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Derealization

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coldzer0

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Jun 7, 2010
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It's been a week since I took ecstasy and I've been feeling the effects of derealization every single day. Prior to that day, I've rolled every weekend for 4 weekends straight. Each time I rolled, I took one pill and on one of the those weekends I took half a pill. I went through the downing/hangover part of ecstasy and then everyday of this past week I felt as if it were a dream, and I really want it to stop. At first I was really scared that I had permanently damaged my brain but I did some research online and found out it was all in my head, but I'm still unclear about this. I've found posts and other people online that were in the same situation as me and most of solutions and advice people offered was that it will pass, be patient, don't focus on it, and live your life as normal. I've been trying to do this, and it helps but at one point of the day, I think about it too much and have a sort of "panic attack" and I go nuts for a sec.
My derealization at first was really scary and I felt REALLY unfamiliar with everything around me, but each day it got a little better as I felt less detatched from everything.

I have a couple of questions:
1. I know using ecstasy releases serotonin to give you that feeling but is the low level of serotonin related to my feeling of derealization?

2. Is derealization permanent? I've read many posts where people say they've had it for over 2 years or a long period of time. Reading those posts only make me worry even more and lose hope it trying so hard everyday to fight it off.

3. Is drug induced derealization different than natural derealization?

4. Has anyone is the same situation as me gotten better?

I just need some answers, thanks!
 
MazDan, it's a phenomenon pretty readily associated with DXM and other dissociatives. It's a subtle feeling of almost dreaming, as if you're living inside an extremely realistic and vivid virtual reality simulator.

Best way I can describe it. Used to have it on the occasion that I would do Dex.
 
Do you also find that you are completely emotionally detached? In my past there were sometimes after a heavy dose of MDMA that I would get into brief periods of depersonalization/derealization where I couldn't feel anything emotionally. I would almost work myself into a panic and try to watch something/anything on TV that would normally evoke some kind of emotion whether that was anger/happiness/humour/sadness; but I couldn't feel a thing.

If you're talking about the same thing, this kind of depersonalization/derealization is kind of surreal - almost like you're in a dream and watching your body go through the motions without any kind of attachment to what's really happening.

My periods of depersonalization only lasted very briefly, maybe 10 to 20 minutes. I can't imagine how hard it would be to deal with it longer than that, because it's like living in an alien world where nothing has meaning.
 
i had derealization for a few months after an awful time on salvia..

definitely one of the least fun times of my life.

i dont really know what to tell you except itll probably go away and in the mean time avoid drugs, especially the ones that caused it.

it is probably all in your head, as mine was definitely drug induced as well, but in the end i think it was mostly in my head.

derealization is apparently a pretty common thing though, i remember reading that a lot of people go through some sort of derealization episode in their lifetime.

hope you feel better! the best thing is to not think about it! get exercise, meet people, keep yourself busy. eating right couldnt hurt either.
 
I have a mild derrealization. It used to be worse till I stopped caring about it. Just don't worry too much about it and it will go down.
 
one hit of weed results in a week of derealisation for me. as i did weed semi-regularly when i was young and stupid i had derealisation for many months back then.

it's a awful feeling, but you just have to wait it out :\
i've found nothing to really help (well.... except mdma made it better for a few days, but that surely isn't an option for you).
if panic attacks bother you much benzodiazepines may be of help. otherwise i can't give you advice that you haven't heard yet. just keep yourself occupied and let some time pass; it will go away eventually.
 
MrMan737 said:
MazDan, it's a phenomenon pretty readily associated with DXM and other dissociatives. It's a subtle feeling of almost dreaming, as if you're living inside an extremely realistic and vivid virtual reality simulator.

Best way I can describe it. Used to have it on the occasion that I would do Dex.
Click to expand...

cheers mate. Sounds weird.
 
MazDan said:
cheers mate. Sounds weird.
Click to expand...

Its really not that weird if you understand it. Some people can't relate if they have never felt it. I do feel that the term "derealization" is quite odd seeing as your not really "de-realizing" anything in particular.

But it can be a scary thing. If I had to describe "symptoms" it would probably go sumthin' like this:

1.Loss if interest in activities once enjoyed
2.Zero ambition
3.Zero emotions. (Not even enough to want to kill yourself)
4.Poor response to stimuli
5.Feeling like reality is false and without any purpose
6.Detachment from regular activities society partakes in
7.A hollow heart

It sux, it happened to me after I did a bunch of dxm in high school with my homie. We would take coriciden CCC pills (Like 10-12) at a time. Or Nyquil geltabs...

The problem is that after that initial 5 or 6 hour "Whoa Im fucked up feeling" it still feels like you are heavily fucked up. Everything continues to feel so heavy and meaningless. Your not even sad or happy your just like "fuck"

I remember tripping at school one time and acting like a robot. My judgement was impaired and I kept taking more. I would go to sleep thinking everything would be fine the next day....

Then Id wake up 24 hours later...

And still be fucking tripping. It was always like a bad dream from hell...but so was highschool :\
 
Black said:
one hit of weed results in a week of derealisation for me. as i did weed semi-regularly when i was young and stupid i had derealisation for many months back then.

it's a awful feeling, but you just have to wait it out :\
i've found nothing to really help (well.... except mdma made it better for a few days, but that surely isn't an option for you).
if panic attacks bother you much benzodiazepines may be of help. otherwise i can't give you advice that you haven't heard yet. just keep yourself occupied and let some time pass; it will go away eventually.
Click to expand...

OMG!
I know this thread is old as heck, but I'm so glad I've found there's someone else out their like me!
I agree with everything you've said, you've just got to wait it out.
And it WILL go away, just takes some time :)
 
MasterSplinter said:
1.Loss if interest in activities once enjoyed
2.Zero ambition
3.Zero emotions. (Not even enough to want to kill yourself)
4.Poor response to stimuli
5.Feeling like reality is false and without any purpose
6.Detachment from regular activities society partakes in
7.A hollow heart
Click to expand...

Ok you hit the hotspot.. This is what iam feeling now for months.. What is the cure? stop smoking weed? :(
 
LimaZ said:
Ok you hit the hotspot.. This is what iam feeling now for months.. What is the cure? stop smoking weed? :(
Click to expand...

Just to see if it is the weed, I recommend taking 2 week break minimum.
Just keep yourself active, keeping your mind on it isn't very good.

Just try and stop for as long as you can, if you notice a difference in a week, try go another.

You could also just be a really insensitive, introverted, non-empathetic person, sometimes a symptom of anxiety or stress or holding down emotions.
 
I dont have work for 1 year now so i dont do anything, i cant work out my brain.. Every day i wake up at 1pm and i just go out and smoke weed with my friends till i go home at night.. It became a vicius cycle and i think iam depressed because of that.. But i really dont know..
 
If you think that is causing your depression, I'd suggest slowin' down on the marijuana. I'm a regular smoker, but finding things to do other than smoking is in your best interest. Have a bowl now and then, but try to use it as a reward. There are a lot of ways to exercise your brain, including working-out. Are you a gamer? Some games I find to be really intense as far as mental ability and can help keep things sharp (strategy games or puzzle games). Force yourself to get up early one day and do something. Anything. I used to sleep till 1 p.m. every day, and have found my days to be so much more fulfilling when waking up a bit earlier, say 8 or 9. Go wash your car, learn something new, do some yard work. Anything other than just sitting around smoking.
 
MrMan737 said:
MazDan, it's a phenomenon pretty readily associated with DXM and other dissociatives. It's a subtle feeling of almost dreaming, as if you're living inside an extremely realistic and vivid virtual reality simulator.

Best way I can describe it. Used to have it on the occasion that I would do Dex.
Click to expand...

MasterSplinter said:
It sux, it happened to me after I did a bunch of dxm in high school with my homie. We would take coriciden CCC pills (Like 10-12) at a time. Or Nyquil geltabs...

The problem is that after that initial 5 or 6 hour "Whoa Im fucked up feeling" it still feels like you are heavily fucked up. Everything continues to feel so heavy and meaningless. Your not even sad or happy your just like "fuck"

I remember tripping at school one time and acting like a robot. My judgement was impaired and I kept taking more. I would go to sleep thinking everything would be fine the next day....

Then Id wake up 24 hours later...

And still be fucking tripping. It was always like a bad dream from hell...but so was highschool :\
Click to expand...

These two posts, it's like I wrote them on alt accounts or something.

DXM was my first drug ever, even before pot, alcohol, and nicotine. I honestly thought for years that all drugs make you feel THAT shitty. I had such bad long-term effects, one of which was derealisation.

I got it real bad one time, and now I'm wondering if it was seratonin syndrome from redosing (100mg every hour until I killed the bottle of gelcaps). I would get slight motion sickness when walking around, felt sort of like a bobblehead doll, but most of all, I felt like I was in a dream-like state. Even at some points, I felt like I had a mild case of Alice In Wonderland Syndrome, where things were either really big or really small--but they didn't APPEAR that way. I had absolutely no emotion, other than "This really fucking sucks". It took about two weeks for it to completely wear off, and I still get nervous at times when I'm walking...almost as if I'm about to have a flashback. I can almost feel like a camera zooming out, and I'm sitting behind my eyes. I don't know how else to explain it, but it's a scary fucking feeling, and why I can't even take cough medicine when I'm dying of the flu.

Edit: To the OP and anyone else who is worried, it does wear off. Stay clean for a while, try to limit your stress levels, and give yourself a good schedule to follow. Eventually, you'll care more about the schedule then your possibly broken brain, and it'll fix itself in no time. I find that if I force myself to go to bed at a certain time and wake up at a certain time, almost all my psychological issues disappear for a bit, if only because I stress out about THAT and nothing else.
 
coldzer0 said:
It's been a week since I took ecstasy and I've been feeling the effects of derealization every single day. Prior to that day, I've rolled every weekend for 4 weekends straight. Each time I rolled, I took one pill and on one of the those weekends I took half a pill. I went through the downing/hangover part of ecstasy and then everyday of this past week I felt as if it were a dream, and I really want it to stop. At first I was really scared that I had permanently damaged my brain but I did some research online and found out it was all in my head, but I'm still unclear about this. I've found posts and other people online that were in the same situation as me and most of solutions and advice people offered was that it will pass, be patient, don't focus on it, and live your life as normal. I've been trying to do this, and it helps but at one point of the day, I think about it too much and have a sort of "panic attack" and I go nuts for a sec.
My derealization at first was really scary and I felt REALLY unfamiliar with everything around me, but each day it got a little better as I felt less detatched from everything.

I have a couple of questions:
1. I know using ecstasy releases serotonin to give you that feeling but is the low level of serotonin related to my feeling of derealization?

2. Is derealization permanent? I've read many posts where people say they've had it for over 2 years or a long period of time. Reading those posts only make me worry even more and lose hope it trying so hard everyday to fight it off.

3. Is drug induced derealization different than natural derealization?

4. Has anyone is the same situation as me gotten better?

I just need some answers, thanks!
Click to expand...

Nobody can tell you what is causing the feeling your describe. But since E messes with serotonin and dopamine it's probably related to one of those. But who cares? It makes no difference to you now.

Look - you don't even know if you have clinical "derealisation" unless you'e been diagnosed by a psychiatrist or neurologist. Sure you feel spaced out and detached but then I feel like that on a hangover but I don't give it a medical name.

If you keep caning it, taking multiple drugs, missing sleep and so on then you tend to pay for it by feeling out of it for a while and then you get better unless you're really unlucky and happen to have some weakness in that area. Chances are, you don't.

Yes the odd person comes on here with their "I'm absolutely CERTAIN E ruined my brain forever" stories. Personally I think some of them are straight made up. Some of them are real but probably not caused by E at all. And some may be entirely accurate. I don't know. I've not met them and I don't trust people's opinions of themselves or their ability to diagnose themselves. What I do know is that practically everyone I know took a load in the 90s. These people include: head of trading a major bank, award winning equity analyst, famous top graphic designer, award winning interior designer, world famous DJ/music duo, BBC TV producer and scores more with less public profiles who have good jobs, families and above all perfect mental health. Some of us lot took pills into the high hundreds. We went through some rough patches of feeling shite but we're all fine now. So I don't don't buy that E causes widespread problems.

If you want to find something to back up a view or a worry on Google then you will find it. God knows I managed to convince myself I might have lung cancer after googling finger tip pain and a cough!

So chill out. Stop worrying about it. Stop reading up on it. Stop giving it medical names. Accept the fact you've been overdoing it a bit recently. Live healthy. Don't take any drugs. Swear you'll never touch it again. Give it a few months and no doubt you'll be dancing on a podium somewhere, grinning like a loon, pills spilling out of your pockets wondering what you were worrying about.
 
By the way. When you do feel OK in a month or whatever. Will PLEASE come back here and tell everyone. Otherwise your post will become more "proof" in the mind of a fellow paranoid who comes across it.
 
Turmeric or probiotics completely heal/cover my 15 years-old chronic ocd and social anxiety but causes me debilitating mental confusion.Plus i suspect i have a benzo induced derealization/depersonalization without tapering.HELP

I have been suffering from a very serious pure ocd for 10 years that has ruined my life preventing me from doing anything, even writing or thinking normally (because every time it emerges it causes a very strong anxiety).In 15 y i have virtually tried ALL psychiatric medication and also supplements/nootropics with no positive effects..since recently when i discovered that a turmeric or a gulp of golden milk sweeps it away 100% for several hours. The problem is that taking it even in low dosages as in the examples I have reported causes me a very strong mental confusion which in turn prevents me from concentrating even minimally,making me unable to perform any activity thus negating the positive anti-ocd effect. I have read from various sources that turmeric increases levels of serotonin and decreases brain inflammation, is this probably the reason for the mental confusion I experience immediately after taking it? Do you have any solution in this regard?
I point out that even some probiotic supplements with various bacteria strains, even taken once, eliminated my ocd for about five days in a row, but I experience the same confusion problem, in this case even stronger.
I must add that since several years I am taking a medium-dose benzodiazepine for social anxiety four times a day (that I plan to ideally taper to zero by next year) and that in my life I have never suffered from mental fog or concentration issues. On the contrary, I am a very reactive person
IMPORTANT: I must add that that every day from more than a year i also feel a constant depersonalization..but i'm not tapering..then probiotics and turmeric simply greatly increase this feeling.But At this point I believe that in the long term benzodiazepines have ruined my brain. I found articles about derealization / depersonalization induced by benzodiazepines, but none of them talks about how to solve it. Incredibly,for benzodiazepine-induced depersonalization some detoxification clinics recommend the use of antipsychotics and / or synthetic antidepressants: obscene. I ask for help,again
 
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