(Crystal Methamphetamine 1g) - somewhat experienced - Observations and Insights Part2
Disclaimer: I cannot say if this will be worthwile or useful, however it does include things i consider worth mentioning re meth and side effects. If anything let it be an unedited output of pure genius and power that is the tweaker mind, created while tweaked for maximum authenticity. I feel i should apologise other things as well, , hmm, Wait! how about no apology, Foff if you dont like it! Ok, sorry, i didnt mean that, im so fake, i couldnt even curse you without abbr, ffs.
Ok, rechecking this thing is not helping, it results in adding random shit in random places, like some sort of drawing that doesnt need logical structure and sense. I guess thats where tweaker come from? I will now stop and post.
Right, so this thread is a continuation of my last trip report to share the latest experiences, learning and insights. Sorry couldnt spell check, not in my very small list of shit i currently care about), but i hope to god my numbering is correct, it was the only way i could mentally tag random thoughts for access. At one point i was one 1 number and TWO letters. I have never done numbering that complex before, seriously. Usually just use bullets points... Fuck, i could have used bullet points, grrr.
So this is a trip report with focus on issues, fixes and groundbreaking discoveries.
Decided not to post this in other drugs as they are probably annoyed at my tweeked out posts by now.
To set the stage, i am a brave unassuming overweight middle aged businessman/pc nerd who shouldnt know what meth is but figure due to the reputation i had to try it, i dont like being told what is suredly going to happen, ill make that mistake for myself, thats what LEARNING is. Having grown up in an easy life, with friends otherwise, i know the value of self improvement via hardship, so ill take those where i can get them (porche or maserati, tough choices). Anyways done it over the years, never has issues, but stability plays a big part and using for REC only. Like you all i am in love with chemically altered states, dont tell me its not like any other hobby or rec activity, you have your golf days, i got this.
OK, i wacked some entertaining personal shit, i parroed out that somebody would see... Yes, if only anxiety was logical, it would become concern and then we could all tell big phara to fuck off.
So, im going to do this point form because i dont have any other choice.
-1. ADDED LATER: (im not changing every number below, frankly the inefficiency of it was a terrifying thought!) Unrelated EPIC Idea. How about a forum section where tweekers can post new discoveries, learnings, analysis, and other priceless knowlege that must be shared with the world? Im surprised there isnt random text blocks of genius littering the others sections for lack of a proper destination. I have like tons of stuff to get it started, dont just want to post it anywhere, it will get lost amoungst all the other mindless drivel. Implement This ASAP.
1. Last week i parsed and stored like every single meth and related side effect thread on this forum as well as the other one of which we do not speak. About 18 hours or meth focused SPEEDreading, NO LIES, meth-speedreading=sick fast. I can even rem alot of it. NOTE: I have been surprised that the great memory of things on meth. This means i am educated and you can trust anything i say as if i was your own doctor (dont do that! or maybe you should, can you trust your own doctor anyway? You know he raped you when he out you under that one time..)
2. The reason for this epic quest was annoyance at meth side effects particulaly that vascospawnofsatan bullshit as well as any other useless emotion besides I AM GOD. We will get to this in detial.
3. I realised recently with help from fellow tweakers here that 1g good crystal in 36 hours was very high doses. I now do like /4 that will similar results, so save some product yay, but run into naughty time (work days). Though i work from home and only about 4 hours per week and get paid well to boot... lol soz sidetracked
4. Had my first day binge last weekend using the much reduced dosages, was ok, except it did not reduce the side effects. I have many annoyed posts here already about meth and its confusing effects with dosages, the experience is contradictory to what you think less or more may feel like, as with the less dosages i had MORE side effects. so..
5. Learning 1: I saw from many posts on the forum that apparently lower dosages do have more side ffects. So, that wierdness was confirmed. However, what i realised with the insane dosages I originally doing is that the side effects are there and possibly even worse, BUT, your intense level of fuckingawesome renders them utterly irrelevenat and not worth even a 1 sec "hmmm, is my hand supposed to be black and withering, is my finger supposed to be spazzing out like a zombie mutant intent on breaking free from the confines of my hand, hmmmm... perhaps i should.....ooooohhhh, porn!"
Only on my 5th binge when i really orally dosed like 1/3g i had this moment if sober clarity where i realised, fuck, my body is not happy, seriously, and relised that all the other times i had these bad symptoms but didnt notice, the euphoria was to much, nothing mattered, scary and awesome. I miss those insane doses, no pain, no worry, no surroundings, just the awesomeness of whatever you are doing right now.
Anyways, this reminds me of your first line of any stim, its sucks, doesnt work, feels shit, r rekon this is cause they all need the good to catch up to the bad with more doses, then all is well, guessing the side effects are more presents even in lower doses.
6. Ok, another number, the wall is to big above. Now these big doses made me love meth due to ZERO anxiety, even without drinking, which i always had to do on other stims. Though now on normal doses the usual stim anxiety is there, but i guess its less anxiety and more general concern for anything whatsover, so guess thats good to have.
7.Warning, the side effects are not cool, when you do realise them, so the bigger doses are not worth it, inset HR disclaimer here.
7.5 QUESTION: What is the bad jaw clenching linked to, it always arrives with me annoying side effects only days after starting. Is it possibly seritonin related?
8. Now, this past low dose weekend, at exactly the same time, exactly 2 days in, i get hit with the exact same vascohellspawnbullshit, the timing was insane. This means its not dose dependent, its somehow linked to binge duration, body state at that time. Now naysayers, the value of this analysis if discovering a reason for the sudden increase of side effects at some point in the binge. Now what happens to me is like a big fat dose of noephedrine, when we where kids we used to buy ephedrine easy from pharmacies and eat it/sell it, it was fun for lack of knowing better (until a friend dosed and literally chased a poor paperboy down the road with a cricketbat for far longer then was funny. Bit of agro issues with this stuff. SO, i can identify that fucking trademark head tingle anytime, you will know what i mean if you ever ate this shit. And it hits fast, from zero symptoms to fucking numb body, stabbing pain in hands, hot cold. Now even on a high dose binge, this shit kills my high, im sure it comes with a health dose of disguised anxiety, but i end up obsessing over this with my meth brain saying that its not healthy when your hands arent getting bloods! And plus i can no longer use my hands, wtf do i do now.
This doses not come on slowly, it hits in 10 seconds
Anyways, if anybody knows what specifically is probably causing the sudden release, that would help.
I got dehydration, vitamin/mineral dificiency, no food that day... Now i know somebody is going to say its no food! But I would like to know in more detail! EG: No Food = Low blood sugar.
Just a note, i read that the vasco bullshit actually dilates your bigger chest arteries at the same time, so your heart is actually better off, apparently, for those omg my heart tweakers.
I actually dont stress about my heart, its wierd but when im high i cant feel it, beating or with my hands, i take that as a good sign for some reason. I use my beathing as sign of approaching doom, other senses are not to be trusted.
9. Ok this weekend, i was saved by kratom on friday, works like champ, but then my filter broke, so here i am agian. I have taken precations.
I ate a shitload of vitamins, i ate food, i drank orange juice, i rem magnesium, all i had was mag hydrochloride as an antacid and chloride as the same (im prob wrong on both but you get the idea) and ate alot of that shit. Mag is mag right, ate extra due to obsorbition
10. So far the results:
10a) I was able to take a shit during the binge, could never until after. Excellent!. It did not seem healthy but it was a start. It was a strange experience of calm patience, some gentle words of encouregemnt and eventually some verbal abuse to get it done. It was akin to giving birth to a small shy baby, feebily trying avoid be delivered into this cruel unforgiving world.
And it smelt like tuna fish, which i didnt eat anywhere near the time, wierd.
10b) This made me realise it was similar to the actions of other bodily functions on meth, they only work with relaxation, in contradiction to the meth brain. grrr, I will ensure you obey me, through sheer force of will! Its how nature continues to shit on us users. Same with taking a piss on meth. Dont get all angry, relax, perhaps encourage with a few gentle strokes, maybe an encouraging word about returning to normal size soon, works like a boss.
Then of course, the taming of the stim dick! It only works relaxed, try it stim dick afflicted, free yourself from from what ever else you did on stims, your world will be forever changed. I can see the logic though in this case, the usual muscle clenching agressive method would result in you probably having a heart attack or shitting yourself.
10c) Low doses really do have annoying side effects, especially that fucking chest sensation, always happens on stims, still dont know what it is, im guessing: Stomach, heart(hope not). Ive convinced myselfits a lesser continous version of that adrenaline sensasion when startled, sort of what if feels like? Enlighten me.
10d). Apparently dangerous, hyperthemia, and thats not being to cold, like i thought during last binge ffs, though i suvived. Anyways, you know when you get to that point in the binge when you are numb, shivering, sweating, have gooseflesh, have cold limbs and a hot head! Fucking confusing indeed. The wisdom here on the forums is not clear, pretty much says you should try to keep warm and cool, just in case. Yep toss that answer to a tweeked out binge zombie who is worring about his health. I feel, hot and cold, so i should keep warm and cool, either a recipe for some magnificent scheme to defy the laws of nature or an obsessive analysis loop to determine if either warmth or cold is more likely to seek your demise, and try find out which you are. I eventually figured i might be to warm, but then asked another human to touch, says im freezing. Christ, freezing! you dont know why but for the sake of sanity, xnay on any overexxagerations. Anyways, to sum things up, its overheating that is apparently the problem. Though with the conflicting symptoms at this point, it could mean anything.
10da) What this means though, is no more furious and long self abuse sessions that in result heavy sweating and bad beathlessness! (I have heard this can happen). The sweating probably means your overheating. You dont want to die and be found in that state, it could spread lies about the danger of masturbating and that wont do anybody any good, thought it may be a good way to go...
10e) But at the end of the day, the general consensus was that the hectic side effects, at least what i mentioned, are normal and fine and there is no need to worry. This is why i kept searching, to find the answer i wanted, that i was about to die and my lims would fall off, after i die, so not as worrying. Alas.
Anyways, truthfully, advice was to ignore and go on, so that i did, banged some more meth, killed a half wiskey (for the dilation effects) and ate a shit ton of caeynne pepper, sadly. Im still convinved thats a myth spead on this forum and the rest of the web by some sneaky fuker just to fuk with us tweakers. The worst possible food source, i must eat fucking teargass to save my life? Is this where i realise im a lowly tweaker and its not even worth trying to save it? Why god why! Ill find you sneaky pepper guy, your probably well on way your renforcing your best scam yet, convinving weed smokers that an evil mix of anxiety, fatige, confusion and other evil things is fun and enjoyable. Well as long as its from nature i guess its fine. I guess its the same as me enjoying ephedrine til i new better. Oh, just goto say thank fuck we didnt know at the time the true value of the KG's of ephedrine we where bying at the time, in sacks, for so cheap, would not have ended well.
QUESTION: On day 3 after drinking and doing more meth, i rem feeling great and then suddenly waking up a few hours later. Sleep? Never on meth or even the booze i had. Did i pass out for non sleep related reasons or sieze or some shit? I mean i need antipsychotics to get to sleep normally, i also woke up out of breath? Did i die, is this all a dream in which i continue living life as normal. If so, would it then really matter. What about when i die in the dream, will i continue living life as normal? I would then be old and eventually have no quality of life, it would be eternity of old age and torment. Ok so yes it would matter, i hope i didnt die and this is not a dream, unless i can fly and pick new bodies upon death? Hmm, confirm reality, test ability to fly.
,
10f) Anyways, nay to the weed hating, naughty meth, we all have our faults after all.
Back to, not sure what i was going on about.
Err. Ok, low doses, benefits. Your manly bits will last a bit longer. Im not sure if this is due to less vasco more bloodo or less physical abuse and wigg out sessions where you zone out and come to hours latter soaking, overheating, cant breath, chest full of shit, pain everywhere, lube everywhere, strange images on your pc, you hope where accidental and a laptop you have somehow torn the screen from the base, off the hinges, high dose danger.
10g) Good things about high doses.
10ga) Audio awesoness. Hearing things, not trusting them, keeps you on your toes. Its fun trying to see if you guess right if its real or not. Advice. Its NEVER real. Example:
Earlier, like last time, my frige was moaning in a tormented fashion, like a dying suffering cat that knows hell is a few minutes away. I even made sure the cats werent stuck in there, mother insisted there way NO sound. Now WTF. A distorted sound fine, but not no sound while im hearing it right now.Anyways, naughty, forgot, do not engage!
10gb) That other awesome guy, in your mind, you knows hes there and you are in this together. Usually results in some interesting internal dialog, usually comments and exclamations of success at having achieved something or other like taking a piss or identifying a.. i got nothing. Err this sorta feels like its easier to talk to yourself somehow because it feels like somebody is listening. Oh fuck, i better not freak out about bugs in my brain next time
10gc) Distorted understandings of wtf is going on around you, conspiracy type thoughts, assumptions about social stuff, are X and P fighting, where is T, kidnapped? These are interesting, fun to figure if true or not. WARNING: Do not interact, do not voice anything, do not get caught in dialoge, if asked for some sort of advice, FLEE, for their sake, the world is not ready for our advanced problem solving. EG, H may cough, your mind thinks, it was like a retort, verbal grunt in regards to something you said. These are tough, the logic seems so real, its not that you cant realise it wasnt intended at you, its that you need some sort of reason for it in the first place, key is realising it doesnt have a reason, ignore it. I once thought my mother has been upducted by robbers, in retrospect simply because i did not see her at that point in time. Ignore that shit yo. Though, to be clear, these are still way within ok, normal and identifyable thus entertaining, not psychosis. At this point its sorta like you got your full sanity in a safe box, but can witness and enjoy some mental craziness thats happening outside your safe zone. I think this means that you still have full reasoning
10gd) Sorta personal, but it gives a nice bout of "bring it on motherfucker" to any fears, like ptsd issues. I have home invasion issue due to incident + fucked mdma brain. Nice to sit outside in the middle of the night praying those fuckers come tonight. Nice occasional fuck you to life impacting issues, but this same attitude is danger, i would not go anywhere with this attitude, solo ftw.
10ge) Ahh yes. The girls, in the pron! No guys cmon. When you on a good dose, its like them girls are looking right at you, like they know you are there, and they are performing just for you. What sorta lends realism at that point is the visual wierdness at that point always makes any images of people look like hey ar blinking. Its pretty sweet. Just dont get self concious, or engage in conversation, and dont accidently look at any family photos, pets etc. You cant un see that longing look in the eyes of family, it will scar your very soul, unless you are into that type of thing. AHh, which reminds me!
10gf) Stay away from your sister, evil starts wispering to you (insised in sharing my bed, no other, mid session, dick in hand, sweat on brow, anyways got her the fuck out just in time, sickingly i know with certanty i would have tried, scariest though ever on meth, once again i will only SOLO this shit, reduced inhibitions to this point is fucked. This also means stay way from any attractive, or unattractive family members, friends, pets, pretty much anybody.
10gg) Not tried, but attempting sex with a sober non tweaker? I guess with the right situation, but i rekon it would be a terrifying experience for that person, thats like possible legal issues, talking high doses now mostly. What if you zone out, even a short while, 2- hours?
10gh) Question: Does the sex, horny, sensetivity and modification to the process of reaching orgasm happen to ladies as well?
11) Overall annoying things:
a) Difficulty changing current focus, like get up and get juice, takes a mental struggle to redirect focus.
b) I have not looked into this yet but i think my voice is wierd during, it seems people have difficulty hearing me. WTF is this, am i sluring? I do notice a cough though.
c) Talking takes time, slow and considered with pauses, this wierds me out, im sure this shit is called speed ffs, no probs on coke. Though i guess im filtering output on the fly to avoid any weird shit.
d) Random habit, i am usally impatient with the chopping, dosing etc, other peeps in the house, so i always end up with lots of flakes and crumbs, but I usually just brush these off the table, prob quite alot actually. Probably like tons in my carpet right now. If you want you can come and search? Anyways, this is prob due to no comedown so no crumb desperation. Which reminds me, you guys still braving the comedowns, I must ask why oh my poor friend? Whats the point of getting high if your just gonna feel shit after? Skip that shit, get y0 some suzzie Q's from your friendly neighborhood doctor. Get with the times people seriously. All the unnecessarily suffering in the world, makes me sick. No, masking shit with benzos not = kill the drug from brain, its just more drugs taxing the system and your body still has to deal with a comedown, which sounds unhealthy to be honest. Anyways, dont feel bad falling behind the times, at least your not a weed smoker, they actually initiate the feelings of a comedown on purpose, by smoking weed. Scary crowd those, avoid, cut your throat in an instant for their next fix. Though at least on meth you can outrun them and seek the nearest police officer for assistance, god bless their selfless service and neverending pursuit for justice.
e) Hell this one, Music Appreciation on meth they said. Well, initally i didnt notice anything, it didnt sound better like other drugs, lame i said. In fact usually it on in the background but gets annoying on meth.
Anyways, there is a related effect aftr all, but its more like evil Musical Brainwashing
What actually happens with music, if you are not to distracted, its a bit louder and you are between activities, is that your brain, in dire need of stimulus, will focus on the song playing at the time, for me it was the radio, and what happens is you end up hearing and listening to the words. This is a bit wierd, like that usual block on ensuring you hear and memorise all the words is turned off and now you cant help but hear and remember the words, its sorta cool, like your brain has improved its ability to process and make useful normally ambient sounds.
Anyways, when you start hearing the words, you notice cause this is not normal, and then listen to the words. God and then, you start wondering about the words, what the writer meant, how poetic they are, or how you sympathise with the dood for whatever bullshit plight he is wining about in his song, you end up understanding the song. Anyways, you do end up appreciating the song on a whole new level plus you now have an emotion attached to it. Very interesting overall effect, not expected on meth, but instantly understood as this makes sense toward the analytical and data/environment processing nature of meth.
BUT, this shit can happen with any fucking song, even one you hate, i now like songs i hated (had the damn radio on) because i understand them now. Its fucking sneaky. I know i hate a song, yet my brain says i like it. Its mental devilry, imprinting my brain with unwanted likes. However this emotional linkage as a result from gaining an understanding of something is interesting no, this must be some sort of breakthrough concept.
Im thinking offhand, there is this girl you like, now instead of the usual rape and run meth tactic, you could record information about yourself, have some musical shit flung in with it and then all you need to do is dose her with meth and make her listen to the song. Boom, understanding and instant like, fuck nlp, this is true power. Limitless possibilities for total human domination. Ohh, sneaking a song into some big concert event, and dosing the drink supply. Instant ARMY!
As i said got more epic ideas like this, so get that meth forum section going, restricted access though, cant have sneaky government types stealing our shit. On second thought, no member restrictions, we cant have some digital record of members just floating about,
Anyways, im gonna try some Kratom now, see what its like with meth, tho its already night 2 so dunno if it will be so great. Prob gonna hit a big dose and fuck out for a bit. Getting annoyed at my current level of sanity and normal thinking, cares and concerns and other useless emotions are harshing my mellow. Give me RAW Fearless Unwavering Indestructible Focus of a high dose anytime. But dont do it, it bad mkay, plus, you use way more product and we all know how you tweakers feel about wasting? Did you know you piss out mostly unaltered meth!? Such waste! worse then those crumbs. You could consume your urine and remain high forever! Consider it my friend, nobody likes a wasteful tweaker. Now Go, godhood awaits.
Disclaimer: I cannot say if this will be worthwile or useful, however it does include things i consider worth mentioning re meth and side effects. If anything let it be an unedited output of pure genius and power that is the tweaker mind, created while tweaked for maximum authenticity. I feel i should apologise other things as well, , hmm, Wait! how about no apology, Foff if you dont like it! Ok, sorry, i didnt mean that, im so fake, i couldnt even curse you without abbr, ffs.
Ok, rechecking this thing is not helping, it results in adding random shit in random places, like some sort of drawing that doesnt need logical structure and sense. I guess thats where tweaker come from? I will now stop and post.
Right, so this thread is a continuation of my last trip report to share the latest experiences, learning and insights. Sorry couldnt spell check, not in my very small list of shit i currently care about), but i hope to god my numbering is correct, it was the only way i could mentally tag random thoughts for access. At one point i was one 1 number and TWO letters. I have never done numbering that complex before, seriously. Usually just use bullets points... Fuck, i could have used bullet points, grrr.
So this is a trip report with focus on issues, fixes and groundbreaking discoveries.
Decided not to post this in other drugs as they are probably annoyed at my tweeked out posts by now.
To set the stage, i am a brave unassuming overweight middle aged businessman/pc nerd who shouldnt know what meth is but figure due to the reputation i had to try it, i dont like being told what is suredly going to happen, ill make that mistake for myself, thats what LEARNING is. Having grown up in an easy life, with friends otherwise, i know the value of self improvement via hardship, so ill take those where i can get them (porche or maserati, tough choices). Anyways done it over the years, never has issues, but stability plays a big part and using for REC only. Like you all i am in love with chemically altered states, dont tell me its not like any other hobby or rec activity, you have your golf days, i got this.
OK, i wacked some entertaining personal shit, i parroed out that somebody would see... Yes, if only anxiety was logical, it would become concern and then we could all tell big phara to fuck off.
So, im going to do this point form because i dont have any other choice.
-1. ADDED LATER: (im not changing every number below, frankly the inefficiency of it was a terrifying thought!) Unrelated EPIC Idea. How about a forum section where tweekers can post new discoveries, learnings, analysis, and other priceless knowlege that must be shared with the world? Im surprised there isnt random text blocks of genius littering the others sections for lack of a proper destination. I have like tons of stuff to get it started, dont just want to post it anywhere, it will get lost amoungst all the other mindless drivel. Implement This ASAP.
1. Last week i parsed and stored like every single meth and related side effect thread on this forum as well as the other one of which we do not speak. About 18 hours or meth focused SPEEDreading, NO LIES, meth-speedreading=sick fast. I can even rem alot of it. NOTE: I have been surprised that the great memory of things on meth. This means i am educated and you can trust anything i say as if i was your own doctor (dont do that! or maybe you should, can you trust your own doctor anyway? You know he raped you when he out you under that one time..)
2. The reason for this epic quest was annoyance at meth side effects particulaly that vascospawnofsatan bullshit as well as any other useless emotion besides I AM GOD. We will get to this in detial.
3. I realised recently with help from fellow tweakers here that 1g good crystal in 36 hours was very high doses. I now do like /4 that will similar results, so save some product yay, but run into naughty time (work days). Though i work from home and only about 4 hours per week and get paid well to boot... lol soz sidetracked
4. Had my first day binge last weekend using the much reduced dosages, was ok, except it did not reduce the side effects. I have many annoyed posts here already about meth and its confusing effects with dosages, the experience is contradictory to what you think less or more may feel like, as with the less dosages i had MORE side effects. so..
5. Learning 1: I saw from many posts on the forum that apparently lower dosages do have more side ffects. So, that wierdness was confirmed. However, what i realised with the insane dosages I originally doing is that the side effects are there and possibly even worse, BUT, your intense level of fuckingawesome renders them utterly irrelevenat and not worth even a 1 sec "hmmm, is my hand supposed to be black and withering, is my finger supposed to be spazzing out like a zombie mutant intent on breaking free from the confines of my hand, hmmmm... perhaps i should.....ooooohhhh, porn!"
Only on my 5th binge when i really orally dosed like 1/3g i had this moment if sober clarity where i realised, fuck, my body is not happy, seriously, and relised that all the other times i had these bad symptoms but didnt notice, the euphoria was to much, nothing mattered, scary and awesome. I miss those insane doses, no pain, no worry, no surroundings, just the awesomeness of whatever you are doing right now.
Anyways, this reminds me of your first line of any stim, its sucks, doesnt work, feels shit, r rekon this is cause they all need the good to catch up to the bad with more doses, then all is well, guessing the side effects are more presents even in lower doses.
6. Ok, another number, the wall is to big above. Now these big doses made me love meth due to ZERO anxiety, even without drinking, which i always had to do on other stims. Though now on normal doses the usual stim anxiety is there, but i guess its less anxiety and more general concern for anything whatsover, so guess thats good to have.
7.Warning, the side effects are not cool, when you do realise them, so the bigger doses are not worth it, inset HR disclaimer here.
7.5 QUESTION: What is the bad jaw clenching linked to, it always arrives with me annoying side effects only days after starting. Is it possibly seritonin related?
8. Now, this past low dose weekend, at exactly the same time, exactly 2 days in, i get hit with the exact same vascohellspawnbullshit, the timing was insane. This means its not dose dependent, its somehow linked to binge duration, body state at that time. Now naysayers, the value of this analysis if discovering a reason for the sudden increase of side effects at some point in the binge. Now what happens to me is like a big fat dose of noephedrine, when we where kids we used to buy ephedrine easy from pharmacies and eat it/sell it, it was fun for lack of knowing better (until a friend dosed and literally chased a poor paperboy down the road with a cricketbat for far longer then was funny. Bit of agro issues with this stuff. SO, i can identify that fucking trademark head tingle anytime, you will know what i mean if you ever ate this shit. And it hits fast, from zero symptoms to fucking numb body, stabbing pain in hands, hot cold. Now even on a high dose binge, this shit kills my high, im sure it comes with a health dose of disguised anxiety, but i end up obsessing over this with my meth brain saying that its not healthy when your hands arent getting bloods! And plus i can no longer use my hands, wtf do i do now.
This doses not come on slowly, it hits in 10 seconds
Anyways, if anybody knows what specifically is probably causing the sudden release, that would help.
I got dehydration, vitamin/mineral dificiency, no food that day... Now i know somebody is going to say its no food! But I would like to know in more detail! EG: No Food = Low blood sugar.
Just a note, i read that the vasco bullshit actually dilates your bigger chest arteries at the same time, so your heart is actually better off, apparently, for those omg my heart tweakers.
I actually dont stress about my heart, its wierd but when im high i cant feel it, beating or with my hands, i take that as a good sign for some reason. I use my beathing as sign of approaching doom, other senses are not to be trusted.
9. Ok this weekend, i was saved by kratom on friday, works like champ, but then my filter broke, so here i am agian. I have taken precations.
I ate a shitload of vitamins, i ate food, i drank orange juice, i rem magnesium, all i had was mag hydrochloride as an antacid and chloride as the same (im prob wrong on both but you get the idea) and ate alot of that shit. Mag is mag right, ate extra due to obsorbition
10. So far the results:
10a) I was able to take a shit during the binge, could never until after. Excellent!. It did not seem healthy but it was a start. It was a strange experience of calm patience, some gentle words of encouregemnt and eventually some verbal abuse to get it done. It was akin to giving birth to a small shy baby, feebily trying avoid be delivered into this cruel unforgiving world.
And it smelt like tuna fish, which i didnt eat anywhere near the time, wierd.
10b) This made me realise it was similar to the actions of other bodily functions on meth, they only work with relaxation, in contradiction to the meth brain. grrr, I will ensure you obey me, through sheer force of will! Its how nature continues to shit on us users. Same with taking a piss on meth. Dont get all angry, relax, perhaps encourage with a few gentle strokes, maybe an encouraging word about returning to normal size soon, works like a boss.
Then of course, the taming of the stim dick! It only works relaxed, try it stim dick afflicted, free yourself from from what ever else you did on stims, your world will be forever changed. I can see the logic though in this case, the usual muscle clenching agressive method would result in you probably having a heart attack or shitting yourself.
10c) Low doses really do have annoying side effects, especially that fucking chest sensation, always happens on stims, still dont know what it is, im guessing: Stomach, heart(hope not). Ive convinced myselfits a lesser continous version of that adrenaline sensasion when startled, sort of what if feels like? Enlighten me.
10d). Apparently dangerous, hyperthemia, and thats not being to cold, like i thought during last binge ffs, though i suvived. Anyways, you know when you get to that point in the binge when you are numb, shivering, sweating, have gooseflesh, have cold limbs and a hot head! Fucking confusing indeed. The wisdom here on the forums is not clear, pretty much says you should try to keep warm and cool, just in case. Yep toss that answer to a tweeked out binge zombie who is worring about his health. I feel, hot and cold, so i should keep warm and cool, either a recipe for some magnificent scheme to defy the laws of nature or an obsessive analysis loop to determine if either warmth or cold is more likely to seek your demise, and try find out which you are. I eventually figured i might be to warm, but then asked another human to touch, says im freezing. Christ, freezing! you dont know why but for the sake of sanity, xnay on any overexxagerations. Anyways, to sum things up, its overheating that is apparently the problem. Though with the conflicting symptoms at this point, it could mean anything.
10da) What this means though, is no more furious and long self abuse sessions that in result heavy sweating and bad beathlessness! (I have heard this can happen). The sweating probably means your overheating. You dont want to die and be found in that state, it could spread lies about the danger of masturbating and that wont do anybody any good, thought it may be a good way to go...
10e) But at the end of the day, the general consensus was that the hectic side effects, at least what i mentioned, are normal and fine and there is no need to worry. This is why i kept searching, to find the answer i wanted, that i was about to die and my lims would fall off, after i die, so not as worrying. Alas.
Anyways, truthfully, advice was to ignore and go on, so that i did, banged some more meth, killed a half wiskey (for the dilation effects) and ate a shit ton of caeynne pepper, sadly. Im still convinved thats a myth spead on this forum and the rest of the web by some sneaky fuker just to fuk with us tweakers. The worst possible food source, i must eat fucking teargass to save my life? Is this where i realise im a lowly tweaker and its not even worth trying to save it? Why god why! Ill find you sneaky pepper guy, your probably well on way your renforcing your best scam yet, convinving weed smokers that an evil mix of anxiety, fatige, confusion and other evil things is fun and enjoyable. Well as long as its from nature i guess its fine. I guess its the same as me enjoying ephedrine til i new better. Oh, just goto say thank fuck we didnt know at the time the true value of the KG's of ephedrine we where bying at the time, in sacks, for so cheap, would not have ended well.
QUESTION: On day 3 after drinking and doing more meth, i rem feeling great and then suddenly waking up a few hours later. Sleep? Never on meth or even the booze i had. Did i pass out for non sleep related reasons or sieze or some shit? I mean i need antipsychotics to get to sleep normally, i also woke up out of breath? Did i die, is this all a dream in which i continue living life as normal. If so, would it then really matter. What about when i die in the dream, will i continue living life as normal? I would then be old and eventually have no quality of life, it would be eternity of old age and torment. Ok so yes it would matter, i hope i didnt die and this is not a dream, unless i can fly and pick new bodies upon death? Hmm, confirm reality, test ability to fly.
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10f) Anyways, nay to the weed hating, naughty meth, we all have our faults after all.
Back to, not sure what i was going on about.
Err. Ok, low doses, benefits. Your manly bits will last a bit longer. Im not sure if this is due to less vasco more bloodo or less physical abuse and wigg out sessions where you zone out and come to hours latter soaking, overheating, cant breath, chest full of shit, pain everywhere, lube everywhere, strange images on your pc, you hope where accidental and a laptop you have somehow torn the screen from the base, off the hinges, high dose danger.
10g) Good things about high doses.
10ga) Audio awesoness. Hearing things, not trusting them, keeps you on your toes. Its fun trying to see if you guess right if its real or not. Advice. Its NEVER real. Example:
Earlier, like last time, my frige was moaning in a tormented fashion, like a dying suffering cat that knows hell is a few minutes away. I even made sure the cats werent stuck in there, mother insisted there way NO sound. Now WTF. A distorted sound fine, but not no sound while im hearing it right now.Anyways, naughty, forgot, do not engage!
10gb) That other awesome guy, in your mind, you knows hes there and you are in this together. Usually results in some interesting internal dialog, usually comments and exclamations of success at having achieved something or other like taking a piss or identifying a.. i got nothing. Err this sorta feels like its easier to talk to yourself somehow because it feels like somebody is listening. Oh fuck, i better not freak out about bugs in my brain next time
10gc) Distorted understandings of wtf is going on around you, conspiracy type thoughts, assumptions about social stuff, are X and P fighting, where is T, kidnapped? These are interesting, fun to figure if true or not. WARNING: Do not interact, do not voice anything, do not get caught in dialoge, if asked for some sort of advice, FLEE, for their sake, the world is not ready for our advanced problem solving. EG, H may cough, your mind thinks, it was like a retort, verbal grunt in regards to something you said. These are tough, the logic seems so real, its not that you cant realise it wasnt intended at you, its that you need some sort of reason for it in the first place, key is realising it doesnt have a reason, ignore it. I once thought my mother has been upducted by robbers, in retrospect simply because i did not see her at that point in time. Ignore that shit yo. Though, to be clear, these are still way within ok, normal and identifyable thus entertaining, not psychosis. At this point its sorta like you got your full sanity in a safe box, but can witness and enjoy some mental craziness thats happening outside your safe zone. I think this means that you still have full reasoning
10gd) Sorta personal, but it gives a nice bout of "bring it on motherfucker" to any fears, like ptsd issues. I have home invasion issue due to incident + fucked mdma brain. Nice to sit outside in the middle of the night praying those fuckers come tonight. Nice occasional fuck you to life impacting issues, but this same attitude is danger, i would not go anywhere with this attitude, solo ftw.
10ge) Ahh yes. The girls, in the pron! No guys cmon. When you on a good dose, its like them girls are looking right at you, like they know you are there, and they are performing just for you. What sorta lends realism at that point is the visual wierdness at that point always makes any images of people look like hey ar blinking. Its pretty sweet. Just dont get self concious, or engage in conversation, and dont accidently look at any family photos, pets etc. You cant un see that longing look in the eyes of family, it will scar your very soul, unless you are into that type of thing. AHh, which reminds me!
10gf) Stay away from your sister, evil starts wispering to you (insised in sharing my bed, no other, mid session, dick in hand, sweat on brow, anyways got her the fuck out just in time, sickingly i know with certanty i would have tried, scariest though ever on meth, once again i will only SOLO this shit, reduced inhibitions to this point is fucked. This also means stay way from any attractive, or unattractive family members, friends, pets, pretty much anybody.
10gg) Not tried, but attempting sex with a sober non tweaker? I guess with the right situation, but i rekon it would be a terrifying experience for that person, thats like possible legal issues, talking high doses now mostly. What if you zone out, even a short while, 2- hours?
10gh) Question: Does the sex, horny, sensetivity and modification to the process of reaching orgasm happen to ladies as well?
11) Overall annoying things:
a) Difficulty changing current focus, like get up and get juice, takes a mental struggle to redirect focus.
b) I have not looked into this yet but i think my voice is wierd during, it seems people have difficulty hearing me. WTF is this, am i sluring? I do notice a cough though.
c) Talking takes time, slow and considered with pauses, this wierds me out, im sure this shit is called speed ffs, no probs on coke. Though i guess im filtering output on the fly to avoid any weird shit.
d) Random habit, i am usally impatient with the chopping, dosing etc, other peeps in the house, so i always end up with lots of flakes and crumbs, but I usually just brush these off the table, prob quite alot actually. Probably like tons in my carpet right now. If you want you can come and search? Anyways, this is prob due to no comedown so no crumb desperation. Which reminds me, you guys still braving the comedowns, I must ask why oh my poor friend? Whats the point of getting high if your just gonna feel shit after? Skip that shit, get y0 some suzzie Q's from your friendly neighborhood doctor. Get with the times people seriously. All the unnecessarily suffering in the world, makes me sick. No, masking shit with benzos not = kill the drug from brain, its just more drugs taxing the system and your body still has to deal with a comedown, which sounds unhealthy to be honest. Anyways, dont feel bad falling behind the times, at least your not a weed smoker, they actually initiate the feelings of a comedown on purpose, by smoking weed. Scary crowd those, avoid, cut your throat in an instant for their next fix. Though at least on meth you can outrun them and seek the nearest police officer for assistance, god bless their selfless service and neverending pursuit for justice.
e) Hell this one, Music Appreciation on meth they said. Well, initally i didnt notice anything, it didnt sound better like other drugs, lame i said. In fact usually it on in the background but gets annoying on meth.
Anyways, there is a related effect aftr all, but its more like evil Musical Brainwashing
What actually happens with music, if you are not to distracted, its a bit louder and you are between activities, is that your brain, in dire need of stimulus, will focus on the song playing at the time, for me it was the radio, and what happens is you end up hearing and listening to the words. This is a bit wierd, like that usual block on ensuring you hear and memorise all the words is turned off and now you cant help but hear and remember the words, its sorta cool, like your brain has improved its ability to process and make useful normally ambient sounds.
Anyways, when you start hearing the words, you notice cause this is not normal, and then listen to the words. God and then, you start wondering about the words, what the writer meant, how poetic they are, or how you sympathise with the dood for whatever bullshit plight he is wining about in his song, you end up understanding the song. Anyways, you do end up appreciating the song on a whole new level plus you now have an emotion attached to it. Very interesting overall effect, not expected on meth, but instantly understood as this makes sense toward the analytical and data/environment processing nature of meth.
BUT, this shit can happen with any fucking song, even one you hate, i now like songs i hated (had the damn radio on) because i understand them now. Its fucking sneaky. I know i hate a song, yet my brain says i like it. Its mental devilry, imprinting my brain with unwanted likes. However this emotional linkage as a result from gaining an understanding of something is interesting no, this must be some sort of breakthrough concept.
Im thinking offhand, there is this girl you like, now instead of the usual rape and run meth tactic, you could record information about yourself, have some musical shit flung in with it and then all you need to do is dose her with meth and make her listen to the song. Boom, understanding and instant like, fuck nlp, this is true power. Limitless possibilities for total human domination. Ohh, sneaking a song into some big concert event, and dosing the drink supply. Instant ARMY!
As i said got more epic ideas like this, so get that meth forum section going, restricted access though, cant have sneaky government types stealing our shit. On second thought, no member restrictions, we cant have some digital record of members just floating about,
Anyways, im gonna try some Kratom now, see what its like with meth, tho its already night 2 so dunno if it will be so great. Prob gonna hit a big dose and fuck out for a bit. Getting annoyed at my current level of sanity and normal thinking, cares and concerns and other useless emotions are harshing my mellow. Give me RAW Fearless Unwavering Indestructible Focus of a high dose anytime. But dont do it, it bad mkay, plus, you use way more product and we all know how you tweakers feel about wasting? Did you know you piss out mostly unaltered meth!? Such waste! worse then those crumbs. You could consume your urine and remain high forever! Consider it my friend, nobody likes a wasteful tweaker. Now Go, godhood awaits.
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