betterdaysahead1
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2016
- Messages
- 1
I was misdiagnosed ADHD and had to fought through adderall addiction, unless I'm unaware how much I need it but I'd like to think it was a misdiagnosis based on my unemployed worsening circumstances (hence why I need your input). I am in that window between bar exam results and finishing law school but broke and unemployed no matter how hard I try. I met a beautiful girl coming out of a bad breakup years ago on POF and she had drug abuse past of her own (heavy opiate addict she was). she knew I was fighting through adderall addiction myself or at least struggling through full time law school and i ended up continuing to spiral on the instant release adderall taking so much in excess with her and living in isolation. I knew she was using something cause i was a mess, but lost all control on my end that couldn't even stay in class.
It was end of my second year, I wore a hat to cover my face and dark circles and i was at my lowest anxiety wise with no summer job lined up, until I applied out of desperation to very rare opt that came my way from Washington. I immediately knew I had to live differently for me and her and had to turn my life around no matter what changed. I tried the Adderall XR in the past but for some reason was better on the IR or at least more effective at asserting myself until it became horrible, so I decided to ask my doc for Adderall XR 25 mg and just held onto it after finals for my summer internship position, but also asked for the first time for an SSRI that treated anxiety called Lexapro. He put me on 10 mg and instantly i was able to go to class and sit in my chair without shaking or hiding my ass, I became so viciously angry at my family for letting me get so low that I now had even more motivation than before. I ended up on a combo of Lexapro 10 mg and Adderall XR 25 mg and went off to Washington with my girl but didn't take adderall dose yet just lexapro. First day i noticed at work I wasn't normal or at least not in right frame of mind on lexapro, i was uncomfortable at whatever i was feeling or where it was coming from so i immediately opened my adderall and took it with lexapro, FINALLY stability. I was able to go to work and yea i felt sped up sometimes but finally was able to settle in and get in a routine with her of hitting gym every morning, but didn't listen to supervisors and felt somewhat manic. I knew something had to be off but didn't know what or why.
Fast forward some time, i went back to LS my third year and knew we wouldn't last if I stayed on Adderall so i tried to live better and jumped to Vyvanse 50 mg and Lexapro 10 mg. I looked even better, but she looked more uncomfortable around me and I did lose my motivation and drive to the point i couldn't answer a question in class. we spent my third year working out and BS i felt my resume was good enough and didn't realize how much i lost direction of my own life...
bar exam rolls around switch back to adderall, she disappears and i focus in on my exam and she dumps me day of my bar exam after i failed the first time. i knew her true colors were about money as i became worse again or started to see not sure yet, but regardless financially i couldn't escape her house every weekend with her anymore and her step dad was putting her on me and i was trying the entire time to move out with her. I figured lexapro was a problem so i tried to come off it and immediately starting panicking and getting worse that i now was on on lexapro 10 mg and klonopin 10 mg for additional panic and anxiety to help me sleep. i was in worst condition since july and been broke since. few weeks ago i started lexapro back up and started owning my decisions, felt more responsible for the mess i was in and didn't want to blame her anymore, the lexapro i thought ruined me actually helped me.
i figured since just waiting on results take strict D-amp and vyvanse never worked for me as i was always irritable on it so my doc knew i was in bad way and gave me dex spansules 10 mg twice a day and i got my hands on some nuvigil . it was by far best i felt on add meds and i visited her at work and asked to speak to her in private. her staff immediately gave me dirty looks as they should have i guess, but i apologized and took responsibility for causing a mess in her life and mine and said i was growing she said she could see that and always knew i was living in a toxic broken home and she is doing better too now (i could easily see she was on something that she quit and didn't look like she even knew what happened unless i need adderall and don't realize it cause classes are over and she doesn't know how to tell me). she told me she slept with someone 20 days after our breakup when she dumped me day of my bar exam which caused me to get worse, but my motivation for getting better was to live better so i said i wasn't there to get back just to say sorry and she started sweating looking like she wanted to cry and said she's not with anyone really .. and i said whatever regardless you look great and she said ill see you as in she expected to see me soon enough.
so i had bachelor party with my friends i went too and noticed i wasn't having as much fun as i use to with my ex and felt limited mentally, i knew maybe the damp and nuvigil wasn't working as well, even after hooking up with new random girl over there. i still loved my ex and didn't know what happened... now here i am 2 to 3 weeks away from results and my doc is asking what meds i want to try now... my family is hesitant over here to see me go back to adderall, yet i worked in a very prestigious office in washington on it that second summer with my ex and they said any girl would have gone but whatever she was amazing and i obviously live better with her.
i told my family ill call in my adderall if i need it cause need stability and a job but i will admit the l-amp does cause an anxiety i almost can't stand anymore and my ex also said adderall was an issue so didn't want it even if i needed it in a way... Ive heard of Evekeo and was thinking of calling in that with dex spangles and changing lexapro to effexor but i will say this.... Lexapro is impossible for me to get off of for whatever reason i go into horrible GI problems and panic attack mode, that i def need it.
Just been on Lex and nuvigil but nuvigil causes insomnia. Should I ask for the time released adderall as its more subtle than adderall IR or never go back and try evoke or something else? the key here is to be subtle cause I'm interviewing at some places and can't look like 27 year old crackajack but also need to treat my mental issues. Either I have ADHD and my ex was tired of me on and off meds or I don't and its taking care of another condition that my family doesn't believe in it. Help please TY
It was end of my second year, I wore a hat to cover my face and dark circles and i was at my lowest anxiety wise with no summer job lined up, until I applied out of desperation to very rare opt that came my way from Washington. I immediately knew I had to live differently for me and her and had to turn my life around no matter what changed. I tried the Adderall XR in the past but for some reason was better on the IR or at least more effective at asserting myself until it became horrible, so I decided to ask my doc for Adderall XR 25 mg and just held onto it after finals for my summer internship position, but also asked for the first time for an SSRI that treated anxiety called Lexapro. He put me on 10 mg and instantly i was able to go to class and sit in my chair without shaking or hiding my ass, I became so viciously angry at my family for letting me get so low that I now had even more motivation than before. I ended up on a combo of Lexapro 10 mg and Adderall XR 25 mg and went off to Washington with my girl but didn't take adderall dose yet just lexapro. First day i noticed at work I wasn't normal or at least not in right frame of mind on lexapro, i was uncomfortable at whatever i was feeling or where it was coming from so i immediately opened my adderall and took it with lexapro, FINALLY stability. I was able to go to work and yea i felt sped up sometimes but finally was able to settle in and get in a routine with her of hitting gym every morning, but didn't listen to supervisors and felt somewhat manic. I knew something had to be off but didn't know what or why.
Fast forward some time, i went back to LS my third year and knew we wouldn't last if I stayed on Adderall so i tried to live better and jumped to Vyvanse 50 mg and Lexapro 10 mg. I looked even better, but she looked more uncomfortable around me and I did lose my motivation and drive to the point i couldn't answer a question in class. we spent my third year working out and BS i felt my resume was good enough and didn't realize how much i lost direction of my own life...
bar exam rolls around switch back to adderall, she disappears and i focus in on my exam and she dumps me day of my bar exam after i failed the first time. i knew her true colors were about money as i became worse again or started to see not sure yet, but regardless financially i couldn't escape her house every weekend with her anymore and her step dad was putting her on me and i was trying the entire time to move out with her. I figured lexapro was a problem so i tried to come off it and immediately starting panicking and getting worse that i now was on on lexapro 10 mg and klonopin 10 mg for additional panic and anxiety to help me sleep. i was in worst condition since july and been broke since. few weeks ago i started lexapro back up and started owning my decisions, felt more responsible for the mess i was in and didn't want to blame her anymore, the lexapro i thought ruined me actually helped me.
i figured since just waiting on results take strict D-amp and vyvanse never worked for me as i was always irritable on it so my doc knew i was in bad way and gave me dex spansules 10 mg twice a day and i got my hands on some nuvigil . it was by far best i felt on add meds and i visited her at work and asked to speak to her in private. her staff immediately gave me dirty looks as they should have i guess, but i apologized and took responsibility for causing a mess in her life and mine and said i was growing she said she could see that and always knew i was living in a toxic broken home and she is doing better too now (i could easily see she was on something that she quit and didn't look like she even knew what happened unless i need adderall and don't realize it cause classes are over and she doesn't know how to tell me). she told me she slept with someone 20 days after our breakup when she dumped me day of my bar exam which caused me to get worse, but my motivation for getting better was to live better so i said i wasn't there to get back just to say sorry and she started sweating looking like she wanted to cry and said she's not with anyone really .. and i said whatever regardless you look great and she said ill see you as in she expected to see me soon enough.
so i had bachelor party with my friends i went too and noticed i wasn't having as much fun as i use to with my ex and felt limited mentally, i knew maybe the damp and nuvigil wasn't working as well, even after hooking up with new random girl over there. i still loved my ex and didn't know what happened... now here i am 2 to 3 weeks away from results and my doc is asking what meds i want to try now... my family is hesitant over here to see me go back to adderall, yet i worked in a very prestigious office in washington on it that second summer with my ex and they said any girl would have gone but whatever she was amazing and i obviously live better with her.
i told my family ill call in my adderall if i need it cause need stability and a job but i will admit the l-amp does cause an anxiety i almost can't stand anymore and my ex also said adderall was an issue so didn't want it even if i needed it in a way... Ive heard of Evekeo and was thinking of calling in that with dex spangles and changing lexapro to effexor but i will say this.... Lexapro is impossible for me to get off of for whatever reason i go into horrible GI problems and panic attack mode, that i def need it.
Just been on Lex and nuvigil but nuvigil causes insomnia. Should I ask for the time released adderall as its more subtle than adderall IR or never go back and try evoke or something else? the key here is to be subtle cause I'm interviewing at some places and can't look like 27 year old crackajack but also need to treat my mental issues. Either I have ADHD and my ex was tired of me on and off meds or I don't and its taking care of another condition that my family doesn't believe in it. Help please TY