Disappointed in Myself

[Jabberwocky]

I was here years ago, and now I find myself struggling to find a reason not to use certain things when I’m much happier with them in my life. I don’t suffer the common definitions on addiction, IE my bills are paid, I don’t hurt anyone, steal, I’m active and think about helping the less fortunate. But I still find myself debating should I take that puff of the cigar, what about the Oxycodone, I’m legitimately in pain and I’m doing half of a common dose. Thoughts? I really am suffering today

 

[Painful One]

If you are in pain then you do what you need to do to function and feel the best you can and don’t worry about it.

 

[d1nach]

Are you having a puff of a cigar during a relaxing saturday, drinking a glass of wine or one beer at dinner, taking painkillers for pain as prescribed. Or are you chain smoking, chugging a bottle of whiskey, and downing the pills in three days?

I dont not recommend you should use any drugs. But, im not sure its that weird to want things that make you feel good and or in less pain. Just somepeople like when i have alcohol or xanax i end just causing me to feel worse and much more pain.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Currently on day 3 or no cigars well technically I just mix the tobacco leaf wrapper with CBD flower, but I will slowly go from a hit or two to every hour. It has drawn a stress between my significant other, mainly because of smell.. and the fact they want the best for me. Not COPD. As for the opiate, we’ve commented on post before this so I’m sure you’ve seen it’s 5 mg every 6 hours for pain, but I must admit the mood boost is incredible. But yes, deep down I guess why I’m disappointed is cause I suffered from these vices before mainly the tobacco I could do without the Oxy, but the taste the relaxation the comfort I feel from tobacco in my lungs is quite hard for me to squash no matter how long I have obstained from it.

Are you having a puff of a cigar during a relaxing saturday, drinking a glass of wine or one beer at dinner, taking painkillers for pain as prescribed. Or are you chain smoking, chugging a bottle of whiskey, and downing the pills in three days?

I dont not recommend you should use any drugs. But, im not sure its that weird to want things that make you feel good and or in less pain. Just somepeople like when i have alcohol or xanax i end just causing me to feel worse and much more pain.

 

[Jabberwocky]

My apologies for thinking you was painful one, I just seen it was a totally different response but you can look back at my previous posts if you’d like and draw some better. conclusions

Are you having a puff of a cigar during a relaxing saturday, drinking a glass of wine or one beer at dinner, taking painkillers for pain as prescribed. Or are you chain smoking, chugging a bottle of whiskey, and downing the pills in three days?

I dont not recommend you should use any drugs. But, im not sure its that weird to want things that make you feel good and or in less pain. Just somepeople like when i have alcohol or xanax i end just causing me to feel worse and much more pain.

 

[Painful One]

Yeah, well I have a severe brain disease and suffer unimaginable pain.
Headaches so severe that they knock my vision and speech out and leave me throwing up violently curled up on the bathroom floor for days at a time. A brain disease where movement is so extremely hard for me that I can barely bath, feed myself, and keep the house clean.

I’m so tired of the judgement from my family and others who only hear “opiate epidemic “ and “addiction“.
I’m so tired of being persecuted while I am dying a severely painful death that I tend to side with the person in pain taking whatever is needed to reduce major suffering and make them have some kind of quality of life. As low level as that might be.

If you can go without Oxy or other strong opiates then it is best to do so.
One day you just might NEED them and I mean NEED them to function at all!

I am done feeling bad about it!
I never did feel bad about it until Family/ friends have made me feel bad about it!
They have no idea what they are talking about!

For those who are in a situation like me, do what you need to do and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it.

How I wish that I could not HAVE to take medication!

 

[Meth novice 79]

Yeah, well I have a severe brain disease and suffer unimaginable pain.
Headaches so severe that they knock my vision and speech out and leave me throwing up violently curled up on the bathroom floor for days at a time. A brain disease where movement is so extremely hard for me that I can barely bath, feed myself, and keep the house clean.

I’m so tired of the judgement from my family and others who only hear “opiate epidemic “ and “addiction“.
I’m so tired of being persecuted while I am dying a severely painful death that I tend to side with the person in pain taking whatever is needed to reduce major suffering and make them have some kind of quality of life. As low level as that might be.

If you can go without Oxy or other strong opiates then it is best to do so.
One day you just might NEED them and I mean NEED them to function at all!

I am done feeling bad about it!
I never did feel bad about it until Family/ friends have made me feel bad about it!
They have no idea what they are talking about!

For those who are in a situation like me, do what you need to do and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it.

How I wish that I could not HAVE to take medication!

I just want to give you the hugest hugs after reading this

You’re the one always there for everyone here all the time, and I didn’t know how unwell you are
Sending love and healing x

 

[Painful One]

I just want to give you the hugest hugs after reading this

You’re the one always there for everyone here all the time, and I didn’t know how unwell you are
Sending love and healing x

awww...thank you for the huge hug!
I appreciate that.

Sorry for the rant. Lol!
I get frustrated at times. Especially over the stupid medication.
It is a hard time to live with health problems with the current climate about opiates.

I hope you are feeling better!
I’m very proud of you for quitting The alcohol!
You are doing really good.
Hugs

 

[Hylight]

Yeah, well I have a severe brain disease and suffer unimaginable pain.
Headaches so severe that they knock my vision and speech out and leave me throwing up violently curled up on the bathroom floor for days at a time. A brain disease where movement is so extremely hard for me that I can barely bath, feed myself, and keep the house clean.

I’m so tired of the judgement from my family and others who only hear “opiate epidemic “ and “addiction“.
I’m so tired of being persecuted while I am dying a severely painful death that I tend to side with the person in pain taking whatever is needed to reduce major suffering and make them have some kind of quality of life. As low level as that might be.

If you can go without Oxy or other strong opiates then it is best to do so.
One day you just might NEED them and I mean NEED them to function at all!

I am done feeling bad about it!
I never did feel bad about it until Family/ friends have made me feel bad about it!
They have no idea what they are talking about!

For those who are in a situation like me, do what you need to do and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it.

How I wish that I could not HAVE to take medication!

if they are so worried about being addicted then they shouldn't take anything. it should be none of their business what you or i take if they. . . are the ones worried about getting addicted. for goodness sake already. you only live once so why should it be anyone's business what helps someone else get though their own affairs.
pain management should be an option just like medical weed is . . . . so damn far !

 

[Iceman1216]

I have found if you are taking medicine for legitimate pain, then I have no risk of Addiction, i may and will get dependent on a certain medicine and will need to Slowly tapper off and let my body adjust. Pain I have found to be stronger than addiction on my brain. But when I use mood altering substances for recreation All bets are off, and addiction is a Very strong second to pain!!

 

[Hylight]

right !

 

[Painful One]

I have found if you are taking medicine for legitimate pain, then I have no risk of Addiction, i may and will get dependent on a certain medicine and will need to Slowly tapper off and let my body adjust. Pain I have found to be stronger than addiction on my brain. But when I use mood altering substances for recreation All bets are off, and addiction is a Very strong second to pain!!

VERY well spoken Iceman!

That right there is the truth.
“Pain I have found to be stronger than addiction on my brain. But when I use mood altering substances for recreation All bets are off, and addiction is a Very strong second to pain!!”
Keep that in mind my dear friends.

Nothing worse than pain but addiction is a close second!!

The only people that I have found who can even relate to the kind of pain I endure with brain disease are people who are addicted.
Addiction is a very painful disease to have also.

Moderation in all things. Keep yourself away from becoming addicted.
Be Well Friends.

 

[Iceman1216]

@Painful One ; Girl you are the Best I have leaned on your wisdom many times on here, thank you. Even addicts are not going to or should not be subjected to additional and unnecessary Pain!!! But I must say that I am seeing just that lately as I go for my biannual cancer check ups. I am lucky ( in one regard, and Fucked in another) that I had my cancer treatments 12 years ago, right in the marketing push of big pharma for more opiates are good for everyone? Now truth be told that Cancer patients can still be freely prescribes strong opiates, just monitored a little bit more. But newer patients are having to endure more upfront pain to get help?? That sucks in my opinion, and oncologist Knows what his treatments will cause to a healthy person who just happens to have Cancer.

 

[Painful One]

Girl you are the Best I have leaned on your wisdom many times on here, thank you. Even addicts are not going to or should not be subjected to additional and unnecessary Pain!!! But I must say that I am seeing just that lately as I go for my biannual cancer check ups. I am lucky ( in one regard, and Fucked in another) that I had my cancer treatments 12 years ago, right in the marketing push of big pharma for more opiates are good for everyone? Now truth be told that Cancer patients can still be freely prescribes strong opiates, just monitored a little bit more. But newer patients are having to endure more upfront pain to get help?? That sucks in my opinion, and oncologist Knows what his treatments will cause to a healthy person who just happens to have Cancer.

Thank you Iceman!
I have also leaned on your wisdom many times on here. I thank you as well.
I value what you have to say very much.
I pray your cancer stays away! I’m glad you didn’t have to suffer as much as the new patients.
My heart goes out to people suffering with painful conditions.

yeah, it is horrible what they are making people endure before actually prescribing opiates/ opioids.
They make you feel like it is all in your head and you are a Drug seeking addict.
There are many diseases and conditions that don’t show much on tests until they become extremely severe.
I had Endured severe pain, no sleep, no eating, for so long before I finally got help for the pain.
I was practically dead.

I thought it was ridiculous how many anti depressants and other treatments I had to try first. Some of those treatments put me in the hospital from bad effects! God only knows what long term damage those treatments caused to me.

I think (know) we are seeing a lot more suicides from people who are living with chronic pain. Suicides and attempted suicides that could have been prevented by a good doctor stepping up and throwing those people a lifeline.

I sure don’t want to see people become addicted either. That is just a horrific thing.
but, on the other hand, we can’t make it so hard that people who really need this kind of medication are left without help and made to feel like criminals.

You are absolutely right too, that even people who have addiction should not be discriminated against when it comes to living with pain. That just should not matter at that point. Relief from Suffering and torture should be the main concern!
We deserve humane care!

 

[Lebron Redkins]

drugs, they sometimes destroy relationships with everyone who is not dependent on them. I had a problem with alcohol and amphetamine. I used several times a day, and because of this, such things as terrible food, tobacco and a dangerous lifestyle were not considered a problem at all. I thought about quitting only after I stopped taking pleasure in drugs. I needed them only to feel myself not too shitty. But a little shit I felt all the time. I was over 20 years old, and everything went to the point that there are few chances to live to 30. But, thank God, now I have tied up with almost everything, changed my place of residence and stopped communicating with the majority of dependent acquaintances, so as not to return back.

 

[Beowulf10]

Everything in moderation. I dip a can every 2 days and when work gets busy a can a week. And maybe get high on one thing or another every few months. If it’s the difference between a cigar and or another oxy for long term health your better off with the cigar.