I dealt with a similar issue a few weeks ago. My mother, to put it plainly, is batshit. Her boyfriend (my father's been dead for years) told me she may talk a good talk about trying to improve herself, but for me not to hold my breath. I asked her to take an active role in my own treatment (hoping that she would get the help she needed as well) and refused. In the end, I got my shit together and moved on with my life, and she did not. A few weeks ago, she came to Florida to attend a friend's funeral and expected me to drop everything and drive the 300 miles roundtrip to Jacksonville. I refused. I no longer allow her to bring her chaos into my now, somewhat ordered life. I have a friend who rewrote a large portion of the first part of AA's Big Book and titled it "A Secular Sobriety," (it's available on Amazon) and I love this quote, "How others treat me is THEIR path."