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Mental Health Depression MEGA Thread - DepressionTalk + Over 100 Links of Info

addictivepersona said:
Mainly posting here so Ii'll see this thread later if anybody else replies... I feel like absolute shiiiit. FOr some reason had the crazy idea Iw as gonna get up early today and eat a good breakfast before work. Hah, well, I'm up early, but it's too quiet in the house to actually cook something without waking everybody... :-/
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Why do you feel like shit? :(
 
SSRI's are not for everyone , but after a month of being on 20mg of Paxil I cannot tell you how my life has changed. The hopeless / lack of motivation / desire to live - all that shit is gone - my social anxiety is in check I rarely take xanax anymore , only for accute anxiety attacks.

People always say, just wait till you try to get off it - I have no plans to do this , if I needed hormone therapy i would be on HRT the rest of my life , I simply do not produce enough seretonin this is evident now. I'm so happy that this has worked out as otherwise I know i would be spinning my tires as per last 6 years of my life.
 
i did therapy for 15 years or more and worked out all my issues and things that bothered me and i'm still getting very frequent panic attacks and i'm on the verge of suicidal all the time
 
hey 2 all my dark side friends...

i cant stop feeling depressed. i just started taking Viibryd a week ago, and i know the effects of some of these medication.. i personally dont think its the medication though. I mean i dont feel any worse then usual, but as some of you know, every day is a constant struggle of mine..
im not suicidal by any means but i cant help but wish there was a magic pill to put me to sleep and never wake up.. im lonely most of the time, my bf is great and all, but i cant tell him anything about this anymore bc he blames it all on the pills or me just being "crazy." My words not his, but i feel this maybe true..

.. I see a therapist but she doesn't help me one bit..
my last apt w/ her for example: everythign we talked about i was like" no shit" i have no real basis for the way I feel but that doesnt mean i dont feel that way. she knows about my anxiety and tells me to self talk, well i feel this is a load of pure shit.. i mean for example, I know a lot of the way i feel there is no fact for, BITCH I KNOW this i just want to scream @ her, so help me stop w/ my anxiety.
lately my anxiety is through the roof, i've begun to have anxiety attacks almost every day and no way to stop them.

I'm just so tired of my lilfe, and i dont know what to do any more..
im not suicidal or anything but i cant help wishing there be a pill to take and just never wake up again, now that would be my blessing.. :(
 
addictivepersona said:
It's far too long and I don't want to ramble. Five words or fewer: Life circumstances/choices.
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Fair enough. I hope it'll get better soon. It's never too late to turn your life around, no matter how stuck you feel, if you aren't happy with it. <3
 
life is like an egg so fragile and easy to destroy i want to die but i have family that would be very upset to say the least
 
Pagey said:
Fair enough. I hope it'll get better soon. It's never too late to turn your life around, no matter how stuck you feel, if you aren't happy with it. <3
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It's not going to get better on its own, but I have decided (thanks to the help of a wonderful friend <3) that I'm going to take things one day at a time from now on, but I'm going to actually start doing at least one thing each day to take things one day at a time. Taking it one day at a time and doing nothing means nothing in terms of changing things. Life fucking sucks to say the least but sitting here wallowing in it isn't going to do shit. Focusing on the good, at least a handful of good things, while trying to improve the bad, may prove to be a better solution. Until I can gtfo.

mrflowers00 said:
life is like an egg so fragile and easy to destroy i want to die but i have family that would be very upset to say the least
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Be thankful your family cares. Mine truly does not. Flashback to Sunday: Brother came over. Dog got out 'cause of him. He chased her 'cause she wouldn't come to him (no surprise there). He finally got her. He beat her with a stick. When he told me this and I started bawling, he did not comprehend what the problem was: "Oooh, [Addi], your dog is so bad--she needed to be taught a lesson for running off!" I explained it be like me beating his son. Then he kinda got it through his thick skull.

You do not beat someone elses dogs. You shouldn't ever "beat" your own. And I can tell by how she cowered around him later that he did beat her. Mom/Gma don't believe he beat her since he 'makes up tales', but I can tell by her reaction he did. :-/

*Sigh* /rambling sorry...
 
^ totally non of my business but ur brother sounds like a giant douche bag who needs to be thrown in jail 4 animal cruelty..
 
Meh, you don't know the half of it. He had three dogs (one of which we currently have--the others went to homes) that he let starve. My mom forced me to go over there (before I knew what was going on) and feed them, and I couldn't not believe my eyes. Could see every backbone and rib in his "baby". And now he has an actual baby! *Shakes head*
 
Given idk ur story but u remind me a lot of myself.. I'm depressed a lot and I always have 2 clean up my siblings mess. Thank god I only have 1 sister. I'm surprised I haven't ended up w/ her kids.. Keep ur head up my dear..
 
I'm wondering if anyone else here has gone through the feeling of feeling a real disconnect with old friends? As in my best friends from high school. I don't even know if they feel it or not or its all me, but just nothing feels the same anymore (I'm a few years out of high school and have moved around a bit but am now back in the area where I went to high school). I know this is a natural process but I feel like in this case it's something related to my own depression - my whole old group of friends is still very close I just find myself not being able to relate to them in the way I used to and intentionally distancing myself from them... just curious for input
 
I feel so empty all the time. I wake up in the morning with nothing to look forward to, nothing I want to do, and I just wait for the day to go by until I can just go back to bed and start the whole thing over the next day. There's just no meaning at all. The nothingness repeats itself constantly and it doesn't stop and I don't know what to do. Nothing makes me happy. things that should just...don't. I don't even feel sad really. It's just empty. I wish there was just one thing that would get me through the days but I can't find it, I can't fnd a point...
 
^ That's exactly my situation, I let it go on for years before I snapped and decided to run as far away as I could to the other side of the world.. for a while I was fine but it's caught up to me again and I honestly don't think I could go back to that emptiness.. I can't face it, I don't know how to.. it's all consuming like an endless void.

When I sit with it, I can see how every action, impulse, emotion and thought of my being is working to distract my attention from the emptiness within me, to fill that void with a distraction, less I experience my own self-annihilation.

This is the fundamental truth to the reality of the situation, and I can choose to forget about it for a while, but as time goes on it becomes increasingly difficult to ignore not to mention exhausting when everything begins to lose its pleasure and meaning.. It feels like a very slow death..

I think it comes down to making a conscious choice to accept the inherent nothingness and meaningless of existence, and through that realize that it all begins with you.

Personally I'm not ready for such an enormous responsibility, I don't even know how to begin accepting myself on that level.
 
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malakaix, I did the same thing - I moved to another country in september because I thought that would enable me to start my life over afresh, to leave the depression behind and give myself a second chance. Obviously it didn't work at all and I'm actually considerably more depressed now than I was before. I think it's probably counter-productive in the long run to try and run away from everything and we should just sit down and face our issues...the past is always going to be with us after all :\
 
Wasn't quite sure where to put this but I thought here would be good.
I have a special message I want to share with TDS community.

A year ago my best friend’s father took his own life. Seeing first-hand over the last 12 months the immense grief and devastation this has caused his family and all who knew and loved him has strengthened my desire to raise awareness about suicide prevention.

If you think someone you know might be struggling, PLEASE take a moment of your time to reach out to them. Ask if they’re okay. Sit down and talk with them, about anything. Even the smallest amount of human contact can make a huge difference in someone’s life when they are feeling lost and alone.

If it is YOU who is struggling and needs help, please don’t be afraid to reach out. People want to help you. There is no shame in being caught in the darkness, the important thing to remember and believe is that you will be happy again. But please talk to someone, you’re not alone.

Please take care of yourselves. We are precious, and we are all in this together <3
 
Great post, n3o.

I was diagnosed major depressive disorder and social anxiety about ten years ago, and was on medication until 2010, when I stopped as a requisite to get into a rehab. I did ok for a while, but over the past several months I've noticed a definite resurgence of my symptoms, and in turn me getting drunk/high to escape the feelings, or more appropriately the lack of feeling.

I've been considering going back on an antidepressant to help stabilize me, and hopefully help my efforts to get clean. I'm just... reluctant. At least I know what med works best for me, so I wouldn't have to go through that "well let's try this one" medication shuffle hell.

Another big thing is my anxiety. It's more or less crippling me socially. I can't interact with people being my sober self. And I know I can't get back on my meds for this, benzos were the worst thing that ever happened to me. It is literally impossible for me to take a benzo responsibly.

I have a vocational rehab appointment tomorrow right around the corner from my old mental health care provider. I think I'm going to stop in and see what happens.
 
I was just taking a look at the main page of this thread I started long ago and I am looking at Neurontin on the list of medications. Gabapentin (Neurontin) ended up giving me a personal experience I thought I should add to this thread in some detail.

I had/have been having problems with migrains (or what I still believe may be something else but that's besides the point) and I saw 2 different neurologists about the same issue. The second one, after suggestion, was open to prescribing me neurontin which is something I thought would go well with the other medication, inderol, he was offering me instead of imitrex I believe it was. I started on the neurontin and inderol and did notice slight effects positively but continued taking the medications as directed (both in low dosages).

Unfortunately I had to serve a probation violation in jail, where I was still administered the medications. I started running a lot to keep my mind clear, to balance the blood pressure from the head pain, and realized if I missed a morning dose of neurontin and ran I could feel the flat of my feet much more (neurontin blocks nerve endings, emotional trauma / scarring -> leads to the 2ndary use of gabapentin which is a mood stabilizer IMO). I stopped taking it then and kept running as much as possible and started enjoying knowing that I was balancing my own mood in a situation far worse than what was previous because well in jail, you don't have many options other than the ones that are literally available to everyone.

To make my point quickly - neurontin = bad in my book. Blocking emotional truama for a head pain / body pain is not worth it. It will just build up over time and if not realized in whatever you can trick yourself into thinking is a correct situation for a matter that should not be, you will dispose of such emotion onto those around you and overall create a negative experience for yourself in the long run (i.e. LIFE).

Eat right, stay hydrated, all to your 'in moderation' levels and you should see a great increase in neural activity. If anyone else has any like stories or is currently taking such medications please share, I'd love to hear them.

-dp
 
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