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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

Do you care what others think of you?

Sadie said:
nearly the same buffnstuff, 6 people whom I am very close to (this is mostly immediate family) . About another 5 that really care about me and the rest wouldn't even care and to be honest I don't care much about either.
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Sadly non of the people that genuinely care for me are family ?
 
When I say family I mean 2 of them are my children and 1 is best friend whom I think of as an adopted sister....

Unless you're truly horrible most kids love their parents very very much.


( Unless they're going through a phase )
 
Far too much and not at all... All depends on whom the t'other is...
 
Being diagnosed with aspergers aged 26 I really did question what I really thought about and i definitely would care what others thought about me, I was as bad as I almost knew what someone would say about me but I would think that too about myself being in their shoes.. I do agree that it's their own thoughts simple as that and it's none of my business unless it seriously impacts my life/head but usually the latter would be a friend Who I care about and want to bring something up with them, I hate confrontation and get anxious around arguments too
 
No, not really. It's important to be responsible for your own shit but I can control others' thought. Only my actions.
 
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I bet the owner of that bike lives in Austin, Texas. Am sure I've seen them pottering about on it on a couple things I've seen recently that feature Austin specifically (infamous for its extensive hipster population apparently). If it is that fella he has especially fine facial furniture and a nice hat too.

There is only one Texan whose opinion matters to me, of course...
 
Shambles said:
I bet the owner of that bike lives in Austin, Texas. Am sure I've seen them pottering about on it on a couple things I've seen recently that feature Austin specifically (infamous for its extensive hipster population apparently). If it is that fella he has especially fine facial furniture and a nice hat too.

There is only one Texan whose opinion matters to me, of course...
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Rocky Erikson or Ronnie Reagan?
 
Yeah I guess I do care what others think of me. I know I shouldn't though.

And knowing is half the battle.
 
I don't care what people say's about me since I am unique. I believe I am bless or more blessed as what they talk behind and they are probably hate me because I am top among them.
 
I hate to admit it but when I was younger I used to give a shit once upon a time about what people thought about me.

Needless to say to anyone who's seen me at work on here for the last 4 years that I've given up on that long time ago =D.

Fuck the cunts innit.
 
Sometimes. It's usually either I don't give a shit, I care a bit too much or care obsessively.

Just thought about it but I think that it's more a case of that I don't believe anyone will like or "get" me and therefore sort of panic and express myself in a way that just doesn't portray the "me" I might be capable of projecting but instead I act really socially awkward. Me doesn't come across as me sometimes, I know that probably won't make any sense. Most of the time, but not always, I'll cringe at the way I write/say things and sometimes it doesn't have to be what I'm saying but why/how I say it and so on that makes me feel ashamed...especially if it's a spontaneous post so I've swung from spontaneously writing whatever springs to mind to feeling ashamed of the way I act/speak which may lead to being overly cautious i.e. self-isolation, holding back certain parts of "me" out of fear of looking stupid, analysing a message for half an hour before sending a reply to a text and so on. I suppose it's about finding the right balance.

Now that's some good advice down there @Becoming Julie.
 
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I try to tell myself that what other people think of me is really none of my business.
 
Of course I care, I wish I didn't, alas; "others" includes every bit of human interaction I'll ever experience, and I'd very much like to spend the rest of my life with an "other".
That's not to say I haven't filed 99% of social interaction under "bunch of dicks" and "not really worth getting the hump over", just that it's difficult to be truly happy, in my understanding, if one is alone eternally.

<3
 
Eh it goes both ways.
I try hard to present a certain humble, non-threatening, poor, yet freindly, and reasonably bright image when it comes to the general public.
I like to get along with my peers at work, and try to only kick upwards.
I do care what my wife and my dad think about me.
Still what I think about myself is by far the most important, the love of others makes me sad when I hate myself.
 
It really does depend on the person. If I care for them then I care of their opinions. if I don't, then feck off ya ignorant cunt. ( or outwardly just silence )
 
If I did i'd bloody exhausted, wrecked anyway, but not over that. There's a whole big thing been brewing, and I've been adding to it, and taking some away - But the (50yr+) minnesota 12 step rehab model coupled with all persuasive Catholic guilt ends up really, really damaging. If i'd not swallowed a lot of pride and - just vicious auld lies, I'd be getting of the plane in Melbourne this afternoon.

I think I made the right move though. Basically the jist is medicine often by humiliation 6 days a week - one an American man comes in a few hours and with a manilla folder gets you to score yourself and the proverbial pat on the back.

Without changing my name which I must do - because I studied this. Families and those close are primed - really - to write as brutal a letter as they can muster. And I don't blame my family - I did - I was getting hauled over the coals for shit I did at 7. But the deal was be as mean as you possibly can. My Da even said, I've 2000 words here but I don't know if it's hard enough - Advised to re-write. For better or worse my family are highly literate, considerably more than me.

So in the depths of rapid benzo taper I'm handed 5 character assassinations from your family like. Then stay the course, most don't, you'll wind up in the 'hot seat' - a 6 hour (used to be 2 days) 'life story' where a lack of honesty will see a 60 year old man, 46 years factory work, humiliated in front of 15 strangers with text from these gospel accounts used to damn.

I did 6 weeks and he was there for the first 3. Humble, mannered, ill. Of course after the band 10 Rottweiler finished him, straight back to the booze.

(un)luckily I'd ample in digressions to disclose for 6 hours, fuckn Ben Hur, but when it came to the letters I said your not getting them. I showed pieces to the head Psyche and she said this is not therapeutic, I'm not allowed to share. Well never mind the bollocks - this was perfect, one email, 'yea thanks for the 10,000 odd words of self-esteem food processing - but not therapeutic, head buck Psyche says not to be incorporated - I've to draw a line under them and move on.

Of course, I reveled a bit - (dangerous) because I was hitting a hornets nest a hook. Ever decreasing visits ended on sour notes, I'd spent 6 weeks in Rehab an wasn't allowed one in the family home. See most families are pretty fucked out of the box, by no age the roles of 'pleaser', golden child', 'comedian', 'ADD - needs the extra attention' and the 'Black Sheep' all operate in tangible dysfunction. That's it. Pretty much.

Now my pity has gone. Under the influence, over the influence I did shit, entirely self obsessed, we dull the trauma - but that's their trauma. But without rattling out my real trauma, severe. The game feels rigged.

I dunno, maybe I should be in Melbourne today, maybe the multiverse will spill it's masterplan after this strange sougne. Couldn't stay in touch with anyone, they all hit it as hard or harder. This time last year you'd be lucky to get a sixpack of slurred syllables. Now I have a referenced opinion. For that's use. Not here, but if arseholes could fly... My taper at the end was a ton of bricks 4mg to Nada 4 weeks.

Lay there in fresh familiar hell 4 days no sleep, the 3-FMP worries me. I'm yet to see something go up, or maybe I just have ADD like my Father and brother (meds) and found a long alluded bastion of clarity without anarchy. I say that enough, I'll be a meth head.

So I'd be lying to say I don't care, I think the NHS rehab system mired in humiliation is a paradoxical beast - one hand you've 'the injustice of it all' - other you've the 'fuck you, I'm not falling into a state to be told what a state I am'. I wonder. Bent your ears. Cheers for reading.
 
Erikmen said:
No, not really. It's important to be responsible for your own shit but I can't control others' thought. Only my actions.
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Exactly. That was the conclusion it took me about 43 years to arrive at. It was like a eureka moment, and a weight was lifted off my shoulders, not having to worry about others judging me all the time. Since i realised that it certainly feels like i am only very rarely being openly judged. I'm not so insecure anymore that i have to keep subconsciously checking with other people 'am i doing ok here?' which seems to have directly led to a reduction in feelings of 'feeling judged.' I think its all down to putting on a confident front even if you dont feel it. Fake it till you make it. I have been astonished in the past when people have described me as very confident, at times when i have been feeling exactly the opposite.

As my mother said, as long as i know what i am doing, and my motives behind it, other people can think whatever they like, its none of my business, and in those circumstances i really don't really care what they think, especially if the other party are people who dont know me, or people who's opinions i do not respect.

In other situations if i've put my best effort in and my best foot forward there's FA else I can do about what other people think and i can leave them to it, safe in the knowledge that if i have crossed some line or other someone or other will not hesitate to tell me all about it.
 
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