothing, maybe a bit down. Or I feel really depressed or I feel like I just had a line of some speed and happy, motivated to do everything,confidence up and king of the world. I'm trying to break out of this state of mind, its hard though. Such a vicious cycle :/.

Apart from that, only effects I've noticed are memory is not as sharp but I've been working on it and I notice heart palpitations all the time which is annoying as fuck, mostly on uppers when I don't have booze. I feel more clumsy now as well. All should come around fine though :)
 
Of all the drugs I've done, MDMA did the most lasting damage to me. I have always been a sensitive person but as a teenager I wasn't aware enough of this fact, so I would do large doses of MDMA. Genetic testing has revealed that my CYP2D6 enzyme pathway is damaged, so I don't even fully metabolize MDMA properly. It ends up going through a backup pathway in the liver causing many harsh side effects (like 3-4 day hangovers). Additionally, already being pre-disposed to depression, the MDMA caused long-term mental health problems that have only begun to stabilize in the past 3-4 years. After years of trying various anti-depressants, it was only nootropics that brought real physical healing. Because they potentiate one another a lot, I took low level doses of hydergine, piracetam, lily bulb extract, choline, selegiline, and vinpocetine together for two months. After that I began to feel normal again.

Drugs have not really cured my mental health problems, but what they have done is advance me spiritually to the point where I can move a bit beyond my wounded ego, or in the least deconstruct the attachments that have been obscuring my own inner peace and happiness. So now, if I go through a period of severe depression, I am better able to take a step back from it and observe it as a mental phenomenon only that has little to do with my true spirit.

To use an analogy that I've heard many times from Buddhists: the real you is like the blue sky, pure and filled with sun. Thoughts move through like clouds and obstruct the blue sky, but they are always just a passing phenomenon, whether good or bad. All your "problems" and intensely dark emotions are like these clouds. These clouds are not the real you, they are just temporary states, so it's important to not identify too strongly with the clouds. Observe them, and they will pass on. Attempt to identify with them, and they become lingering attachments.

Drugs have helped me with learning to see beyond the clouds, so that even on my worst days I know that I can choose to step back at any time and get a clear view of the whole picture, which is not the clouds, but the blue sky and beyond.
 
im a anxiety ridden mess. I cant even take 5mg of oxy without having a panic attack. I used to roll on minimum 10 pills of E a week for about 4 years from 17 to 21 though. So i did this to myself.
 
My vision isnt as good at nite (i'm 25 with normally perfect vision)

I'm a bit slower... not all the time.

I ache... my spine and CNS feels generally "tattered" by in "repair mode:"


I did lots of everything including tons of adderall pharms tripppy shit weed heroin
 
Hep C, scar tissue on the insides of both elbows, dissatisfaction with reality....
 
liver damage, also was hospitalized for 3 months for a tumor in my chest, it was 6 inches, in the begining i was told i had a tumor that might be caner, i was hospitalized, and and 2 surguries to have it removed, i had 2 ribs removed to get to the tumor, wich had grown and attached itself to the back of my ribs, it turned out , it was not cancer, it was an infection that has started on the outside of my lung (from shoting up) it had grown cells attached, it was a giant infectious tissue mass....dreadful, painful, serious torso surgery required heart surgeion..ect....not to mention depression and all that other shit...scars on my arms, 16 inch scar under my breast from my gall bladder around to my side under my arm....
 
Tobacco, at least I'm pretty sure. I've been smoking for 15 years now, about 20 cigs a day, started when I was 16. I also smoked cannabis daily during that time, which is traditionally mixed with tobacco here, so all those bong rips will also have done some damage. A hacking cough and clearing out your lungs every morning can't be ignored lol.

In my twenties, I also used to drink quite heavily, but I seem to have been lucky in that regard, no lasting damage, at least not yet.

However, I'm currently addicted to opiates and benzos, but have managed to taper both to quite small amounts, 0,5mg of bupe and 20mg diazepam a day. I'm prescribed clonazepam for sleeplessness, but I prefer diazepam, agrees better with me but for some reason I can't get a script for it (a bit strange really, my doc had no problems with prescribing all other common benzos). I've yet to see whether this will cause long term issues, but I don't think so, as opiates are really forgiving in this regard, and my benzo taper should be complete sometime this year. Maybe I've already fried some brain cells with the latter, but certainly nothing drastic, as my brain is responsible for doing my job, and so far the quality of my work hasn't diminished noticeably.

So, ironically, even though I've tried most "hard" drugs, the ones that left their mark are either legal (cigs, my lungs really do feel shitty) or widely considered harmless (MJ, my memory isn't what it used to be, but that may also come from the natural aging process).

To finish this up, I'm fucking glad I never touched a needle even when I was deep into my H addiction. I'm not sure if I'd be here to post this if I had. I really feel for you guys who have needle damage, several IRL friends of mine have as well, shit flat out sucks.
 
A few straight months of hard liquor abuse at the age of 15. A two year Opiate addiction from 18 to 20. A few straight months of solid Psychedelic addiction, taking LSD, and various RC's as often as I could. Smoking cigarettes in between all this, and as of lately been abusing MXE in high doses. Been on various medications throughout my life. Ritalin at the age of 7 to 10. As well as Anti-Depressants during my years of being addicted to Opiates.

Nowadays, I can't tell if I'm fucked mentally because of these chemicals, or if I've simply been fucked all along. Have always been reclusive, depressed, and such. I probably have a fucked up liver. As for everything else, no idea. I'm only 21, but I feel okay. I haven't been to a doctor in years though. For all I know, I could drop dead tomorrow and I wouldn't even expect it.

We're all fucked, ha.
 
lets see ,i was a heavy heavy drinker from 15 to 22 ,so much that my liver values rose to 150 ,and a few times i was stupid enough to take large doses of tylenol ,up to 7500mg one time 10 vic. ES

i iv'd ALOT of pills,over the years and i am very scared ill end up with talcosis because of it

i have like 4-5 broken needles in me ,and a couple that really worry me since they broke trying to reach the femoral vein,resulting in pain here and there from them

i feel so dirty and low...maybe even cheap because of the desperate things i have done
 
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