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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

Cravings for past drugs

Inso

Inso

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 19, 2007
Messages
3,048
Hello all,

I've not touched cocaine in 7 years but lately cannot stop thinking about it. I stopped due to having some rather bad experiences and also that I was on the verge of developing a full blown addiction.

At the moment I have just got myself fully back to fitness after a previous long illness so am in good shape. I have a severe headache disorder which I take an SNRI drug for (Duloxetine/Cymbalta) along with an anticonvulsant drug (Lamotrigine), both at very high doses. Even though I know the potential dangers of mixing SNRI and cocaine I am on the verge of convincing myself to get a gram or two and try it.

I know this is my former self-destructive personality trying to make itself heard, having been suppressed for many years. It has awoken and is hungry. Rationally it is a terrible idea to do cocaine (MDMA) but part of me says fuck it let's feel that amazing feeling again. I'm pretty sure I have the addict gene.

What drugs do you guys remember like a past love?
 
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Mephedrone, O-dt, GBL....I could go on. GBL is the most recent one too, so I'm missing it like crazy and it's only been a few weeks. It does feel like loosing someone close, or like they've just visited and now left and you know you wont see them again for years.

I stopped meph post ban as the quality of post ban stuff was dire ime, everyone just flogging 4mec as 4mmc. I was addicted to various opis for a few years, so have to think very carefully before i ever consider ordering anything like that again.

And GBL which I loved I had to stop as my usage had become far too regular and I could feel myself beginning to develop proper cravings for it. I left it too late to escape the WD syndrome/hangover following use though. And man am i making a fuck up of the taper with the gbl replacement gabba b substances pregabalin and baclofen which can be used to ween off GBL.

I ended up using those things inbetween gbl sessions, so have had my gabba b receptors permanently saturated for way longer than was intended. I've had to force myself to cut down massively these past few days, as i know that the longer you leave these habits to grow the worse they are to quit. Been able to reduce my Pregabalin down to one bedtime dose, and that is half the original dose and is getting reduced further every night, and am halving my baclofen use too. No major issues, just that it used to be so easy to sleep with tons of preg, and now with that constantly reducing it isnt, for the moment at least.8(

I guess I've had a lucky escape, in that i recognised the danger signs with GBL, however I should never have let things get as far as they did. That way I would have been able to continue to enjoy occasional casual use. I probably will be tempted back on what will have to be small orders on rare occassions.
 
mydrugbuddy said:
Mephedrone, O-dt, GBL....I could go on. GBL is the most recent one too, so I'm missing it like crazy and it's only been a few weeks. It does feel like loosing someone close, or like they've just visited and now left and you know you wont see them again for years.

I stopped meph post ban as the quality of post ban stuff was dire ime, everyone just flogging 4mec as 4mmc. I was addicted to various opis for a few years, so have to think very carefully before i ever consider ordering anything like that again.

And GBL which I loved I had to stop as my usage had become far too regular and I could feel myself beginning to develop proper cravings for it. I left it too late to escape the WD syndrome/hangover following use though. And man am i making a fuck up of the taper with the gbl replacement gabba b substances pregabalin and baclofen which can be used to ween off GBL.

I ended up using those things inbetween gbl sessions, so have had my gabba b receptors permanently saturated for way longer than was intended. I've had to force myself to cut down massively these past few days, as i know that the longer you leave these habits to grow the worse they are to quit. Been able to reduce my Pregabalin down to one bedtime dose, and that is half the original dose and is getting reduced further every night, and am halving my baclofen use too. No major issues, just that it used to be so easy to sleep with tons of preg, and now with that constantly reducing it isnt, for the moment at least.8(

I guess I've had a lucky escape, in that i recognised the danger signs with GBL, however I should never have let things get as far as they did. That way I would have been able to continue to enjoy occasional casual use. I probably will be tempted back on what will have to be small orders on rare occassions.
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Nice post.

It's unfortunate who many of us are unable to keep any drug to casual use.

Even caffeine for fucks sake I use more and more, grow tolerance, often binge on...same old story

I think certain people have a brain that is wired up to receive drugs, consequently they feel far more of a pull to any mind altering substance.
 
I have an awful addictive personality too. I really miss 3fpm sometimes. I am quite glad I can't get it anymore because I know I would want to use it again for the silliest of reasons like losing a tonne of weight like a numpty. Plus it made me play the guitar like a pro for a brief time :p
 
That's one benefit ladylove, increasing your guitar skills hehe

Why is feeling that intense, artificially happy, alternate state of mind so important to me? Other people can take or leave drugs. Why not me?
 
Because it's so easy to feel better (in the short term at least) and have all your cares and worries float away within seconds if its a drug you vape/smoke or snort, or you might have to wait 30 minutes or more if its a liquid or pill. :\
 
mydrugbuddy said:
Because it's so easy to feel better (in the short term at least) and have all your cares and worries float away within seconds if its a drug you vape/smoke or snort, or you might have to wait 30 minutes or more if its a liquid or pill. :\
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Would I have been better off never knowing the feeling of hard drugs? I don't know. Part of me feels like the unbelievable feeling of high dose MDMA/coke is something every person should experience. But now I know that is out there, in dark times I know the ability to kill off bad feelings is readily available.
 
MXE or ephenidine (I know the latter wasn't popular on here, but it was awesome). Seriously miss those two, if there was decent dissociatives around I'd probably rarely bother with any other drugs other than them and weed. Ket is nice but it just doesn't compare. Not even that close really, imo.
 
Methoxetamine also.

I'm sorry that I keep harping on about it, but it really was a very reliable ambrosia.
 
There is quite a bit of evidence that mushrooms are very effective for cluster headaches.
 
I thought it was LSD? Although they probably both work on 5HT2a so not too dissimilar.

Drug cravings come and go depending on my current stress levels - my general outlook - how much I've avoided my feelings lately - the desire to get high is pretty fundamentally human so don't ever expect the cravings to go away completely. It's a normal function of the brain to seek out pleasurable experiences.

The problem is when those experiences cause you more harm than good. I.e. bought some meth. Wanted a stimulant but not in the quantity Amphetamine would give me for the same price. Since Friday I've slept once on Saturday night. Feel pretty garbage and definitely taking a break for a bit.

The amount of wanking and fucking has been obscene - if I was in therapy I'd probably just say I had a quiet weekend in watching Netflix.
 
^^LOL meth always makes me feel grotty as fuck. Great at the time, but

growit&smokeit said:
There is quite a bit of evidence that mushrooms are very effective for cluster headaches.
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I gave a friend a single dose of acid for this exact purpose once. Can't say it permanently cured her, but she didn't experience any headaches in the immediate month or two following iirc.... pretty flimsy evidence, but there you go.
 
Tryptamines and lyseramides are both used in the treatment of various headaches (cluster headaches, migraines) in both medically approved - and self-medication - treatments.

Inso, is it really necessary to create identical threads in different subforums?
 
Sorry if it's not allowed, I just wanted a varied set of opinions
 
You could do that in a way that doesn't create duplicate threads...
It just makes it a bit hard for the mods in both forums, because each one has generated discussion - and we'd normally merge them or close one if it got no replies.
The discussion wouldn't make much sense if we merged it now, because the replies would be in chronological order (which i dont think we can do anything about that) and may be a bit of a mess.

I dunno, just in future maybe make the title/question/content sufficiently different as for it not to even be noticed :)
 
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spacejunk said:
You could do that in a way that doesn't create duplicate threads...
It just makes it a bit hard for the mods in both forums, because each one has generated discussion - and we'd normally merge them or close one if it got no replies.
The discussion wouldn't make much sense if we merged it now, because the replies would be in chronological order (which i dont think we can do anything about that) and may be a bit of a mess.

I dunno, just in future maybe make the title/question/content sufficiently different as for it not to even be noticed :)
Click to expand...

Ok no worries will keep in mind
 
Been years since I've had a truly great mephedrone experience... in fact mephedrone use always descends into pretty horrible paranoia... yet I always give in maybe every 3 or 4 months. 8)
 
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