i have never tried dmt, i am thinking of trying it in a few weeks, can you tell me about your first experience?
My first experience with 20mg was fantastic. It was like everything I was seeing was an explosion of myself. It's very hard to explain. Your body becomes completely alien, everything does, really. It's like being thrust into a heavy LSD trip out of nowhere for 10 minutes.
Last like, late June through late July I did DMT for a month straight out of a cart my friend made, he'd been selling them. The dosing is tricky with them, I'd usually trip really really hard though, sometimes to the point of blacking out. I had a bad time off 50mg last year but I didn't want to give up. I was on an SNRI which is likely why I didn't break through but we were using a glass dabber which means some of it could've came off and made it more like 30mg or something. With the vape pen I was probably on average having like a 20mg trip. I want more of that, when I ran out I was bummed. Had HPPD for a little while but I didn't really mind. I then went on to eat shrooms pretty often in August, extending the HPPD (it actually was much worse after a heavy shroom trip, saw skeleton heads in everything for like a month or so). It didn't really freak me out, and I handled the trip well considering it was quite terrifying, most people I think would freak out if they saw kaleidoscopic skeleton people cartwheeling everywhere, seeing skull faces in everything. DMT never did anything like that to me, I mean it took weeks to get any HPPD and it was only wobbly text while reading or typing, or random CEVs which were especially prominent if I got baked.
Anyway, it's scary. You are never ready to be thrust into that. But after like 10 trips off the pen, I would get very excited about it. Nervous, but excited, because my mind was more familiar with the effects, the visuals (which were different every time, but the body high always felt the same). I once watched all of the flesh off my feet melt off and then turn into starfish that were like, waving around and then they looked like seashells, my room was flashing colors and breathing, objects seemed to "shrink" or narrow in this unexplainable way. I thought it was pretty awesome actually, but at first, I was looking at my feet like "what the fuck are these things???" it's not a good idea to look at your body on DMT lol. Once I looked at my teeth and they just looked... unreal, alien, fake. My hands always look so weird, my veins seem to disappear entirely, sometimes they'd even look transparent, like I could see through them.
Anyway, the first 20mg experience was actually quite intense. I started out laughing a lot, then I was hit with a major body rush, closed my eyes and saw the most incredible lotus flower, fractal images spinning around. CEVs on DMT are great, but I often opted to keep my eyes open just to see how distorted things would look.
Above all, it doesn't last that long, so it's not worth being too scared over.