I've been off everything for over a week now. No w/d but a lot of mental blahs. I have an entire bottle of liquid morphine, but I hate it and I don't need it that badly. I'm just gutting through the pain in my back until my script is filled Friday. I don't want to be out of it, which the morphine tends to do. Still got the mental blahs. From now on it's only my prescription. The main person who gives me oxy and other stuff is on my side. I said nothing, no more, even if I'm begging and, other than the morphine (he's worried I'm going to die from detox), he's been really supportive. He had much the same issue once upon a time.
I have a lot of people who will give me drugs. I don't want them. I want to get my own on my script. So ... a friend I trust implicitly is going to take my oxy and dole it out to me weekly like a kid. I figure that is the best way to get used to not having it around when I get the urge to spend 48 hours straight on oxy. Plus, detoxing from one week's worth is way better than a month's worth. Hopefully, within a couple months, I'll have enough willpower to be able to go it alone.
RTP: My doctor is not pain management but she is the best. Plus, she cried when she got my MRI results. I guess she was so used to people just trying to get drugs that she was taking what I said about the pain with a grain of salt. And I was a new patient then. She did send me to a pain doctor, but I had just started taking vicodan then and I wouldn't consider anything stronger, so she sent me back to my regular doctor. I don't know what my Dr. wrote in my chart, but I have to keep them from giving me shots of dilautin when I go into urgent care, which I hear is almost unheard of. So, she'd be willing to try whatever I wanted. I don't like opana. Like morphine, it either doesn't kill the pain, or it puts me to sleep. I really have access to a small pharmacy's worth of opiates; the problem is that I only want the oxy. And if I'm only going to take the oxy, then I have to be able to get by on my script.
So, that's where I'm going with this. I'm not too concerned with how I take the oxy during the week, as long as it doesn't mess up work, I just want it to last until I get my next week's supply. And what I'm prescribed should be enough. 240/30mg oxy per month plus 60/10 mg valium, plus 90 soma. I give the soma away. I'm not sure what it's supposed to do but it doesn't really do anything for me. A lot of people like it a lot though, apparently. And I'm not at all interested in selling the stuff. If I don't need it and you do, it's yours. I don't want the kind of karma the people who are ripping me off for oxy at $20 a pill are going to get. Not to sound all new agey or anything, but they'll be giving it away now that I'm not interested I think.
