AvenaSativa
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2014
- Messages
- 58
The first time I tripped on anything other than DXM and weak shrooms it was ayahuasca. About an hour in my guide was playing Divine Moments of Truth by Shpongle and it happened. I realized that we are manifestations of the universe, that human communication is basically the universe talking to itself. Upon realizing this I exclaimed "We are all changelings in a great link of energy!" and I started ruining upstairs feeling that I was staying in the same spot and everything else was moving around me and my guide followed me, I feel down on the floor smiling and flailing my arms at the top of the stairs and she asked me "Where were you trying to go?" and I said "I don't know" and she said "But you're right where you're supposed to be" and she was correct. The universe is alive and breathing and has multiple consciousness and multiple forms of consciousness. 7 billion human ones.
While this knowledge has been beneficial to me I can't tell how detrimental it may have been as well. I've learned that karma is real and knowing that has helped improve my life, knowing that putting any negativity out into the world causes negativity to be bestowed upon me. I'm no longer a militant nihilistic atheist who thinks all religious people are fools, in fact now it's the militant nihilistic atheists I think are the most foolish. I'm overall more at peace knowing that I am the universe. I am God if you will. During the trip I felt that God was the best description for what I realized I am.
I only use the words "I" and "my guide" because I'm not capable of explaining it exactly how I see it. I'm speaking about a mental dimension with a language developed by another mental dimension so the words don't truly apply. but as far as I see it I was guiding myself in that trip. I knew that I would have a divine moment of truth while listening to the song Divine Moments of Truth. I knew what to say to myself when I ran up the stairs and fell down. I, the single human being I thought I was, is dead. Now this physical manifestation of the universe once called Ashley Smith (not my real name) is aware that she is one of 7 billion manifestations of the universe in human form.
For the detrimental part, sometimes feeling like this and having almost nobody else realize it gets lonely to what is left of my ego. While I know we are all exactly where we're supposed to be on our paths, I feel so far ahead of everyone. A blunt and harsh way to put it is I feel I live on a planet of fools, blinded by their natural human ego, thinking their natural human brain is a flawless tool for perceiving existence just because they haven't perceived existence in any other way while I have. I also sometimes feel that while it's good I learned that depression and anxiety are caused by the human ego, I also learned that happiness and joy is too, that the only true feeling is peace. And sometimes that makes me uncomfortable. I know that with an ego comes separation, hierarchies, labels, mental pain and depression, whereas without an ego I let go of learning and joy and entertainment. So I need to find a healthy balance.
Can anyone relate to this? How do I find a healthy balance of being blinded by my ego and aware?
While this knowledge has been beneficial to me I can't tell how detrimental it may have been as well. I've learned that karma is real and knowing that has helped improve my life, knowing that putting any negativity out into the world causes negativity to be bestowed upon me. I'm no longer a militant nihilistic atheist who thinks all religious people are fools, in fact now it's the militant nihilistic atheists I think are the most foolish. I'm overall more at peace knowing that I am the universe. I am God if you will. During the trip I felt that God was the best description for what I realized I am.
I only use the words "I" and "my guide" because I'm not capable of explaining it exactly how I see it. I'm speaking about a mental dimension with a language developed by another mental dimension so the words don't truly apply. but as far as I see it I was guiding myself in that trip. I knew that I would have a divine moment of truth while listening to the song Divine Moments of Truth. I knew what to say to myself when I ran up the stairs and fell down. I, the single human being I thought I was, is dead. Now this physical manifestation of the universe once called Ashley Smith (not my real name) is aware that she is one of 7 billion manifestations of the universe in human form.
For the detrimental part, sometimes feeling like this and having almost nobody else realize it gets lonely to what is left of my ego. While I know we are all exactly where we're supposed to be on our paths, I feel so far ahead of everyone. A blunt and harsh way to put it is I feel I live on a planet of fools, blinded by their natural human ego, thinking their natural human brain is a flawless tool for perceiving existence just because they haven't perceived existence in any other way while I have. I also sometimes feel that while it's good I learned that depression and anxiety are caused by the human ego, I also learned that happiness and joy is too, that the only true feeling is peace. And sometimes that makes me uncomfortable. I know that with an ego comes separation, hierarchies, labels, mental pain and depression, whereas without an ego I let go of learning and joy and entertainment. So I need to find a healthy balance.
Can anyone relate to this? How do I find a healthy balance of being blinded by my ego and aware?