• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: axe battler | xtcgrrrl | arrall

Dating someone 10 years younger = creep?

I

InfectedWithDrugs

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 29, 2015
Messages
126
I'm 29, but I look 20 (everyone in my family looks 10-15 years younger) and where I live there are many retired folks, yet almost nobody my age. There is a local college, where I volunteer, filled with 18-22 year old's and some have shown obvious interest in me, but I am not sure what to do about it... I am not really seeking anything serious because I plan on moving to a major city, but I don't know if I would be perceived as some weirdo-creep if I decided to out with someone who's 20 or so... Should I straight up and tell them my age or not bother with that?
 
Lying your age isn't the option really but I wouldn't bother about two consenting adults having a relationship no matter the age difference.

I am in a relationship with six years younger and we haven't given much notice for our age difference.
 
this problem sounds childish and judgemental.

why is this an issue in the first place? be honest and it should only be an issue if you both want different things
 
MrRoot said:
Lying your age isn't the option really but I wouldn't bother about two consenting adults having a relationship no matter the age difference.

I am in a relationship with six years younger and we haven't given much notice for our age difference.
Click to expand...

I don't lie about my age, but I don't know whether I should disclose it up front... Its just awkward = her: "Want to go somewhere tonight?", me: "OK, but I'm 29, probably 10 years old than you".
 
InfectedWithDrugs said:
I don't lie about my age, but I don't know whether I should disclose it up front... Its just awkward = her: "Want to go somewhere tonight?", me: "OK, but I'm 29, probably 10 years old than you".
Click to expand...

Age is just a number. That's cliche sounding, but I think it's all about maturity levels. Don't lie about your age or try to avoid it because that would be creepy. I would be very upfront about it. Personally I think there would be a big maturity gap, but that's dependent upon your own level of maturity as well as the other person's.
 
Sometimes there is be a double standard. If a man dates a woman who is much younger, he is a creep. If an older woman dates a younger man, she's a role model.

When I was 19 and saw 50 year old men dating 19 year old college girls, my thoughts were 'good for them. If I'm single when I'm 50, I hope I can date 19 year olds too.' I was actually friends with one of these old men. He was extremely immature so his 19 year old girl friend seemed more grown up than he was.

10 years is not a big deal. It is just on the borderline of being a 'generation gap' in terms of seeing the world differently.
 
InfectedWithDrugs said:
So I should disclose my age even if they are not asking for it?
Click to expand...

That's up to you. If you think this person is under the impression you guys are about the same age then yes I think I would. Not right away in response to an invitation to hang out, but casually bringing it up in conversation while you guys are spending time together would probably be a good idea.
 
If it just sex I wouldn't worry about it and If it a relationship then it will prob come up in conversation within the first few times you meet.
Ten years age gap not too bad, my gf is ten years older than me but as it starts to get younger there will become a point where it's just too young.
 
I don't know if it is my area but the groups young people now belong have become more diverse than it was when I grew up and it is socially accepted to not belong into any group.

When I was young there were grunge people, those who listened to hip hop and metal heads and maybe some punk guys but that was it. Now there are plenty of groups you can belong and even belong into multiple groups at once.

This might be a part of generation gap which was brought up before.

I don't want to hijack this thread but either don't want (yet) do a thread about how diverse youth culture is now.
 
Don't say it after you say one sentence to her lol. Just whenever it's comfortable.
Anyone that I hang out with.... age doesn't matter. I know a 40 year old dating a 25 year old. They've been together for two years.
 
this whole thread is weak.

if you like someone you like them if not you dont. same for them. if you both like each other get together
 
I mean if you are so worried about being the old creeper maybe that in itself is the answer....if it's meant to be I don't think you should have to question it so much, just my opinion
 
10 years is not much of an age spread. When I was in my 20s I had an ongoing affair with a woman in her 40s. She was actually a couple years older than my mom and had a son my age. It was just a sexual thing and she taught me stuff and I had the throbbing, energetic youth that she wanted on top of her. We had fun - and maybe part of it was the taboo of age difference.

As I got older I remember wondering when I would have a young person in a relationship. Well, it seems there are a lot of young men out there in search of a daddy and I have had a couple that were 30 years younger and the youngest was a spread of 40 years. (Dating a 20-year-old you have to remember that in the U.S. he can't have wine with dinner at a restaurant. - little things one forgets)

If two ppl are over the age of consent and enjoy each other there is nothing creepy about it - just natural.
 
Noodle said:
/seconded
Click to expand...
I think it's a fair question. It's an issue that comes up all the time in the West. Some people are shallow and judgmental about it. That attitude causes others who are in or who are considering a relationship to second-guess themselves. Worse, there's a kind of schizoid double standard for women. Older women are ridiculed for being "cougars" and at the same time congratulated for catching a young and virile man. Older men are also judged. I was even in such a situation when I was 22 and dating an 18 year old (college sophomore). People I knew were constantly saying "isn't she too young for you?" A year later I dated a 27 year old girl -- and the same people were saying she was too old for me.
 
It sucks to be in love with someone that's a lot younger than you for a lot of reasons. I'm going through it and am the older woman. A few months ago I ended things and tried to date other more age appropriate people and its just not him. I can't help it. I really tried to do the right thing and end things so we can both move onto more appropriate relationships. I have 3 kids which complicates things for us and he has a prior record and it would cause a ton of issues. I've come to realize that I would rather have him 50% of my time when I don't have my kids than have someone I don't love 100% of the time. But then what happens when he realizes he wants a family one day? No matter what it will end in heartbreak. It's really difficult because I really do love him. He is ahead of his time and and I am behind so age doesn't create an emotional gap. It's not even something we talk about other than complications it causes with the rest of the world. I don't know. We just started seeing eachother again this weekend and it was amazing to have him back. I missed him so much.
 
Some men do not mind women with existing kids, but they may want their own. Communication is the key. Lay out all your concerns in details and go over each and every one.

I'm 29 and it feels already too late for marriage, let alone kids with someone my age. What sucks more is that I look 20 and younger each new week as I keep getting fit (from 220lbs at 6ft to 183lbs in 4 months). Local high school girls hitting on me and all I can say to them is "I am 29 and I am not going to jail". I need facial scars or some sort or some special aging cream.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top