Day 4 of Recovery - The Triggers Awaken.

[TheWriterGirl]

It's Day Four without anything in my system.

Kind of achey. Probably should do some yoga, but wish I could just take a pill to make it go away.

Pretty energetic. A little stressed. Big Christmas stuff ALL WEEK should keep my mind off meds. But in the quiet morning before anyone is awake -- this was always my favorite time to take a pill -- or, you know, like six pills.

You see, I have a very demanding job. I work from home as a writer and marketing specialist, but I'm on call constantly; and I have to run out to cover stories, manage events, get photos. At a moment's notice I could be called to go run a 12 hour event or appear on television. My phone buzzes all the time.

But at 5am, no one is awake yet. No one can call me to an event. I have a moment free of peace. I can take my pills and relax and read and watch shows in the quiet, still morning -- without any fear my phone will buzz and call me to a big event.

This morning I woke up, and there's nothing to do just yet. I'm a little achey, and my tummy is upset. The quiet morning beckons me to take my pills. But, fortunately, there are none to take.

It will be better this afternoon, when I'm surrounded by friends and Christmas cheer.

Sigh.

 

[Cryptic Chrome]

I can relate. I'm in day six but my trigger wasn't when I woke, I actually felt okay when waking (all but one symptom). My trigger came when I had a "very stressful thing" happen. That "thing" is took care of for now, but... It sent my psyche teeter-totter. Stress, being overwhelmed and major happenings trigger my desires.

How ya doing now? You push through ok?


C

 

[mrsnowygrainius]

Hi WriterGirl, hope you feeling better today.

Remember what I said about having a plan? Has the anhedonia hit you yet? Since you are nervous about going to meetings, you need to do something else like it

I used to hate going to meetings too I just can't connect to people well so what I did was started going to my friends church and through there I met a group of ok people who were nice to me and thats where I met my sponsor/ mentor. I don't like to call him my sponsor because he's way more than that to me. Someone that is way older than me and wiser, someone that has been through addiction and has caused so much damage but recovered form it, he has 14 years clean....

this is what you need to do... find your mentor. Im rooting for you. Just whatever you do don't use even once because then your brain gets reset in addiction. If your cravings/ depression get too bad to the point where you considering suicide... you must let us know.. because that would be when you possibly get on suboxone or methadone, but well cross that bridge if/ when we get there..

keep going you got this

 

[TheWriterGirl]

Cryptic - Congrats on day 6! Yes, stress is definitely a trigger for me. One financial struggle, unexpected bill, or extra stress at work sends me down the rabbit hole looking for my narcotic.

I'm doing okay now. Thank you. I worked up the energy to go out and enjoy my favorite holiday tradition, which is hearing my best friend sing at a local coffee shop. I had a lot of fun, and it was my first totally sober Christmas event in years! I hope you are also feeling better now.

 

[Cryptic Chrome]

Writer girl!!!! I'm so proud! You just made my morning
I've not even started Xmas anything yet. Not one tree. Not even a bow lol. But that's for other reasons maybe a lil detox thrown in.
I'm proud of ya hun!