I used to get a nice buzz off ativan and no cravings for booze way back in 1989, when I got into my Dad's stash of I'd swear 10milligram "A" shaped ativans. Or maybe I wasn't aware they were 1milligrams, anyway I was gobbling em up everyday until my stepmom saw my eyes and I started just laughing hysterically about something.
I had a great week of fun, until she found em and flushed em down the toilet, I can never forget that. But the strange thing is, ever since then I never have got a buzz from any benzo like I did that one time. Of course fast forward to the past few years. I have been prescribed valium 10mg 3x daily and then I was on ativan 1mg 3x daily when I was on suboxone. Now for the past year or so I have been on xanax 2mg 3x daily plus now I'm on 200mg methadone 1x daily and I dont get anything at all off my xanax except nodding off.
I did however stumble across diphenhydramine potentiating methadone and this past August, I went to get my xanax filled and bought otc sleep aid gelcaps with 50mg diphenhydramine per pill and I took 2 before bed that night and I loved the buzzy feeling I got. I slept good and when I dosed that morning I noticed the methadone gave me a better feeling than normal.
I dont know what the heck happened though, I think I stayed on them too long, I was taking the sleeping pills almost every night for a month and was taking up to 4 during the night and just one night I took 7 total during the night.
Long story short, I just remember starting to get sick feeling and no appetite, I quit the diphenhydramine cold turkey and 4 days later I was pukeing so bad that all I was pukeing was stomach acid and I wish I had tried taking 2 of them to see if it was wd's. Instead I wound up in the er and spent 8 days in HELL!!!! in a horrible "nut ward" at the hospital, where I puked for days and was put on some horrible antipsychotic that made me a zombie. Worse yet the idiot psychiatrist there took me literally CT off my xanax and gave me just a few days worth of clonopin 0.2mg 2x daily and some dumb nurse gave my methadone to some other patient. Wow was I fucked up. It took me having to hide the "zombie" pills in my mouth until I could flush em down the toilet and me being able to eat again and not be delusional anymore before I finally got outta that hell hole a day before thanksgiving.
Worse yet, I'm sure alot of you know that alot if not all "psych wards" play mind games with patients and I dont know if it's the guards or staff or whatnot, but where I was, they had this sophisticated stuff they could do with technology these days. They were doing everything from playing strange noises from what sounded like the floor above or below me, playing certain videos on the tv that seemed like they were really on tv etc. I was glad to get out of there, I hope I OD before I ever wind up in a place like that again!!.
Yet 2 months after I got out I got so sick of feeling almost no buzz whatsoever from being back on xanax and my usual 200mg mmt, that I took a chance and bought a weeks worth of more diphenhydramine. Only this time I only took 2 before bed and max 4 at a time one night. Does anyone know how I can avoid a repeat of the hell I went through?